Skin color qestion for east asian parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:21:57, just curious...I thought the Spanish invasion of the Philippines lightened up the natives, thus creating the mestizos who were fairer, being mixed with the European blood of Spain. I am mestiza Filipina, and it seems my family with more native features are darker than the ones with Spanish blood. My two DCs are one quarter Filipino, but one looks very Asian and the other looks completely European.

Spaniards (in Spain) are white/very fair skinned. The further north you go, the taller their height and lighter their skin, than in southern Spain, where they're shorter, darker, & hairier. There's a misconception in the US that Central Americans are Spanish. They speak Spanish but are latino, a mixture of the indigenous Indians, Spaniards, & other ethnic groups.

In Europe, the Spaniards are considered dark.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's golden-looks sort of tan all year round. Some asians have light skin, however since the Phillipines was invaded by the Spanish for many years, they have darker skin because of the mix. People are always trying to figure out my son, he doesn't look asian, unless he's with his daddy, then you can see the similarities, and he has some of my features...but has asian hair. Lets put it this way, he's not "fair".

Of course, I'm biased because I'm his mommy-but he is awful cute! I could look at him all day long

I don't want to hijack this thread, but don't you mean to say that because the Spanish invaded for many years, they have lighter not darker skin? Knowing many, many Filipinos (I work in a hospital with many doctors and nurses) and in love with a Filipino man, I can say their hues do range from dark to very light, especially the beautiful mixes who are often only vaguely if at all "Asian" looking, that this thread has touched on. Wouldn't the latter be "fair".

Anyway, I don't mean to be nitpicky, I"m just curious. Thanks for posting.

[Anonymous]

4:39-you made an interesting observation-my husbands family are all short! The men are not taller than 5.7-my husband is the tallest one, stands out like a sore thumb, because he's 6ft. I think he's tall because somewhere is his mother's family, there was some northern Chinese (tall). There's also some Portuguese in the family. Out of all the Filipinos I know, most are "olive" complected, however, some are lighter. I guess it would all depend on where the northern vs. southern Spaniards settled in the Phillipines!

My son has a beautiful skin tone-and I love husband (but not this morning), because of who he is, not his skin color.

[Anonymous]

PP from a page ago -- love the makeup counter idea!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP from a page ago -- love the makeup counter idea!

Thank you. It was fun. We still do it. Just at CVS with the samples. But now that my daughter is five I think I may take her to the real counter with me. Also, to the poster who asked if kids know what color Olive is....
They don't until you teach it to them. Just like red, yellow and blue. But it's amazing how fast it will become a color in their vocabulary. Fushia was talked introduced on the fly and now it's noticed everywhere Also, Crayola makes skin tone markers. They are great.

[Anonymous]

This is an impossibly complicated one to answer on this forum, I know, but I would love to hear at least some brief thoughts, so here goes . . .

Our children are bi-racial -- white and Asian. But they look white. Their skin color is white. The precise answer to the question "what is your skin color" has to be "white." To say anything else would simply be an inaccurate answer. But is it harmful to the child's self image for him/her to refer to his/her skin color as simply "white." As our children grapple with developing their own self image, doesn't suggesting to them that they are "white skinned" necessarily affect this development, weighing heavily in favor of the white parent. Moreover, would he/she be somehow perceived to be masking, for whatever reason, their actual ethnic makeup by referring to themselves as "white"? While the Asian half of this parent team has no strong feelings on the matter, isn't it somehow suggesting a discarding or a disrespecting of that person's cultural, ethnic history to refer only to "white skin."

What a complicated world we live in. Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is an impossibly complicated one to answer on this forum, I know, but I would love to hear at least some brief thoughts, so here goes . . .

Our children are bi-racial -- white and Asian. But they look white. Their skin color is white. The precise answer to the question "what is your skin color" has to be "white." To say anything else would simply be an inaccurate answer. But is it harmful to the child's self image for him/her to refer to his/her skin color as simply "white." As our children grapple with developing their own self image, doesn't suggesting to them that they are "white skinned" necessarily affect this development, weighing heavily in favor of the white parent. Moreover, would he/she be somehow perceived to be masking, for whatever reason, their actual ethnic makeup by referring to themselves as "white"? While the Asian half of this parent team has no strong feelings on the matter, isn't it somehow suggesting a discarding or a disrespecting of that person's cultural, ethnic history to refer only to "white skin."

What a complicated world we live in. Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated.

I ponder the same questions myself (ethnic mom of a bi-racial child who looks white like her dad) and don't have any advice. Does white skin ="white" culture, though? Probably not, at least in the abstract, but like you said, it's complicated. I suppose that for now I'm happy to just expose her to both of our families and cultures, and leave the hard stuff for a later day. She's only 16 mos so I think I have some time to get my thoughts together.

I do know that there have been a couple of recent (past 6 mos?) threads on DCUM that touched on parenting bi-racial/bi-cultural children in which posters recommended books and perhaps other resources. I've been meaning to look them up but just haven't taken the time yet.

Here's hoping that in another couple of generations these issues won't exist anymore . . .

