Grandparents and the “perfect” Christmas presents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom does this! My DD is 8 and my mom basically wants to be assigned the #1 thing on her list so she can top Santa. Except that my DD has never been really into "big gifts". The few years there have been big gifts she does ask for they've been $150 and my mom can't believe they actually cost that much, so she tells me to buy the thing on her behalf and wrap it. And then sends me a check for $50 which should "more than cover it plus you can get her something extra."

Anyway, my mom is pretty disengaged from our family and doesn't really care about the grandchildren. Her goal is to be admired for giving the perfect gift and give enough so she can pout if we don't reciprocate and give her the same volume of presents. I'm still trying to figure out the equivalent of a Barbie Dreamhouse for a 80 year old woman because that would solve all of my problems.

DD is so exhausted by my mom's insistence that she revise her list until it pleases her that she finally stuck two random toys on there and called it a day. Then she called my brother and confessed what she really wanted- a specific kind of name-brand leggings that the big girls wear at her sport. Her uncle knows that leggings would not be considered an acceptable Christmas gift by our mom so he happily bought them.

Your brother sounds like a great uncle. Mine always bought me fugly jewelry.

My MIL asks what our son wants and my husband sends a list of 2-3 things. Then she buys what she wants to buy. My FIL thinks it isn't his issue. It is always something my child doesn't like/won't play with. They aren't really big on present giving. This year she literally texted my husband and said "what about this-with link?" and my husband replied with, "don't buy that. child won't play with that at all what about A, B, or C." All from the same website and the same price as what she had texted originally. Literally a couple days later we get a box I open it (not wrapped so I have to wrap it) and it is the original thing my husband told her not to buy. My husband came up to me and asked me if she wasn't listening to him or if she should get checked for dementia (she has had other issues where my husband says A and she forgets or does what she wants/ asks the same question and we can't figure out if she didn't listen/ forgot/ or didn't like what my husband said).

My mom's love language is shopping and gift giving. It makes my mom so happy. But she still buys me crap I don't want or need. I tell her please just visit don't buy me anything, but she still buys me ugly sweaters or knick knacks I won't use. But at least she listens to the grandkid!