Dividing people I date into categories

[Anonymous]

Every man OP dates is looking for a sexual connection. Is she doesn't want to have with a guy then continuing to date them is just playing games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe YOU have the commitment issue. Category 5 is too close for comfort. It’s real. I wonder if they started manifesting the behavior of those in category 6 (and pulled back) would you suddenly want more from them? Many people are drawn to those who are unavailable, or give them a challenge; perhaps that’s part of what draws you to category 6? The problem is that you are stuck in this pattern, and have not been able to move forward in a relationship.

OR - you just haven’t met the right person yet.

OP here. I'm honestly worried about this. I'm also worried that the Category 5 people are more into me than the Category 6 people precisely because I'm slightly ambivalent about Category 5. Not only that, I worry I could be failing with Category 6 because I'm too available. But maybe I'm just not quite attractive enough to get and keep a super attractive Category 6 type.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^but the fact that this is a distinct pattern that repeats itself again and again (with categories 5 and 6, not the prior ones), makes me wonder if the issue is with you.

I am OP and I wonder this too.

Does anyone else have this pattern with 5 and 6?

[Anonymous]

It's funny, I was under the impression that OP was a man.

Anyway. You're too analytical, and not in the right way. Such a turn-off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe YOU have the commitment issue. Category 5 is too close for comfort. It’s real. I wonder if they started manifesting the behavior of those in category 6 (and pulled back) would you suddenly want more from them? Many people are drawn to those who are unavailable, or give them a challenge; perhaps that’s part of what draws you to category 6? The problem is that you are stuck in this pattern, and have not been able to move forward in a relationship.

OR - you just haven’t met the right person yet.

OP here. I'm honestly worried about this. I'm also worried that the Category 5 people are more into me than the Category 6 people precisely because I'm slightly ambivalent about Category 5. Not only that, I worry I could be failing with Category 6 because I'm too available. But maybe I'm just not quite attractive enough to get and keep a super attractive Category 6 type.

relaaaaax OP, it’s way more fun.

You’re taking dating (and life) way too seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It's funny, I was under the impression that OP was a man.

Anyway. You're too analytical, and not in the right way. Such a turn-off.

Are you a man or a woman?

[Anonymous]

Meta takeaway as a married man: women have a lot of options and have high standards... I'd rather hold on to my wife and keep her happy... definitely don't want to be forced to date again in my mid 40's.

[Anonymous]

I feel exactly like OP. These answers are helping, even if some of them are tough

[Anonymous]

When I was single, my category 5 and 6s didn’t work out. I found that the intensity of the connection usually masks other issues. My category 6 went on forever before one of our intense moments was the last straw.

[Anonymous]

You’re single for a very good reason. You over think it and every first date sounds like working your way through a classic decision tree. Before your next first date, drink a half bottle of wine and relax and see how it goes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spend time with your 4s but don’t sleep with them. See who moves from 4 to 5 and 6. Find out if they’re as loyal as you, and stick with them.

Maybe she just wants to get laid

[Anonymous]

Y'all don't ever just let life happen? Y'all don't ever stop thinking you are more important than you are, and just take it in, without the pretense?

No wonder y'all still single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe YOU have the commitment issue. Category 5 is too close for comfort. It’s real. I wonder if they started manifesting the behavior of those in category 6 (and pulled back) would you suddenly want more from them? Many people are drawn to those who are unavailable, or give them a challenge; perhaps that’s part of what draws you to category 6? The problem is that you are stuck in this pattern, and have not been able to move forward in a relationship.

OR - you just haven’t met the right person yet.

OP here. I'm honestly worried about this. I'm also worried that the Category 5 people are more into me than the Category 6 people precisely because I'm slightly ambivalent about Category 5. Not only that, I worry I could be failing with Category 6 because I'm too available. But maybe I'm just not quite attractive enough to get and keep a super attractive Category 6 type.

Maybe. More likely, the Category 6 guys are highly attractive to a lot of people, and you don't stand out from the crowd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Y'all don't ever just let life happen? Y'all don't ever stop thinking you are more important than you are, and just take it in, without the pretense?

No wonder y'all still single.

I didn’t have OP’s categories, but I married category 6 and it would not have occurred to me to settle for less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Y'all don't ever just let life happen? Y'all don't ever stop thinking you are more important than you are, and just take it in, without the pretense?

No wonder y'all still single.

I didn’t have OP’s categories, but I married category 6 and it would not have occurred to me to settle for less.

What makes you think your category 6 husband isn't going to sleep with somebody else, just like OP's dates ?