[Anonymous]

I'm in the same boat. I am mixed. So is my husband, but with a different mixture. My children have so much in them that they are not any ONE ethnicity. AND we are each a different "color". So at our house the color of skin is just the color of skin, like the color of hair or the color of your dress. We always talk about where Grandma was born or where Mommy was born. As well, as the different languages we all speak. We talk about it all as just fact -- it is just what it is.

[Anonymous]

I'm half Flip half Euro - I'm white in the winter and brown in the summer...and in between in the spring/fall.

[jsteele]

Our older son is now seven and has never considered "white" or "black" to be skin colors. He calls himself "peach" and has several "brown" friends. When I first encountered him doing this, I wasn't sure how to react. After asking black friends if they would be insulted if my son described them as "brown" -- and being assured that they wouldn't be -- we have adopted this habit for our entire family. Skin color is treated no differently than hair color (or the color of the shirt you might be wearing for that matter). This might be one solution for those posters above with "white" children since it separates the cultural ramifications from skin color.

The idea of comparing skin color to samples at the makeup counter is fantastic. We have been mostly relying on crayons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is an impossibly complicated one to answer on this forum, I know, but I would love to hear at least some brief thoughts, so here goes . . .

Our children are bi-racial -- white and Asian. But they look white. Their skin color is white. The precise answer to the question "what is your skin color" has to be "white." To say anything else would simply be an inaccurate answer. But is it harmful to the child's self image for him/her to refer to his/her skin color as simply "white." As our children grapple with developing their own self image, doesn't suggesting to them that they are "white skinned" necessarily affect this development, weighing heavily in favor of the white parent. Moreover, would he/she be somehow perceived to be masking, for whatever reason, their actual ethnic makeup by referring to themselves as "white"? While the Asian half of this parent team has no strong feelings on the matter, isn't it somehow suggesting a discarding or a disrespecting of that person's cultural, ethnic history to refer only to "white skin."

What a complicated world we live in. Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated.

I ponder the same questions myself (ethnic mom of a bi-racial child who looks white like her dad) and don't have any advice. Does white skin ="white" culture, though? Probably not, at least in the abstract, but like you said, it's complicated. I suppose that for now I'm happy to just expose her to both of our families and cultures, and leave the hard stuff for a later day. She's only 16 mos so I think I have some time to get my thoughts together.

I do know that there have been a couple of recent (past 6 mos?) threads on DCUM that touched on parenting bi-racial/bi-cultural children in which posters recommended books and perhaps other resources. I've been meaning to look them up but just haven't taken the time yet.

Here's hoping that in another couple of generations these issues won't exist anymore . . .

This is why we tell our children that they are flesh toned. They understand there are different shades of flesh-tone, but that it ranges from light to dark. I really don't want to make race an issue for them, especially now. They are half white, half Korean, have Asian features, hazel eyes, brown hair, and fair skin. They don't really "look" white, and I don't feel comfortable putting that label on them.

[Anonymous]

Actually, I think may be a good thing that they are talking about this. I'm half asian and half black and all through elementary school, I thought I was black and white. Those where the only skin colors then (in the early 80s). In fact, I thought my mother was white. I knew she was ethnically asian, but because everything was black and white then, I knew she definitely wasn't black. I think it's a good way of getting the little ones accustomed to the fact that people come in all kinds of shades and colors (sizes, weights, etc) and the world isn't just black and white.

[Anonymous]

My children are also biracial.
It has always been interesting to me how the non-white arm of the family sees biracial kids as white, while the white family members see them as brown. It has to do with perspective.
In Latin America the term blond can really be brown hair. In Scandinavia, anyone with brown eyes is considered dark, regardless of race.

[Anonymous]

I'm sure my son's friends will ask him why his mommy and daddy look so different. I haven't really put too much thought into it yet-but it's something to think about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is an impossibly complicated one to answer on this forum, I know, but I would love to hear at least some brief thoughts, so here goes . . .

Our children are bi-racial -- white and Asian. But they look white. Their skin color is white. The precise answer to the question "what is your skin color" has to be "white." To say anything else would simply be an inaccurate answer. But is it harmful to the child's self image for him/her to refer to his/her skin color as simply "white." As our children grapple with developing their own self image, doesn't suggesting to them that they are "white skinned" necessarily affect this development, weighing heavily in favor of the white parent. Moreover, would he/she be somehow perceived to be masking, for whatever reason, their actual ethnic makeup by referring to themselves as "white"? While the Asian half of this parent team has no strong feelings on the matter, isn't it somehow suggesting a discarding or a disrespecting of that person's cultural, ethnic history to refer only to "white skin."

What a complicated world we live in. Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated.

It seems attributing a color to a person is very much a (superficial) label. It does not reflect the culture of the people. Culture reflects habits, thoughts, ways of doing things - they can be of the same culture even if they look very different. I've traveled and lived abroad on several occasions and based on my experience, I think in the US people are too color-focused. In other countries from Western Europe to West Africa to Central Asia, the cultures are very rooted and steeped in traditions of 1000s of years. Skin-tone is not at the forefront of people's mind.

Brazil also has a very multi-ethnic demographic (European, African, Asian, Indigenous Indians). Does anyone know if they are also color conscious?