Question on greeting parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's probably because they're not sure how to address you. Tell them "You can call me _____" and they'll feel way less awkward.

They can still say hi or hello.
It’s rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As others have said, you should say hi to them. They’re kids and learning social graces. It takes time! It kind of irritates me when my kids’ friends and my friends’ kids ignore me or grunt out a hello but then I remember being a kid myself. Does no one remember not knowing what to do around adults? I’m sure some of the adults in my life thought I was rude but I was really just awkward and shy. I learned, partially from those adults in my life, that it’s important to have good manners even when the other person doesn’t.

+1, it is petty AF for an adult to be miffed by tweens/teens not initiating a greeting with them. You are the adult, greet them if it is so important to you. If they ignore your greeting then you can rant about them being rude or disrespectful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's probably because they're not sure how to address you. Tell them "You can call me _____" and they'll feel way less awkward.

They can still say hi or hello.
It’s rude.

By that logic you’re also being rude by not greeting them.

[Anonymous]

Middle schoolers are self absorbed and awkward. The chatty kids I knew since they were 6 are quiet. I start the conversation when I pick them up in the carpool. They pleasantly chat for a couple of minutes then I let them be and it’s quiet in the car. My daughter tells me it’s like this in every car now with parents.

You should say hi first.

[Anonymous]

OP here I always greet them when I see them even if I feel they are ignoring. Thank you for those who just assumed that I was rude and never said hello or asked them how their day was.

My DC always say hello or wave.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s on us. Teach your kids that adults are human too. Tell them you expect them to greet people. It’s common courtesy. My kids have been trained in this since 8.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As others have said, you should say hi to them. They’re kids and learning social graces. It takes time! It kind of irritates me when my kids’ friends and my friends’ kids ignore me or grunt out a hello but then I remember being a kid myself. Does no one remember not knowing what to do around adults? I’m sure some of the adults in my life thought I was rude but I was really just awkward and shy. I learned, partially from those adults in my life, that it’s important to have good manners even when the other person doesn’t.

This x1000

I know for a fact at least one friend's mom thought I was horridly behaved, when really I had horrid anxiety and was very shy around adults. Of course, my friend told me that her mom said I was rude and spoiled.... So that was fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here I always greet them when I see them even if I feel they are ignoring. Thank you for those who just assumed that I was rude and never said hello or asked them how their day was.

My DC always say hello or wave.

Some of my kids friend are like this too. I always say hello to them but they either looked like I embarrassed them or they just ignore me. That being said, I make sure I taught my kids how to greet grownups and have called them out when they ignored grownups in front of me. It’s basic manners, being a teen is not an excuse for poor behavior.

[Anonymous]

sounds like you are being rude by not greeting them first.

[Anonymous]

I fail to see how this is a big deal. If it’s just that they are plain rude, then, so? They are 11. They will grow up. It will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They have known me for over 9 years at this point. Maybe just hello would do

I agree. Yet now that my kids are in middle school, many of their friends seem to go to great lengths to pretend they don't have parents. And mine do it too, occasionally, like if I'm walking the dog on the route to school, the kids and I have a great chat for most of the commute but they ask to walk alone the last couple blocks.

If I pass their friends on my way back home, if the friends are alone they generally say "hello" or at least say hi after I say "good morning." But if the friends are in a group of "new" friends who don't know me, several of the kids I've known for years will consistently avert their eyes and pretend they don't see me. I just keep smiling and don't out them as knowing the weird grown up, but it is pretty bizarre.

Friends who come over to our house who I've known for a while generally do greet me when they arrive or when I first see them, thankfully.

Omg!! You’re so lucky that they occasionally speak to you. You must feel so flattered!!

[Anonymous]

I don't stand on ceremony - I have no problem saying hi to them first and asking how they're doing, are they still playing softball, whatever.

[Anonymous]

It's a mixed bag but all respond if I initiate. The quiet ones look down and are brief on answers, one will answer as she turns and walks away fleeing. Some are so chatty I can't get a word in. I know the quiet ones have parents that will push them to talk more but its difficult for them every time. It's better to make them feel comfortable and help them along (be the village). I am often around a ton of middle school kids, they all are going through a lot.