“You’re greasy”

[Anonymous]

Keep an eye on her. She is on the brink of going all out Carrie

[Anonymous]

The crazies are out in full force on this thread today!

[Anonymous]

I don't think this is a troll. MS is rough and these kids are awful.

You need to give her tools to combat these bullies, she's 12, she doesn't have your experience or wit. They're just going to keep doing it if she doesn't stand up for herself and she's not going to know how to do that on her own, she needs help to be empowered.

- "Why do you care? You spend a lot of time staring at me."

- "Why are you name calling?"

- "Wow. This again. You're original."

She needs to disarm them and needs a really deep tool bag of appropriate comments. IF it doesn't work, then escalate to admin.

And one that's maybe a question mark, but it worked for my kid:

- "Does it make you feel good to talk shit?" -- Tell her if she gets in trouble for saying shit, you'll stand up for her and it's a good opportunity to address the bullying with administrators.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Greasy is slang for gross or wrong for moral reasons. It has nothing to actually being physically greasy. She maybe did something to someone (is she dating her friend's ex or something like that) that is making people say that.

Uhhh, no it's not. Maybe in the 1950s. How old are you?

[Anonymous]

Take a peek at her phone. Middle Schoolers say lots of stupid stuff and they are awful via text and snap chat. I've been talking a lot to my 8th grader about it. He is part of some group chats that have gotten out of hand with insults and awful language. He often hasn't said it but he's not stopping it either. I've had to talk to him a lot of about it.

A kid could have called her greasy to seem cool to their friends and to feel better about themselves. I definitely think it's worth paying attention to monitor what's going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is a troll. MS is rough and these kids are awful.

You need to give her tools to combat these bullies, she's 12, she doesn't have your experience or wit. They're just going to keep doing it if she doesn't stand up for herself and she's not going to know how to do that on her own, she needs help to be empowered.

- "Why do you care? You spend a lot of time staring at me."

- "Why are you name calling?"

- "Wow. This again. You're original."

She needs to disarm them and needs a really deep tool bag of appropriate comments. IF it doesn't work, then escalate to admin.

And one that's maybe a question mark, but it worked for my kid:

- "Does it make you feel good to talk shit?" -- Tell her if she gets in trouble for saying shit, you'll stand up for her and it's a good opportunity to address the bullying with administrators.

Relational aggression is complex. I am not sure any of these "comebacks" are the best idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think someone at school teased my DD12 about being greasy. The thing is, she’s not. At all. Yesterday she came home from school and immediately wanted to shower to wash her hair. Then, last night, she insisted on deep cleaning her hair brush. This morning, on the dry erase board above her desk, she had scribbled “you’re greasy”.

She’s very clean and has tidy hair. I’d be the first to tell her otherwise. I don’t know why she was teased, but clearly she took it to heart. How do I proceed?

OP, is she black? I have heard this lobbed at AA girls when I was growing up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is a troll. MS is rough and these kids are awful.

You need to give her tools to combat these bullies, she's 12, she doesn't have your experience or wit. They're just going to keep doing it if she doesn't stand up for herself and she's not going to know how to do that on her own, she needs help to be empowered.

- "Why do you care? You spend a lot of time staring at me."

- "Why are you name calling?"

- "Wow. This again. You're original."

She needs to disarm them and needs a really deep tool bag of appropriate comments. IF it doesn't work, then escalate to admin.

And one that's maybe a question mark, but it worked for my kid:

- "Does it make you feel good to talk shit?" -- Tell her if she gets in trouble for saying shit, you'll stand up for her and it's a good opportunity to address the bullying with administrators.

Relational aggression is complex. I am not sure any of these "comebacks" are the best idea.

I was always instructed to ignore bullies when I was younger. It just made school a place I didn't feel safe. Looking back, it seems crazy to instruct silence among verbal and emotional abuse. I'm not saying that the comebacks are the right way to go, but I don't think ignoring works either

[Anonymous]

I’d write on her dry erase board: Larla you are beautiful. Add something affirming each day. It lets her know you’re in her corner and she’s fine just the way she is.

[Anonymous]

She might have anxiety- saw a clip on social media- and now is obsessing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Greasy is slang for gross or wrong for moral reasons. It has nothing to actually being physically greasy. She maybe did something to someone (is she dating her friend's ex or something like that) that is making people say that.

Uhhh, no it's not. Maybe in the 1950s. How old are you?

Are you serious? Go look it up in urbandictionary.com right now. Omg.

[Anonymous]

My eating disorder started this way. Someone said I looked like a potato. Middle school years are the worst.

[Anonymous]

Op, teach your child that someone used those exact words on the kid who’s being mean to your kid.

Hurt people hurt people.

An early lesson in turning the other cheek.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, teach your child that someone used those exact words on the kid who’s being mean to your kid.

Hurt people hurt people.

An early lesson in turning the other cheek.

Or an early lesson in training victims of abuse to be silent.

[Anonymous]

Kids say horrible stuff in middle school and it often doesn't have anything to do with reality. DD has overheard kids tell others their forehead is big, they have bad breath, and other things when none of the things above are true!

It's usually a way to mess with other kids and make them insecure. I'm sorry your child has to go through this OP.