College freshman likely depressed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s missed two weeks of school and sleeps all day? Major bout of depression.

This is a huge red flag. If she can’t put one foot in front of the other and start going through the motions of basic functioning again, getting up and out the door to class. then she probably needs to come home for treatment.

College is a huge step that she may not have been ready for, if it hadn’t been the boyfriend it probably would have been something else.

Explain to her that life wont always linear from here on out. There can be a lot of one step forward and 3 back and failure, but resilience means you have to keep moving and looking for a way up and out of whatever hole you either dug or fell into.

When you essentially stop moving, lying in bed all day for weeks, a reaction not in proportion to the triggering event, then it’s time to take a time out to figure out why obsession is overriding self preservation.

Better to make arrangements to leave in a controlled way, as someone said reach out to the dean of students, request a medical leave of absence and get her home and into treatment.

She may not want to go back, but at least this gives her the option, and hopefully she develops some tools that help her to better whether the inevitable challenges ahead.

I 100% agree with PP. This is serious. It sounds like, with her history of depression, she is unlikely to be able to access the resources to bounce back on her own. I would go there, get an air bnb and try to find her the support she needs. If that doesn't work, I would bring her home to regroup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll be the counterpoint: two weeks out, this seems in the realm of normal emotional up and down, for first major heartbreak.

Is she coming home for Thanksgiving? Empathize, validate, and then if u think she needs scaffolding to get her act together for end-of-semester, can you go back with her and stay nearby (hotel?) I recognize that’s disruptive and expensive. But there is a real cause for her feelings which tips it for me into realm of possibly normal, and she needs you to model and help with coping skills, NOT blow up her life by pulling her out of school!

Not everyone is on a linear path. Sometimes withdrawing and regrouping is the best plan. High drama to say it will "blow up her life."

[Anonymous]

OP I am very sorry this is happening however missing two weeks of classes? No not ok.

You need to get your kid to withdraw they should not be at college 12 hours away.

Your kid is not ready for college they need help like yesterday.

I understand this is hard.