What age did your kids find their "thing"?

[Anonymous]

If you can afford it, have them try different things over the next 12 years. It’s great to have had exposure as a kid that you can return to later as an adult.

[Anonymous]

One of the greatest joys in my life is watching my kid develop his own things completely apart from my influence. Those things are Fortnite and NFL football. 😂

Seriously, just expose your kid to stuff and support what they are interested in. Don’t forget that they need a lot of free play time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to disagree with some of the consensus here.

First, I think doing activities in kindergarten or even younger can be great. I have an only child, and we started enrolling her in activities at 4 in order to encourage more socialization. We looked for things that were age appropriate and that played to existing interests. She likes music and dancing, so we put her in preschool level dance and gymnastics classes, and took her to music and movement classes at the local library. She loved all of these, but especially ballet.

In K we also added soccer at her request (a lot of classmates in K were doing soccer). But it turned out she didn't really like it, so we only did it once. She's also done basketball through an after school program but she didn't like that either. We won't ever discourage team sports, but we are getting the sense that at least at this age, it doesn't really suit her.

We made her take swim lessons because that's a fundamental skill. And for a long time she hated it but we made her go because we want her to be at least competent in the water. And then she got competent in the water and discovered, actually, she loves swimming. At least for now

So now she's in first and just doing ballet and swim. Recently she told me she loves science and asked there are any "science camps" in the summer. So I'm looking to see if there's a STEM camp for her age group for next summer.

I don't know if ballet or swim or science will be her "thing" or just passing interests. We are totally fine either way. I think some kids latch onto activities early and never lose interest, and others don't, and I don't think either one is right or wrong. Developing an early interest like that has some advantages, as others have noted regarding sports that kind of close off to kids who don't start them early enough. But if she winds up doing ballet 5 days a week in high school, that could also prevent her from exploring other passions, or just being a kid. So there are tradeoffs.

But I don't think here is anything wrong with signing your kindergartener up activities and, if there's anything they latch on to, encouraging that interest. Whether it becomes their thing or not, they will learn something and make friends. Good enough.

I agree with this with the caveat, that you don't do too much at once so they still have a good amount of unscheduled, screen-free, time. In retrospect, it was what my kids were drawn to doing in their free time that was much more indicative of the paths they've taken now that they are in college.

DS never had "thing" among the extracurriculars he tried. He happily did rec soccer and baseball purely for the social aspects, took guitar lessons in HS because I insisted he had to do SOMETHING, played golf with his grandfather. But he's also crazy good at math and in his downtime he liked playing games that involved math, loved looking at big books with lots of pictures about data, covered his walls with maps. He's now at VT in a math-intensive major + minor in geospatial information systems. He tried one math-related EC in 9th grade and hated it. He's really just not a joiner and not competitive. But he's smart, social, and a good worker (has worked summers since 8th grade).

DD's free time was spent either 1) digging in the dirt, looking for bugs, exploring any natural space she could get to 2) figuring our science "experiments" 3) art of her own creation. Her focus was a lot clearer than DS's so I was more focused in finding activities for her to nurture her science/art interests. By the time she was in HS she went all in on science classes but kept art as a private, personal activity. She's now majoring in environmental science and art is still her joy, not something she does for anyone else.

[Anonymous]

My kid basically wanted to try something new every year. Nothing has “stuck” and she is a sixth grader. It is fine!! She’s a great kid that is currently trying Battle of the Books and Model UN. She likes both a lot, but next year she could easily say “meh, I want to try something else.” And we will be happy to let her try new stuff.

I can easily see her college application essay being something like “I’m one of the rare kids that is a generalist.” And she will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid basically wanted to try something new every year. Nothing has “stuck” and she is a sixth grader. It is fine!! She’s a great kid that is currently trying Battle of the Books and Model UN. She likes both a lot, but next year she could easily say “meh, I want to try something else.” And we will be happy to let her try new stuff.

I can easily see her college application essay being something like “I’m one of the rare kids that is a generalist.” And she will be fine.

6 grade! I have a 1st grader and I'm hoping he will find a couple things he'll want to stick with SOON. Coordinating new things (schedules, driving around, just getting acquainted with new activities and new parents, etc.) is kind of tough for this introvert!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of the greatest joys in my life is watching my kid develop his own things completely apart from my influence. Those things are Fortnite and NFL football. 😂

Seriously, just expose your kid to stuff and support what they are interested in. Don’t forget that they need a lot of free play time.

+100 my math-loving kid's passion in elementary school was Pokemon. He actually played the card game, which requires a lot of math. So many hours were spent building decks based on different strategies and roping mom, dad, sister into playing with him. He's 20 and still has binders full of cards in his room.

[Anonymous]

DD: 11 (ballet)
DS: I guess his thing was soccer for most of his childhood, but he didn't really find his true "thing" -- running -- until 11th grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the greatest joys in my life is watching my kid develop his own things completely apart from my influence. Those things are Fortnite and NFL football. 😂

Seriously, just expose your kid to stuff and support what they are interested in. Don’t forget that they need a lot of free play time.

+100 my math-loving kid's passion in elementary school was Pokemon. He actually played the card game, which requires a lot of math. So many hours were spent building decks based on different strategies and roping mom, dad, sister into playing with him. He's 20 and still has binders full of cards in his room.

To be clear, he doesn't play Pokemon anymore he just has very fond attachment to the memories. Now he puts his energies toward fantasy football and his major in applied math.

[Anonymous]

That’s nice

[Anonymous]

College.

[Anonymous]

My kids have been totally different - one has tried multiple things - she has tried a variety of sports for only a season before moving on. My other daughter has found one activity she loves (dance) and does that consistently while rotating through other sports and things. If you can send your kid to a more general interest day camp, that's a good way to have them try and learn the basics of different sports or arts and see what they express interest in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid basically wanted to try something new every year. Nothing has “stuck” and she is a sixth grader. It is fine!! She’s a great kid that is currently trying Battle of the Books and Model UN. She likes both a lot, but next year she could easily say “meh, I want to try something else.” And we will be happy to let her try new stuff.

I can easily see her college application essay being something like “I’m one of the rare kids that is a generalist.” And she will be fine.

6 grade! I have a 1st grader and I'm hoping he will find a couple things he'll want to stick with SOON. Coordinating new things (schedules, driving around, just getting acquainted with new activities and new parents, etc.) is kind of tough for this introvert!

you don’t have to do this.

[Anonymous]

Let them do whatever at 5. My kids didn't have a thing until middle school. Even then it will change with puberty - my son LOVED basketball, but is fully grown at 6ft, not exactly competitive HS material. So he switched to drama and is really quite good. My daughter always thought she'd be a long distance runner - turns out she breaks swimming records and hold the school record for triple jump (who knew? She just tried it out of the blue one day).

[Anonymous]

One of my kids had a thing at 10 and then a different one at 14. The other one never had a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid basically wanted to try something new every year. Nothing has “stuck” and she is a sixth grader. It is fine!! She’s a great kid that is currently trying Battle of the Books and Model UN. She likes both a lot, but next year she could easily say “meh, I want to try something else.” And we will be happy to let her try new stuff.

I can easily see her college application essay being something like “I’m one of the rare kids that is a generalist.” And she will be fine.

6 grade! I have a 1st grader and I'm hoping he will find a couple things he'll want to stick with SOON. Coordinating new things (schedules, driving around, just getting acquainted with new activities and new parents, etc.) is kind of tough for this introvert!

1st grade? You might be in for a shock then. Good luck.

OP this is an example of a crazy overly competitive parent. Let your kid be a kid. They will drive what they like, not you.