Why do I feel so bad even though I own my decision?

[Anonymous]

I'm the same way. There is no way I can do that sort of phone call, so I won't, but I still feel bad.

Send more pics and email updates to assuage the guilt, OP. If she asks, say that telephone conversations really don't work for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:TBH, I think you should feel awful as should your husband.

Because his grandfather died, this woman means nothing to you guys? I understand setting boundaries but honestly, ppl on this board all the time say treat your stepkids like your own, don't diminish extended/blended families, etc. but then do stuff like this.

You feel guilty because the behavior is hurtful. You're not obligated to talk to her for hours. You can show compassion and check in on her, limit talks and actually follow through with your promises - if DH says there will be a dinner - there should be a dinner.

Or...OR...tell her you're not interested in maintaining a relationship with her now that her husband died and she means nothing to your family.

They got married later in life. To be honest, OP is going above and beyond remaining in touch with her. Lay off with the guilt trips.

Above and beyond? Beyond what exactly? By talking to an old lady occasionally? You can't even be decent people to those you know - but want to be helpful and altruistic to strangers - it's really bizarre this society. Limit the calls - set timers - or just be honest with ppl. Say you don't have time - say you can only talk a few minutes or say you don't want to do the calls - but being passive aggressive and complaining about how much you hate something so small as to be kind to someone who was once part of your family and who was kind to you and your child is hand-wringing over nothing. I really hope that you get treated in kind by those around you. Have the day you deserve.

This is an unhinged response.

[Anonymous]

Hand the phone to your kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:TBH, I think you should feel awful as should your husband.

Because his grandfather died, this woman means nothing to you guys? I understand setting boundaries but honestly, ppl on this board all the time say treat your stepkids like your own, don't diminish extended/blended families, etc. but then do stuff like this.

You feel guilty because the behavior is hurtful. You're not obligated to talk to her for hours. You can show compassion and check in on her, limit talks and actually follow through with your promises - if DH says there will be a dinner - there should be a dinner.

Or...OR...tell her you're not interested in maintaining a relationship with her now that her husband died and she means nothing to your family.

They got married later in life. To be honest, OP is going above and beyond remaining in touch with her. Lay off with the guilt trips.

Above and beyond? Beyond what exactly? By talking to an old lady occasionally? You can't even be decent people to those you know - but want to be helpful and altruistic to strangers - it's really bizarre this society. Limit the calls - set timers - or just be honest with ppl. Say you don't have time - say you can only talk a few minutes or say you don't want to do the calls - but being passive aggressive and complaining about how much you hate something so small as to be kind to someone who was once part of your family and who was kind to you and your child is hand-wringing over nothing. I really hope that you get treated in kind by those around you. Have the day you deserve.

This is an unhinged response.

NP. No. it’s a mature response from someone who has an ounce of compassion.