Anyone else struggling with their kids getting older?

[Anonymous]

My oldest is 10. Now I realize that more than half of his full time under our roof is over. I hate that idea.

[Anonymous]

Nope. It’s what they are supposed to do. Being sad about it is silly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. It’s what they are supposed to do. Being sad about it is silly.

why thank you sheldon from the big bang theory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do freak out sometimes--like those middle of the night wake-ups--about how fast it is all going. When my older turned 9, I remember sobbing about how he was halfway to 18. But they are 13 and almost 12 now and I like them more and more as people all the time. So it is also kind of exciting to watch them grow up. But yes, I am acutely aware of how soon it will all be over and it makes me understand my MIL a little bit better ....

yes and that makes me feel bad.
I'm so bummed i didn't have a third when i could have done and that one would be like 3 or 4 now and I'd have still a baby! but i would have maybe died of stress and exhaustion in the process so hard to say...

[Anonymous]

Mine are 12, 10, and 7 - there’s always an undercurrent of grief for the times past, but mostly I’m really happy. I don’t know that that sadness is specific to my kids getting older, either, more that life is going and I’m getting older, too.

DH and I deliberately chose flexible positions in our career paths. While we’re lucky to have that option, we also made some trade-offs, mostly financial. I don’t regret them for a second though - especially at my kids’ ages, we get plenty of time together. That’s our priority right now and so while I feel somewhat sad at the passage of time, I also feel that we’re making the most of the time we have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. It’s what they are supposed to do. Being sad about it is silly.

I have empathy for people who feel as OP does (my DH really does) but this is kind of where I land to. Lamenting the fact that my kid isn't 5 anymore just means ignoring the fact that my 7 yr old is delightful and interesting and can do things she never could before. I look back on prior ages fondly, and I look forward to the future with excitement, and I try to appreciate all that is best about the current age (while also trying not to dwell to much on the stuff that isn't great, and there's always a few things). But I've never actually wanted to stop time or turn it back. I feel like my kids get better with age, become more themselves, and I get to know them better and see them do more. Why would I wish all that away?

[Anonymous]

I feel this way and my kid is only 3. He just looks like such a big boy now compared to the squishy ballness of the 0-2 years. We are 1/6 done with the most time we will ever have with him and realistically we will be his favorite people for 7 years more, tops. It goes by too fast.

[Anonymous]

Yes and no- DC are in HS now. But I keep telling myself I was a person before kids and I’ll be a person after my kids move out into their own life.
I do think it is good to pause along the way, allow yourself some grief, and look forward to the future and what your life can be when you are no longer consumed with parenting.

[Anonymous]

Wring out every last bit of enjoyment out of your togetherness, OP.

Soon they will be out of your house. Before that, they might become difficult to ensure you won't miss them, but in actuality, you do miss them!

- parent of college freshman.

[Anonymous]

Now think about how our parents feel!

[Anonymous]

Op - I know. I just feel like - urgh - like I wanted to soak up every minute bc I always knew this would happen. But kids can be hard work and my oldest especially. I didn’t have much help, grandparents weren’t local and weren’t really interested in helping. And I’ve had to work crazy hard to keep things afloat. I feel like my plan to ‘really enjoy it bc time flies’ kind of failed! And I feel super unfinished. But it’s too late. It’s just hitting me super hard right now and I can’t seem to quiet the voice in my head about it. Yes I’m in therapy but therapy can’t pause time or give me money.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes I feel like this. But I also am looking forward to alone time with my husband at some point. And am afraid it will never happen because once the last kid leaves someone will end up boomeranging back home!

[Anonymous]

I feel horrified that my oldest is about to turn 7 and wonder where all the little kid years went and at the exact same time wish my 2yo could grow up faster and could jump to 5 so things could be a bit easier (also have another kid in between)

Big things being over is always hard even when we know new things are ahead