Can I get some input on a school suggesting that my kindergartner have a neuropsychological evaluation?

[Anonymous]

Private school? I assume so because otherwise they’d start the process of doing an evaluation through the school district (and that would be free!).

First, you have to do the neuropsych to show you’re taking the issues they raised seriously. They are not necessarily trying to get rid of you but you have to play ball.

Second, the suggestion is probably not unreasonable. Although ADHD (for example) might look like just being a little less tolerant of frustration than other kids, those differences are pretty apparent to people who spend all day with first graders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this public or private? I'm getting strong private school vibes like this is a prelude to counseling him out because they want a carefully curated class of above-average first graders. Also, is this your oldest child to attend this school? If not, how would you compare your older children(s) K experiences?

This exactly. If it’s a private school, they’re just trying to counsel you out. And I would take it to heart, they’re telling you they don’t want to support your child and will make your life difficult until you leave the school. It happens ALL of the time, and it really is now or later.

If it’s public, the school won’t recommend testing unless there are really strong concerns. Teachers have vast experience with all ranges of kids, and know what’s typical and what’s not. For public, I would take it seriously and try not to minimize.

Agree. A public can't waste resources on willy nilly neuropsych testing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Private school? I assume so because otherwise they’d start the process of doing an evaluation through the school district (and that would be free!).

First, you have to do the neuropsych to show you’re taking the issues they raised seriously. They are not necessarily trying to get rid of you but you have to play ball.

Second, the suggestion is probably not unreasonable. Although ADHD (for example) might look like just being a little less tolerant of frustration than other kids, those differences are pretty apparent to people who spend all day with first graders.

If it is a private school, OP will know they are trying to get rid of her son when they start moving the goalposts. neurospych testing today, grade retention tomorrow. The sick thing is that OP will pay for the privilege of being treated like a nuisance.

[Anonymous]

As a public school teacher I agree this is a private school issue. Otherwise they would suggest an examination with developmental pediatrician and/or refer for evaluation through the school process (usually it’s this one). If so, OP, this is likely a push out of the private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll try to keep it short (newsflash: I failed). My son is in kindergarden. In the 10 or so weeks of school so far, he's had about 3-4 incidents where he's gotten disproportionately frustrated with things not going his way. 2 of the episodes involved playing with classroom toys, and he wasn't able to get the specific toys that he liked, so he apparently broke down and cried for awhile. 1 of the episodes involved playground activity where he is one of the slower kids and got frustrated and screamed/cried for awhile. My understanding is that he recovers within a few minutes and his day resumes as normal. We've seen some similar issues on occasion at home. At school these incidents seem on average to be once every 2-3 weeks. At home, it's probably similar frequency, maybe a little more frequent... every week or so.

The other issues involving handwriting. The school administers a test where one of the elements is they give the kid a sheet that has some shapes (square, circle, triangle, diamond, etc.) on it, and the kid is supposed to copy the shape using a pencil, on the same piece of paper, right next to the printed shape. My kid had trouble doing an accurate copy of the triangle and diamond but was fine on the 2 or 3 other shapes. And apparently he got a little bit frustrated when he wasn't getting the triangle and diamond correct (no crying, apparently, just a little visible frustration). Might be a fine motor skill issue. Might be an issue being able to see something and then reproduce it. Not totally clear at this point. I think on every other aspect of this test he did OK, and apparently his overall score on the test was pretty typical for a 6-year old.

Based primarily on those two things (the incidents of disproportionate frustration, and the poor ability to copy certain shapes), the school is recommending a neuropsychological evaluation. As far as we know, there has been so specific practice at copying shapes or specific attempts at remediating this behavior yet.

Do any of you have enough experience in this area to know whether the recommendation of a neuropsychological evaluation at this point is reasonable?

Essentially, I'm just hoping that somebody can give me a sanity check along the lines of "yep, totally normal for a school to request that you have a neuropsychological evaluation under these circumstances." Or perhaps "nope, totally premature to request a neuropsychological evaluation at this point. They should give you a chance to work on it and see if theres improvement first." Because I just have no idea.

Thoughts/input GREATLY appreciated!

Your line about “having a chance to work on it and see if there’s improvement first” reminded me a lot of my own thinking when my child was having some struggles early on at a K-8. (He graduated from 8th there btw). I always thought, well, he was tired that day or he hadn’t eaten well or he’s been sick or hasn’t been taught that. The thing is other children also are tired/sick or new to the material, but they have more ability to compensate, probably because they aren’t having to work as hard as he is normally. Not having that extra margin can be a sign of LD or neuropsych differences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would do the testing. Early intervention for any issue is key.

If you can afford it, do it. You will learn all sorts of things about your child in the process. It is normal for a school to be recommending this at this stage.

[Anonymous]

Given the examples, I find this unreasonable and wouldn’t do it. It sounds like maybe this school is not the right fit for him though

[Anonymous]

OP, did you read this article a while back?

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/07/02/nyregion/saint-anns-suicide.html

It's heartbreaking, and a lot of what you said in your post reminded me of it. If the writing on the wall says the school is trying to counsel you out, it would be so much better to cut ties earlier than later.

If you send to public, the money you save on private school tuition could be spent on tutoring and therapy as needed.

[Anonymous]

While I can see how the examples seem trivial, a reasonable question would be: how many episodes of screaming/crying and low frustration tolerance have the other kids in the class had at this point in the year? None?

I know it’s not what you want to hear, but if the teachers are experienced and it’s a good school, chances are they are flagging something that is outside the typical range and it’s actually better to figure it out now.

[Anonymous]

I teach kindergarten in a public elementary school and what you describe isn’t anything that would raise red flags unless the teacher hasn’t told you everything. Have you had an in-person meeting go get more details? It takes a very, very, very long time to get any student tested unless the behaviors are so outside the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:well it will take you 3 years to get a neuropsych exam, so doesn’t seem like a great recommendation.

I’d talk to the school SPED team and ask what the meaning of the recommendation is. They have an affirm duty to start the evaluation process if they suspect a disability.

This is misleading. Maybe you are talking about KKI or Children’s Hospital, but it won’t take that long with a private tester.

It will take months and thousands of dollars. A truly stupid way to try to address fairly routine K problems. OP can get an appointment with a child psychologist who will then be able to recommend what to do.

[Anonymous]

Given that schools like to fight having to give any kind of accommodations, I think there must be some major issues the teachers have seen.

[Anonymous]

:does the school have a reputation for doing this? Can you talk to families with older kids?

[Anonymous]

It might not be “bad” behavior that they’re seeing, but just something atypical. It can be hard to delicately put that into words for parents. I’m thinking of one K student in my school. It’s not overly disruptive but very different behavior that can cause issues if left unaddressed.

[Anonymous]

Does your child have any daycare/preschool experience? What you’re reporting sounds more like what I’d expect in a pre-k student or a very young 5 year old, not a 6 year old