Men, when do you feel comfortable in a relationship?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something changes once you start living together. It's just a different dynamic going from only seeing someone on dates to sharing a living space.

That's what I'm worried about. So is never living together the answer?

Live together and it's only a matter of time before you take each other for granted and think the other person is out of options because it's too hard for them to date someone else.

Can you share what you mean by taking them for granted? Some examples?

[Anonymous]

Once you have kids marriage can become a routine centered around the children and routines can make you lazy. You need to periodically break the routines to remind yourselves why you got married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once you have kids marriage can become a routine centered around the children and routines can make you lazy. You need to periodically break the routines to remind yourselves why you got married.

NP and I see what you're saying but I think it's hard to call someone lazy when they're grinding it out with kids. There's just very little time that isn't spent getting kids ready, making meals, cleaning up after them, working and repeating the same thing day after day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something changes once you start living together. It's just a different dynamic going from only seeing someone on dates to sharing a living space.

That's what I'm worried about. So is never living together the answer?

Live together and it's only a matter of time before you take each other for granted and think the other person is out of options because it's too hard for them to date someone else.

Can you share what you mean by taking them for granted? Some examples?

I'm wondering too. Also if marriage is more or less transactional how the heck do both people not get bored or anticipate looking for other people?

[Anonymous]

After I've slept over at her place a couple of times. If I don't feel comfortable by then I am moving on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After I've slept over at her place a couple of times. If I don't feel comfortable by then I am moving on.

What if she lives with mom or dad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once you have kids marriage can become a routine centered around the children and routines can make you lazy. You need to periodically break the routines to remind yourselves why you got married.

NP and I see what you're saying but I think it's hard to call someone lazy when they're grinding it out with kids. There's just very little time that isn't spent getting kids ready, making meals, cleaning up after them, working and repeating the same thing day after day.

You get lazy in your relationship, not with your life.

[Anonymous]

I knew my wife for quite some time before we got together as romantic partners. I was very comfortable after our first date. It helped that the sex was both a surprise and great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I knew my wife for quite some time before we got together as romantic partners. I was very comfortable after our first date. It helped that the sex was both a surprise and great.

How was it a surprise? was it on the first date?