Could I have done anything differently/better?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in a starbucks early one morning recently -- still in jogging clothes and crazy hair -- and turned around to look behind me and a phone was in my face. The woman behind me was facetiming so just holding her phone out but I joked, oh good, you're not taking a photo of me looking like this. It was supposed to be a friendly little early morning banter. SHE WENT OFF. "Why the F*CK would I want a photo of YOU?!?!" etc. I was shaken for awhile but eventually came around to .. I'm good, she wasn't.

I tell this story so you don't feel alone and you remember "I'm good, she wasn't"

I’m the type of person to banter like this too…. I feel like a dick when someone doesn’t get it or doesn’t do it back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When people are rude and disrespectful to you, SERVE IT RIGHT BACK TO THEM and they will back off.

People like that theater-beotch that confronted you are used to bossing people around and people taking it. When you SERVE IT RIGHT BACK it catches them off guard and they move on like sick puppies, and will think twice before trying that shite again.

Actually no, it reinforces in their brain that they were right and you were the one being rude. Much better to take the high road (as usual). That’s what actually disarms people when they don’t get the confrontation they’re seeking. Either way I would not let someone drag me to their level.

[Anonymous]

You don’t owe people like that an explanation, just say, “what are you talking about?” And if they persist, “are you okay?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, get help for your anxiety, but that woman was rude and ridiculous.

+1 OP, you did nothing wrong

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have ignored her 100%---like let her keep talking to herself and don't give her the time of day. Don't respond and let people think she's crazy and must be talking to herself because there's no reason why she could possibly be talking to you. I'd have struck up a conversation with my kid about how excited we are to dive into the hot popcorn and see previews for upcoming movies etc. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in a starbucks early one morning recently -- still in jogging clothes and crazy hair -- and turned around to look behind me and a phone was in my face. The woman behind me was facetiming so just holding her phone out but I joked, oh good, you're not taking a photo of me looking like this. It was supposed to be a friendly little early morning banter. SHE WENT OFF. "Why the F*CK would I want a photo of YOU?!?!" etc. I was shaken for awhile but eventually came around to .. I'm good, she wasn't.

I tell this story so you don't feel alone and you remember "I'm good, she wasn't"

I’m the type of person to banter like this too…. I feel like a dick when someone doesn’t get it or doesn’t do it back.

Totally agree w both of you. Some people are just super-duper special. I'd have gestured behind me to the whole line and said 'tell it to them- they might care'.

My only feedback is to work on your face- you seem very self-aware of things you may have been doing, which is hugely helpful in this world. And when you were polite when engaged, this monster should have accepted that, shut up and continued on with her clueless brood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You had a panic attack while waiting in line, and someone attacked you because of the expression on your face. Because you felt so bad, you could not explain or defend yourself.

My sympathies, OP, both as a panic attack sufferer and someone who had this done to them: someone thought I'd hit a deer and shouted at me, when I hadn't: the dead deer was on my lane and I had to stop and wait to go around. It was dusk and I saw the corpse at the last second, and I was so shaken that I couldn't explain amid the honking cars and people veering round me.

Anyway. Take the time to relax and shake it off. The person who verbally abused you is very much in the wrong. I bet you are respected and appreciated by many people. These angry folks? Probably no one likes them.

DP and I don’t believe you had an anxiety attack or even need help for anxiety at this point.

You just overwhelmed at the moment bc the situation is new and yeah you had anxiety at the moment.

Your answer was perfect. That mom who yelled at you - she needs help for her anxiety for sure bc an everyday situation caused her anxiety bc she felt like abe was being judged by extension of her kids. Now that is real anxiety and doesn’t happen bc of one situation.

[Anonymous]

Maybe that mom will see this and understand what was going on. I bet SHE was flustered that her group was taking so long and then felt judged even though nobody was judging her.

We are all carrying around our insecurities and it's creating so many miscommunications.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry you were treated rudely. People are truly unhinged. I know how stressful it is to have a kid with issues and to lose someone unexpectedly. Sending hugs to you. Take care of yourself Op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When people are rude and disrespectful to you, SERVE IT RIGHT BACK TO THEM and they will back off.

People like that theater-beotch that confronted you are used to bossing people around and people taking it. When you SERVE IT RIGHT BACK it catches them off guard and they move on like sick puppies, and will think twice before trying that shite again.

Please don’t take this advice. People are getting hurt/killed over petty drama. You did great Op.

[Anonymous]

This woman was absolutely rude to you OP.

She should have just said nothing to you.

You didn’t owe her any form of explanation whatsoever.

[Anonymous]

The woman was wrong and likely has untreated anxiety as well. That was a totally weird an inappropriate response from her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The woman was an absolute jerk and what you said was reasonable. Your anxiety is what needs addressing OP, this is really affecting your quality of life in a bad way.

100 percent this. So what if you had been getting impatient. Feeling impatient is not rude. You did not do or say anything to the kids buying food. My guess is that the mom was embarrassed that the girls were taking so long and a line was building, so she put her emotions on you. She was completely in the wrong.

There is really not much you can do to appease an irrational person. What you said was fine.

I hope you still enjoyed the movie!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The woman was wrong.

Having said that, if you have a kid with allergies and it’s new to you both why not skip the concession stand and smuggle snacks in that you know she can eat?

Because she wanted popcorn and I triple-check and she can have it. She wanted a box of candy and I triple-checked and she can have it. I’m doing my best to support her doing everything she can do (which is a lot!) We both need to learn to live with it by being informed and doing what we can do. I did research, made a plan, and then struggled during execution. I’m more than happy to contact my doctor on Monday. I think that’s doing the best I can.

-OP

Good for you. It took a lot of practice for us to feel safe navigating the world with my child’s allergies. It would have been more convenient to feed her the same 10 things from home all the time but a lot less fun for all of us. I just want to say this to reinforce that you can do things like this safely. You did great.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I just wanted to thank everyone for saying such kind and supportive things. This all looks really different in the light of a new day!