Question on greeting parents

[Anonymous]

My DD's really good friends seldom say hello to me when they see me. I will be standing right in front of them and mostly they will just walk away even after making eye contact. Is that normal. Some are respectful and will smile or wave. She is in 8th grade now but same thing in 7th grade too.

[Anonymous]

It's probably because they're not sure how to address you. Tell them "You can call me _____" and they'll feel way less awkward.

[Anonymous]

Some people are less friendly or more shy than others.

[Anonymous]

They have known me for over 9 years at this point. Maybe just hello would do

[Anonymous]

Do you say hello to them? 🙄

[Anonymous]

Most kids/tweens/teens are awkward around and intimidated by unfamiliar adults. You can’t take it personally.

[Anonymous]

I think it's mostly because they're entirely disinterested in "old people."

[Anonymous]

Ds (now in his 20's) had friends like this. They couldn't get past us fast enough. IMO it's rude to not say hello/hi and just rush past. These seemed to mainly be kids whose parents made themselves scarce.

Mention it to your daughter. Let her know that you would appreciate her friends greeting you politely when they come in, especially when you are right there.

[Anonymous]

Do you say hello?

[Anonymous]

You should say hello and ask they how they are doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They have known me for over 9 years at this point. Maybe just hello would do

I agree. Yet now that my kids are in middle school, many of their friends seem to go to great lengths to pretend they don't have parents. And mine do it too, occasionally, like if I'm walking the dog on the route to school, the kids and I have a great chat for most of the commute but they ask to walk alone the last couple blocks.

If I pass their friends on my way back home, if the friends are alone they generally say "hello" or at least say hi after I say "good morning." But if the friends are in a group of "new" friends who don't know me, several of the kids I've known for years will consistently avert their eyes and pretend they don't see me. I just keep smiling and don't out them as knowing the weird grown up, but it is pretty bizarre.

Friends who come over to our house who I've known for a while generally do greet me when they arrive or when I first see them, thankfully.

[Anonymous]

Some of my tween’s friends say hi and some barely do and yes I find it annoying when they don’t return a greeting politely but they are indeed at a self-absorbed age and I hope will improve with time.

I do think it may be in part due to kids having their own devices and never calling and hearing a parent on the phone. My life when I was a kid was, “Hi, can I please speak to (name of friend)? This is (me.)” it was just that extra bit of practice talking to a parent. Then again, maybe I was just as self-absorbed as some of my kids’ friends without the excuse of less contact!

[Anonymous]

I guess we can blame Covid 🙄 Why can’t you say, “Hi Jennifer, how’s soccer going this year?” Ask a question and see how they answer.

[Anonymous]

It can require effort to engage with this age group.

I regularly see my shy-ish 13y.o. at school and also attend his meets and games. He talks to the adults who engage with him. Does a quick wave or small smile while walking by others he knows but doesn’t have established basic rapport with.

A cheery “hey, Kid! [mentions thing that is genuinely interesting to them both or asks a question]” is a greeting that I’ve never seen him (or any other kid) pass up. These are also the people he’ll actually approach to initiate conversation.

How are you engaging with the kids at your house? Are you easy and natural with them?

[Anonymous]

As others have said, you should say hi to them. They’re kids and learning social graces. It takes time! It kind of irritates me when my kids’ friends and my friends’ kids ignore me or grunt out a hello but then I remember being a kid myself. Does no one remember not knowing what to do around adults? I’m sure some of the adults in my life thought I was rude but I was really just awkward and shy. I learned, partially from those adults in my life, that it’s important to have good manners even when the other person doesn’t.