tell me about your child who left college in the first year

[Anonymous]

I got kicked out after my first semester (I partied and I was a troublemaker) - I now have an advanced degree and a stable career in healthcare. My boss - a VP - also got kicked out his first year!

There is hope for your son.

[Anonymous]

He might need a smaller school with a faculty advisor and more face time and hand holding. What is his major? Maybe there are some smaller less prestigious (this is fine!) local schools we can recommend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:hello. ds is having a very hard time at college. he is about four hours away from home. his difficulties seems to be combination of rigor of the academics and having to live on his own. even though college is not full-fledged "adulting," taking care of himself while also taking classes seems to be overwhelming him. we are looking into all kinds of supports and adjustments so that he can be successful. thankfully, his issues are not social. he has made friends and he likes the overall atmosphere of the school.

but even after we do make some supportive changes, it may not be enough. this kind of college may not be right for him at this time.

i'd be interested in hearing how things went for your child who left their residential college and returned home.

did they work full-time? did they go to community college? did they live at home? did they opt to leave themselves or were they more or less forced to because of academic probation?

any and all insights about what to expect if this unfolds for us would be helpful.

It's VERY common for kids to struggle as they adjust to college. A significant positive is that the social stuff is going well, which means he's well-adjusted. You are clearly taking all the proper steps, and perhaps that will help him acclimate. It would not be unusual or the end of the world if he came home. Happens all the time. Sometimes, the school is just not the right fit. Sometimes, teenagers just need a little more time to acclimate. A close friend's kid quit university in his first year. My friend was initially devastated. Her son was a high-achieving kid in high school, so it was all rather a shock, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. He came home and began studying at a community college while working part-time. He took a wide range of classes and improved his study skills as he matured. He transferred to a good public university to finish his final two years and graduated a couple of years later than planned. Still, he gained valuable life experience and is now doing very well for himself. Another bright kid we know flunked out of college in second year. It just wasn't right for him at that time. He trained as an airplane mechanic, loved it, and started his own aviation company in his mid-20s. He's now happily married and very successful. One of my kids also struggled academically in her first year. She did way too much partying and fell out of love with her planned major. In her second year, she shaped up, grew up, reduced her partying, and changed her major, getting straight A's in her last three years. Perhaps every student should have a trial year of college before starting "real college." I hope everything works out for the best for you and your son. I know how challenging these situations can be for a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got kicked out after my first semester (I partied and I was a troublemaker) - I now have an advanced degree and a stable career in healthcare. My boss - a VP - also got kicked out his first year!

There is hope for your son.

I love this! Made me smile