Anyone else struggling with their kids getting older?
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Anonymous
| I know that every season brings new, great things and I truly do feel that. But I'm struggling SO MUCH with the kids getting older. My youngest just turned 8 and I feel like I wake up in the middle of the night all the time and just panic about life going by and not having things really like I want them to be, and sad about not having younger kids and kind of angry about work taking up so much of my time. Can anyone else relate? It feels like a very lonely feeling; where I assume other moms are like - oh no I'm just enjoying all the seasons as they come! I'd love to know I'm not alone. |
Anonymous
| I hate that work takes up my time but I also feel blessed that they are able to spend a good chunk of that time with their father, grandparents, and a wonderful nanny. But I wish I could find that unicorn 9-3 job that pays $200k. I wouldn’t even mind logging back in in the evenings. |
Anonymous
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Yup. My only is 8, and I just want to hug her every time I look at her because she seems to be changing overnight.
The baby/toddler years felt like centuries long, and now every month is a day… |
Anonymous
| Yes, it’s all going so fast. Wish we could slow it down. |
Anonymous
| Oh enjoy this time. You’re in the thick of the sweet years. You will feel sad about your kids getting older, but then you’ll get accustomed to them being preteens and teens and college applicants. Their little selves will be memories on your phone. |
Anonymous
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Yes, I feel this way sometimes. I also sometimes think about what my kids will be like as teens or adults and get excited and want to fast forward to see what it's like.
Did you ever listen to that podcast The Longest Shortest Time, about parenting? It really captures this feeling about parenting, where the years just whip by but the days sometimes feel so long (sometimes in bad ways, sometimes in good ways). I try to just embrace it all. Even that feeling of loss and like it's all going by too fast and it's not all how I want it to be. I think that's just life. I remember when I was a teenager, my Spanish teacher said something like this in class one day, about how as you get older the years start whipping by and then one day you wake up and you realize A DECADE has whipped by. At the time I thought it was so sad but now that I'm her age, I realize it's also sweet and poignant, because it makes you realize how precious every minute is. Like in a couple minutes, I'm going to go peak in on my kids before I go to bed. And just thinking about this right now will remind me to give them a good long look, maybe linger over breakfast tomorrow, plan something great to do this weekend and make some memories. I know it's whipping by and I only have so much time, so it reminds me to really make it count. That's a gift. |
Anonymous
I already feel this way 😭😭. It feels like sand through my fingers and my whole life just - it’s like it’s getting away from me and I can’t stop it or pause it and it’s too late to have more kids or I would |
Anonymous
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Oh no. I have a countdown to them turning 18.
They are easy and lovely, but I'm not the mother type. All I know is that I got to get them to adulthood and at times I don't even know how I took on so much. |
Anonymous
really? you don't miss the baby/ toddler cuteness? |
Anonymous
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0-3 is hard I think - esp physically. Cute but really hard because it's all new too.
You start getting to really enjoy things at 5, post potty training and when you get to tail end of preK - more opportunities to meet other parents, etc. More personality comes out at ages 5-6. Travelling is easier to some extent. The really awesome years for us were the elementary school years of K-5. Really busy though with more activities but they are little humans and you can take them and do stuff, watch movies, lots of family time. Holiday school/events are a great time. It's a great few years. I'm now at the MS years of 10-14. UGH. The drama of the boys and girls! The electronics are out of control. The expenses are back for activities, sleepaway summer camps, if your kid needs tutoring/learning disability support/therapy - you can't escape it for this age even if you skipped it younger. The homework help, carpooling, now they are really people!  LOL
Puberty and hormones are a real thing. You can get lucky for sure with your kids but this is the age where it's been hardest for us - all the earlier stuff was way easier and the school years of elementary were super easy. The good stuff is that you can actually have a date night out, you can watch shows and travel more with the kids. They can make breakfast/lunch on their own, it is definitely easier physically. Not so much worrying about playdates and birthday parties. But you worry more about school, grades, mental health of course. |
Anonymous
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I understand the feeling, OP. I left my career to be a SAHM and very often people still ask me if I regretted that.
Except for the monetary loss (which can be a dealbreaker for many), I did not miss being a working mom. I had a strong sense of time flying by and I actually preferred being with my kids over going to work. I enjoyed my kids at all stages and I did not have any behavioral challenges from them. I was involved with the logistics of their lives but since I was home, it truly was not a big stress. My kids are in their teens and twenties now and on their career paths, and I still love them a lot and get joy from being included in their lives. Yes, the time passes very quickly. They are in your household for a very short time. |
Anonymous
| Feel this in my bones. They're 9 and 6, and it was only this past year that I started to feel that life is getting easier. All of a sudden, we can take more adventurous vacations. when I take them on outings by myself it's actually fun stead of stressful. There are lots of really cute moments where I look at them deep in their imaginary play and feel joy, but at the same time also know that this is fleeting. The 6 year old is still very affectionate and I cherish every hug and kiss from him, but the frequency is dropping. Even their pictures from just a year ago were so different. It's steady brew of joyful and sad. |
Anonymous
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I really hear you, OP! Mine are younger than yours but feels SUPER fast. I miss the baby stage and the round waddling toddler stage so much. Just feel sad that il never have that again.
I love them now and how curious and communicative and interesting they are, but miss the real squish days |
Anonymous
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Interesting.
I have a teen and a tween (but pre-puberty). I struggle with dreading going through another round of puberty and the end of that childhood innocence. BUT....my teen is so awesome. Interesting, funny, smart. I don't know. I think getting closer to the fully baked adult part where they are really great to be around on a more adult level is really fun. I am not a little kid person though. I see babies and toddlers and preschoolers and think...thank god that is not me anymore. 5-10 are great years though for sure. I also genuinely look forward to getting more time for my own life back with my spouse. I see glimmers of that happening and I have friends who are more there and it's something to look forward to, in my opinion. Makes the kids moving on easier. |
Anonymous
| I do freak out sometimes--like those middle of the night wake-ups--about how fast it is all going. When my older turned 9, I remember sobbing about how he was halfway to 18. But they are 13 and almost 12 now and I like them more and more as people all the time. So it is also kind of exciting to watch them grow up. But yes, I am acutely aware of how soon it will all be over and it makes me understand my MIL a little bit better .... |