Therapy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Uh, what the hell kinda shady therapists are you going to where you can confess to doing something bad and they'll make it seem okay?

I think OP means “bad” like dating the same type of loser. Not something criminal. And to use the therapist poster’s analogy of therapists being like dentists and doctors, I agree. There are shady dentists who do unnecessary dental procedures for the money. But they’re rare. Just like a therapist who doesn’t actively try to help the patient and instead just lets them talk about their problems indefinitely. It’s possible but rare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it can be helpful but does anyone also acknowledge that you are paying someone's salary to talk to them? Meaning, if you are doing something "bad", sure they will talk to you all day and make it seem okay as long as your paying!

I'm the therapist from above. It's interesting to me that you frame therapy as paying someone to engage with you. You see it differently than going to a doctor or a dentist. Do you often feel as though you have to pressure or bribe people into engaging with you? Is that something you're insecure about?

Classic no-responsibility response by a therapist. Yes, turn a valid critique into a personal attack on the questioner. Very productive!

NP. Except that it’s not a “valid critique “ . No trained therapist that I know — and I know quite a few” will “make it seem okay as long as you’re paying”. Not one. Since the initial premise is deeply flawed, any criticism that accepts and follows from that premise is also deeply flawed.

Yes, you’re paying someone’s salary to talk to them. That’s also true of lawyers and other knowledge based professionals. I have no idea what the OP means by “bad” or “make it seem okay” — but that’s not what therapy is like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it can be helpful but does anyone also acknowledge that you are paying someone's salary to talk to them? Meaning, if you are doing something "bad", sure they will talk to you all day and make it seem okay as long as your paying!

I'm the therapist from above. It's interesting to me that you frame therapy as paying someone to engage with you. You see it differently than going to a doctor or a dentist. Do you often feel as though you have to pressure or bribe people into engaging with you? Is that something you're insecure about?

DP. When I go to a doctor or a dentist, they usually come up with a very finite plan: we'll do X, it will take Y visits, this is how we'll know it's working. Now think about people who go to weekly therapy for years with no measurable goals other than "one day I'll feel better", and that "better" isn't quantified either. The data on those long term interventions, as opposed to structured 12-16 weeks programs, isn't as good as most think.

Have you been to therapy? There are SMART goals. They are measured and time limited. This is standard practice.

[Anonymous]

People think therapy doesn’t work because therapy doesn’t magically fix problems- you still have to fix your own problems. And the therapist isn’t going to tell you that you have to do x y or z.

You still have to work on yourself, you may have to read books and do workbooks, you may have to take meds. Therapy isn’t magic.

[Anonymous]

Problems with therapy:
1. You have to pay someone who doesn't know you to get to know you, which can be time consuming and costly.
2. Sometimes it's better to just meditate and try NOT to think about things. Rehashing things in therapy can reinforce what you need to let go of. By the time you fill them in on what happened in the past week, it's old news. It's not immediate enough to really help.
3. Therapists are just people. Some therapists can do more harm than good. They don't know everything, might not be a good fit, may not be an expert in what you need, might say the wrong things. If you read a book on your issues, you can get help from an expert for your specific issues.
4. At some point, you have to stop seeing them and sometimes they even charge you money to explain why you don't want to see them anymore which helps them more than it helps you.