How to approach a dear friend about a "agree to disagree stance" on things

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For you, this conflict is theoretical. For her, it’s existential. Do not offer her what is the equivalent of “I’m sorry, BUT…”

You need to give her a lot more time and space before you reach out, and then just offer to listen.

Yesss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You AGAIN?

She told you in no uncertain terms that it was over. You have to give her time to work through her feelings. A week is nowhere near enough, as long as the situation in Gaza is not resolved in some way (and right now it's worse than it ever was). You have to wait until this particular war has simmered down, and then reach out to a mutual friend to express your wish to reconnect. And then, if she accepts getting together over coffee or something, talk about anything else apart from that topic. There is no explicit agreement to disagree. There will be a tacit one, if you're both reasonable.

Honestly I would not want to run after someone like this, begging to be their friend. Someone who does not acknowledge the fundamental unfairness of the current situation is not someone I want as a friend.

do you have a political litmus test for every geopolitical situation for your friends, or is it just Israel?

I can guess the answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry OP, if you criticize the murder of Palestinian children that makes American Jews feel unsafe for some reason.

No, it's not that simple.
-An actual American Jew

[Anonymous]

Do you want to be friends with someone who is willing to throw away your friendship? Over your wanting to simply acknowledge 16,000 deaths? Do you want to be friends with someone who hears that 10,000 children have been murdered and they nod in approval?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:chin people! This is a friend I have had in my life for 18 years. We were each others maid of honor, have been on countless trips, this is more than a casual friend. I care deeply about her, her marriage is in trouble, her son is struggling and I am sensitive to all that, which makes me want to be able to help her. But she is alienating everyone. I guess I need to take a step back, I just don't want her to feel alone. Shoot me for being a nice person!

I wrote the longer reply upthread before I read some of your other replies, OP. It is concerning that you talk about not "backing down" from your views, which suggests you think you know it all about a situation that is highly complex and impacts her more than you, given the widespread antisemitism. I certainly hope you are not planning to lecture her on the "correct" (your) view.

In addition, you say that she is "alienating everyone" -- yet I'd guess she feels pretty darn isolated and vulnerable because she's finding out who are friends really are a time like this.

You seem very much on a high horse and think you're "nice" but there is something going on with YOU as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you want to be friends with someone who is willing to throw away your friendship? Over your wanting to simply acknowledge 16,000 deaths? Do you want to be friends with someone who hears that 10,000 children have been murdered and they nod in approval?

Oh please. You don't know what OP's friend thinks and feels. Y

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you want to be friends with someone who is willing to throw away your friendship? Over your wanting to simply acknowledge 16,000 deaths? Do you want to be friends with someone who hears that 10,000 children have been murdered and they nod in approval?

Oh please. You don't know what OP's friend thinks and feels. Y

Did you read the previous thread? Op outlined what this ‘friend’ said. Clearly she’s ok with the idf murdering children, as are many Americans.

[jsteele]

This is not a religion topic and there has already been a thread about this.