Do I need to send anything with DD?

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why being an only child has anything to do with this scenario. OP, you could have left that out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why being an only child has anything to do with this scenario. OP, you could have left that out.

Why is everyone offended?

I have an only and DO often go the extra mile to socialize my child, and because I assume it’s less stressful for the parent of multiples. I also feel it’s my duty since I didn’t give her built-in socialization. I’ve seen this talked about on here before with many agreeing, so I don’t know why everyone is piling on OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Uh oh - I think this post might be about me. I have an only child (I know, can you believe I couldn't afford IVF more than once? I'm terrible).

I pick up and drive my daughters best friend and her all the time. My daughter also plays volleyball.

Just so you know, my daughter also pays for your kid's lunch daily because you never send it with her. Maybe focus a bit more on that - then a $20 that doesn't nearly cover the expenses I've laid out on yours.

What a jerk you are OP

Good lord, calm down! You need to ask yourself why this is bothering you so much and get some help with that.

I’m a mom of an only, only I’m more terrible than you because I didn’t want more! So I’m a terrible selfish twat! And I’m not offended by OPs statement at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Uh oh - I think this post might be about me. I have an only child (I know, can you believe I couldn't afford IVF more than once? I'm terrible).

I pick up and drive my daughters best friend and her all the time. My daughter also plays volleyball.

Just so you know, my daughter also pays for your kid's lunch daily because you never send it with her. Maybe focus a bit more on that - then a $20 that doesn't nearly cover the expenses I've laid out on yours.

What a jerk you are OP

You sound NUTS!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD12 was just invited to trick or treat with a friend. The mom in question is always planning/driving/paying for outings and things, I suspect because she has an only child and wants to make facilitating friendships easy for her child and the other parents? We did invite the girl over to our house quite a bit this summer, but our calendars haven’t aligned much this school year. Just a couple weeks ago the mom took our DD to a haunted hayride, paid for it, drove, etc.

The mom has offered to pick up the kids and take them to a big trunk or treat. I feel like I need to send DD with something, but what? I thought donuts and cider, but DH said that’s weird when they are going to get more sugary candy. Do I need to do anything? If so, what would you suggest?

Ask the mom if you can send sandwiches along so they have some "real" food? Invite mom and daughter for lunch or dinner after the trick or treat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Uh oh - I think this post might be about me. I have an only child (I know, can you believe I couldn't afford IVF more than once? I'm terrible).

I pick up and drive my daughters best friend and her all the time. My daughter also plays volleyball.

Just so you know, my daughter also pays for your kid's lunch daily because you never send it with her. Maybe focus a bit more on that - then a $20 that doesn't nearly cover the expenses I've laid out on yours.

What a jerk you are OP

You sound NUTS!

I thought it was a measured and funny response. Hopefully just a coincidence too, it would bother me to read a post like that about our family.

OP, thanks is enough. If you can’t not give a gift maybe write a not about how grateful you are and that you hope to host the other child soon. Sent the cider and donuts another time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD12 was just invited to trick or treat with a friend. The mom in question is always planning/driving/paying for outings and things, I suspect because she has an only child and wants to make facilitating friendships easy for her child and the other parents? We did invite the girl over to our house quite a bit this summer, but our calendars haven’t aligned much this school year. Just a couple weeks ago the mom took our DD to a haunted hayride, paid for it, drove, etc.

The mom has offered to pick up the kids and take them to a big trunk or treat. I feel like I need to send DD with something, but what? I thought donuts and cider, but DH said that’s weird when they are going to get more sugary candy. Do I need to do anything? If so, what would you suggest?

Ask the mom if you can send sandwiches along so they have some "real" food? Invite mom and daughter for lunch or dinner after the trick or treat?

PERFECTION

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Uh oh - I think this post might be about me. I have an only child (I know, can you believe I couldn't afford IVF more than once? I'm terrible).

I pick up and drive my daughters best friend and her all the time. My daughter also plays volleyball.

Just so you know, my daughter also pays for your kid's lunch daily because you never send it with her. Maybe focus a bit more on that - then a $20 that doesn't nearly cover the expenses I've laid out on yours.

What a jerk you are OP

You sound NUTS!

+1! Most of my friends who are parents of only are always inviting other kids to stuff--and fun stuff, too! I tend to be bad at thinking to do that and also don't find it a necessity because my two close in age kids have fun together. I don't think OP was being judgy at all. It is just a fact that many parents of onlies will openly discuss. Nobody said it is trying too hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Uh oh - I think this post might be about me. I have an only child (I know, can you believe I couldn't afford IVF more than once? I'm terrible).

I pick up and drive my daughters best friend and her all the time. My daughter also plays volleyball.

Just so you know, my daughter also pays for your kid's lunch daily because you never send it with her. Maybe focus a bit more on that - then a $20 that doesn't nearly cover the expenses I've laid out on yours.

What a jerk you are OP

You sound NUTS!

I thought it was a measured and funny response. Hopefully just a coincidence too, it would bother me to read a post like that about our family.

OP, thanks is enough. If you can’t not give a gift maybe write a not about how grateful you are and that you hope to host the other child soon. Sent the cider and donuts another time.

The original post wasn’t offensive or rude at all. PP came in swinging for no reason. This board is strange; parents of only children are so defensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take her child to a holiday event, like one of the places where you drive through a lights display.

This
( mom of an 11yo only who just took a friend with us to the beach this past weekend)
I do take other kids a lot because I want my kid to have someone to play with/interact with other than her parents.
I would still appreciate my kid being taken somewhere though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why being an only child has anything to do with this scenario. OP, you could have left that out.

People look down on those with one child. They think they are superior for having more kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Uh oh - I think this post might be about me. I have an only child (I know, can you believe I couldn't afford IVF more than once? I'm terrible).

I pick up and drive my daughters best friend and her all the time. My daughter also plays volleyball.

Just so you know, my daughter also pays for your kid's lunch daily because you never send it with her. Maybe focus a bit more on that - then a $20 that doesn't nearly cover the expenses I've laid out on yours.

What a jerk you are OP

You sound NUTS!

+1! Most of my friends who are parents of only are always inviting other kids to stuff--and fun stuff, too! I tend to be bad at thinking to do that and also don't find it a necessity because my two close in age kids have fun together. I don't think OP was being judgy at all. It is just a fact that many parents of onlies will openly discuss. Nobody said it is trying too hard.

We have an only. It's the opposite and usually it's the parents of more kids inviting friends to keep the kids from fighting. I enjoy spending time alone with my kid without yours. If you choose to have a kid, then don't complain about costs. I'd never expect anyone to send money or pay for something we choose to invite their child too.

If you don't want to pay for lunch, don't.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it’s only people with one kid who can be like the mom OP is describing. We have three and I sound like the mom in the original post. I love taking my kids to fun things and our family is very high energy and often have other kids in tow. Some people don’t mind and love doing this so don’t worry OP!

[Anonymous]

Invite her child somewhere soon.

I would also have my child send a thank you card in the mail. It’s good practice.

[Anonymous]

Just send with $20.

Chiming in about the “only” piece. I’m a parent of an only and what you explained is EXACTLY what I do and why. I work overtime to foster relationships with my extrovert of a child. I’ll meet up, pick up, plan activities, and even pay for the activity, snacks and food if the parents aren’t present. I chalk it up to the price for having an only.