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I'll try to keep it short (newsflash: I failed). My son is in kindergarden. In the 10 or so weeks of school so far, he's had about 3-4 incidents where he's gotten disproportionately frustrated with things not going his way. 2 of the episodes involved playing with classroom toys, and he wasn't able to get the specific toys that he liked, so he apparently broke down and cried for awhile. 1 of the episodes involved playground activity where he is one of the slower kids and got frustrated and screamed/cried for awhile. My understanding is that he recovers within a few minutes and his day resumes as normal. We've seen some similar issues on occasion at home. At school these incidents seem on average to be once every 2-3 weeks. At home, it's probably similar frequency, maybe a little more frequent... every week or so.
The other issues involving handwriting. The school administers a test where one of the elements is they give the kid a sheet that has some shapes (square, circle, triangle, diamond, etc.) on it, and the kid is supposed to copy the shape using a pencil, on the same piece of paper, right next to the printed shape. My kid had trouble doing an accurate copy of the triangle and diamond but was fine on the 2 or 3 other shapes. And apparently he got a little bit frustrated when he wasn't getting the triangle and diamond correct (no crying, apparently, just a little visible frustration). Might be a fine motor skill issue. Might be an issue being able to see something and then reproduce it. Not totally clear at this point. I think on every other aspect of this test he did OK, and apparently his overall score on the test was pretty typical for a 6-year old. Based primarily on those two things (the incidents of disproportionate frustration, and the poor ability to copy certain shapes), the school is recommending a neuropsychological evaluation. As far as we know, there has been so specific practice at copying shapes or specific attempts at remediating this behavior yet. Do any of you have enough experience in this area to know whether the recommendation of a neuropsychological evaluation at this point is reasonable? Essentially, I'm just hoping that somebody can give me a sanity check along the lines of "yep, totally normal for a school to request that you have a neuropsychological evaluation under these circumstances." Or perhaps "nope, totally premature to request a neuropsychological evaluation at this point. They should give you a chance to work on it and see if theres improvement first." Because I just have no idea. Thoughts/input GREATLY appreciated! |
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I'm guessing there are a lot more little incidents that prompted the school to make this suggestion.
In volunteering to help out at school, I see my son's kindergarten classmates showing a lot of behavior that their parents either never see or just ignore. |
Might be true. We get a daily behavior rating, though, and for something as significant as recommending neuropsychological testing, I would think perhaps they'd try to record the incidents that support the recommendation. So at this point I'm operating under the belief that the incidents mentioned in the OP are the primary incidents at issue, and that the recommendation is based primarily (or exclusively) on those. Which is why I seek in put on: Is the recommendation reasonable based on those issues identified in the OP? I have no idea! (and for the record, we are planning on following the suggestion and trying to get one scheduled... we would just hope to find some basis for knowing whether it's reasonable or not. I suppose if nothing else, we will find that out at our first appointment with the doctor. Which might be months away because they are all booked up!). |
Yes, this. Teachers and classroom aides are NOT reporting and documenting every single behavior. There isn't time. So there is more going on than the specific incidents that were shared with you, OP. |
My guess is that the recommendation is coming from more behaviors like 1. Some tears and emotional outbursts are normal and to be expected for kindergarten, but I'm guessing teachers and staff have seen enough to think it's out of the norm for your kid. |
| Can he write his name? |
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First l would talk to his teacher about it. Some of them can spot an issue or have a hunch that parents do not. They might have just written a couple of examples but don’t have time to write a more detailed recommendation. Also might be more open in a discussion vs in writing
I have no experience but have a good friend who is an ES teacher that had suggested a kid might have ASD, and the evaluation confirmed it |
| I would do the testing. Early intervention for any issue is key. |
| Is this public or private? I'm getting strong private school vibes like this is a prelude to counseling him out because they want a carefully curated class of above-average first graders. Also, is this your oldest child to attend this school? If not, how would you compare your older children(s) K experiences? |
| Is this a public school? If the school isn't paying for it, it's illegal for them to make recommendations that involve the parent paying for something. They can refer your child for special education eligibility, where all of those tests are completed by the school district for free. |
| Just reframing it for you, OP - I think it's great that your teachers are observant and proactive enough to notify you now in November that there may or may not be some issues. If something does turn up, you'll still have half the school year to address it before 1st grade. |
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well it will take you 3 years to get a neuropsych exam, so doesn’t seem like a great recommendation.
I’d talk to the school SPED team and ask what the meaning of the recommendation is. They have an affirm duty to start the evaluation process if they suspect a disability. |
This is misleading. Maybe you are talking about KKI or Children’s Hospital, but it won’t take that long with a private tester. |
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It's the very rare school that dares to ask this of parents, OP, because a lot of parents don't take it well. It makes me think your child really needs it. However, a full neuropsych by a reputable psychologist's practice will cost at least $3K and be several hours long. I'm not sure that's appropriate for a young child, because if they don't take it seriously throughout, the results of the battery of tests will not be reliable. Most practices have waiting lists. I would make an appointment with a development ped and go from there (there might also be a waiting list). There are shorter evaluations that can be done on younger children. Your child sounds as if he may have ADHD and possibly ASD. ASD cannot be medicated, ADHD can, but parents often are wary of medicating so young. There are behavioral modifications for your child and parent education you can do, but that is long-term work, and you'll need to do research and have some guidance by experts. You can report back to the preschool that you've made an appointment with a developmental ped. They will decide what measures to take on their end to manage the outbursts. There is a risk he might be asked to leave, but there's not much you can do about that. There's no magic pill to make him suddenly better! |
This exactly. If it’s a private school, they’re just trying to counsel you out. And I would take it to heart, they’re telling you they don’t want to support your child and will make your life difficult until you leave the school. It happens ALL of the time, and it really is now or later. If it’s public, the school won’t recommend testing unless there are really strong concerns. Teachers have vast experience with all ranges of kids, and know what’s typical and what’s not. For public, I would take it seriously and try not to minimize. |