Signs of your wife having a midlife crisis

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[/b]My mid 40s wife is going out with single friends on a regular basis, [b]and talking about how the kids don't give her that much fulfillment. What are the classic signs of a midlife crisis in women?

You’ve just answered your own question. Why so many single friends, are they divorced? And when you say going out, what do you mean. Dinner and the Barbie movie or sexy outfit and bars? Does she work?

[Anonymous]

I am a 40s woman who had a “mid-life crisis.” It involved questioning most of my life decisions and being worried about not having enough healthy years to achieve my personal goals. Having a supportive spouse helped a lot. Reconnecting with friends also helped a lot - it’s balancing, gives perspective. I’d suggest reading The Happiness Curve for some insight - this is a period many of us will go through at some point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mid 40s wife is going out with single friends on a regular basis, and talking about how the kids don't give her that much fulfillment. What are the classic signs of a midlife crisis in women?

Wtf? This is normal. Kids don’t bring “fulfillment”; that is a lie society tells us to keep having kids. I have kids. I was smart enough to realize this before I had them. She’s just having fun. Give her a break.

[Anonymous]

Yes, she sounds normal. She has realized relationships to men and children don’t always fulfil you. Men have always intuitively understood that. Women sone times figure out they are their own person with their own needs that have nothing to do with you or the kids. It doesn’t mean she will necessarily leave you, you just needs some space to be herself. Give her that freedom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When she decides that your joint credit card does not suit her purposes, and she applies for one that is in her name only.

No woman would ever do that because she'd be solely responsible for the payments.

[Anonymous]

My SIL had a midlife crisis

She found news friends and started going out partying and drinking. She started getting tattoos.

Then she had an affair.

And now she is back to her boring life but with the guilt for the wrecking ball she swung through the family, and she still wants to be young and free before she gets 'old' but given the first go round went so terribly she isn't sure how to do this...

It seemed to be triggered by her 40th birthday in her case. And then the new friends encouraged and validaed and supported her terrible choices and behavior and you ony live once...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not a midlife crisis it’s a “bored being married to you” crisis. Many such cases.

100% this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When she decides that your joint credit card does not suit her purposes, and she applies for one that is in her name only.

No woman would ever do that because she'd be solely responsible for the payments.

Whaaaaaaat??? What are you talking about "No woman would ever do that"??

Every married woman I know has her own credit cards. We had them in our names before we got married, and it's stupid to close an account (better for credit to keep them open). My husband also has a couple cards in his name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When she decides that your joint credit card does not suit her purposes, and she applies for one that is in her name only.

No woman would ever do that because she'd be solely responsible for the payments.

Whaaaaaaat??? What are you talking about "No woman would ever do that"??

Every married woman I know has her own credit cards. We had them in our names before we got married, and it's stupid to close an account (better for credit to keep them open). My husband also has a couple cards in his name.

NP and almost everyone has sole credit cards. It's is extremely rare for banks to issue joint credit cards these days. What many people have is a sole card with an authorized user but the account holder is still the ine responsible for the card.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mid 40s wife is going out with single friends on a regular basis, and talking about how the kids don't give her that much fulfillment. What are the classic signs of a midlife crisis in women?

Please troll better. What husband would notice what his mid-40s wife is doing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When she decides that your joint credit card does not suit her purposes, and she applies for one that is in her name only.

No woman would ever do that because she'd be solely responsible for the payments.

Whaaaaaaat??? What are you talking about "No woman would ever do that"??

Every married woman I know has her own credit cards. We had them in our names before we got married, and it's stupid to close an account (better for credit to keep them open). My husband also has a couple cards in his name.

+2. We still maintain separate bank accounts and cards, along with a joint account and joint cards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a 40s woman who had a “mid-life crisis.” It involved questioning most of my life decisions and being worried about not having enough healthy years to achieve my personal goals. Having a supportive spouse helped a lot. Reconnecting with friends also helped a lot - it’s balancing, gives perspective. I’d suggest reading The Happiness Curve for some insight - this is a period many of us will go through at some point.

+1
OP asked what the signs are - they are questioning your life decisions, just like a man does in a midlife crisis. She might be doing that and realizing that her social life isn't what she needs it to be to be fulfilled. It happened to me. I was actually happy with my family, but payed more attention to my job than my friends (my conclusion). Support her in this. Also, find things you can do together without kids that you used to enjoy. For me, it was mountain biking. I also take more time with my friends - partying is never who I was; but I socialize a ton without my husband and kids - coffee, walks, dinner, we attend functions, theather, sometimes just a glass of wine. It's necessary for happiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a 40s woman who had a “mid-life crisis.” It involved questioning most of my life decisions and being worried about not having enough healthy years to achieve my personal goals. Having a supportive spouse helped a lot. Reconnecting with friends also helped a lot - it’s balancing, gives perspective. I’d suggest reading The Happiness Curve for some insight - this is a period many of us will go through at some point.

+1
OP asked what the signs are - they are questioning your life decisions, just like a man does in a midlife crisis. She might be doing that and realizing that her social life isn't what she needs it to be to be fulfilled. It happened to me. I was actually happy with my family, but payed more attention to my job than my friends (my conclusion). Support her in this. Also, find things you can do together without kids that you used to enjoy. For me, it was mountain biking. I also take more time with my friends - partying is never who I was; but I socialize a ton without my husband and kids - coffee, walks, dinner, we attend functions, theather, sometimes just a glass of wine. It's necessary for happiness.

Sounds like you did a great job navigating this tough time, PP - sending you a virtual high five/hug.

OP, consider that your DW might be spending time with single friends because they’re the ones who are available to get together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds more like an affair with fiends as a cover.

This was my thought too.

Has her therapist told her to “self-actualize?”

Is she losing weight, changing her hair? New hobbies?

If so, it’s likely another man is balls deep in her on the regular, ejaculating into her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mid 40s wife is going out with single friends on a regular basis, and talking about how the kids don't give her that much fulfillment. What are the classic signs of a midlife crisis in women?

Please troll better. What husband would notice what his mid-40s wife is doing?

One who looks around at feral kids and is all WTF