Could I have done anything differently/better?

[Anonymous]

I took my youngest to the movies today, just her and me. She’s recently been diagnosed with food allergies requiring an epi-pen. I did my due diligence and intellectually felt confident with what I was going to order at the concession stand.

In line, I started to have major panic—I was sweating, breathing hard, feeling dizzy, but trying just to act normal for her. I was behind a group of teenage girls who were with a mom and a younger kid. The teens were individually paying with cash, and not leaving the line when they were done…as a result, the line behind me was getting a little impatient because it was taking longer than other lines were. I didn’t mind that, but I was dealing with my anxiety and trying not to let my kid see me feeling panicky. I suppose I was shuffling a bit, breathing hard, and probably looked very worried.

Out of nowhere, the mom (who had stepped off to the side with her little kid) got in my face and said, “These girls have done NOTHING wrong.” And I said, “Of course not, I haven’t done or said anything to them.” She said, “You didn’t HAVE to say ANYTHING, your FACE says it ALL.” I said a little shaky, “I’ve got things going on that may be on my face, but it has nothing to do with them. I haven’t said anything to anyone.” And she continued to say “You’re taking the wait out on them” and things like that.

I do realize to an outsider I may have looked worried or frustrated, and that could be interpreted as being impatient, but truly, I hadn’t given those girls a thought. I have no idea what I could have said or done better than to just internally deal with my panic. My face was just being my face, you know? Any thoughts on what I could have done?

[Anonymous]

The woman was an absolute jerk and what you said was reasonable. Your anxiety is what needs addressing OP, this is really affecting your quality of life in a bad way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The woman was an absolute jerk and what you said was reasonable. Your anxiety is what needs addressing OP, this is really affecting your quality of life in a bad way.

Thank you for the reassurance.

I get that clearly I need some help, but this diagnosis is new, I don’t have a history of anxiety or panic attacks, and this truly felt like it came out of nowhere. I had a co-worker die unexpectedly a few weeks ago, so this is probably also a delayed manifestation of that. I’m more than willing to talk to my doctor next week and to get on board with whatever therapy or medication plan she recommends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The woman was an absolute jerk and what you said was reasonable. Your anxiety is what needs addressing OP, this is really affecting your quality of life in a bad way.

Thank you for the reassurance.

I get that clearly I need some help, but this diagnosis is new, I don’t have a history of anxiety or panic attacks, and this truly felt like it came out of nowhere. I had a co-worker die unexpectedly a few weeks ago, so this is probably also a delayed manifestation of that. I’m more than willing to talk to my doctor next week and to get on board with whatever therapy or medication plan she recommends.

(To be clear, I mean “this diagnosis” in reference to my daughter’s allergy, not my anxiety.)

[Anonymous]

Yes, get help for your anxiety, but that woman was rude and ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

The woman was wrong.

Having said that, if you have a kid with allergies and it’s new to you both why not skip the concession stand and smuggle snacks in that you know she can eat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The woman was wrong.

Having said that, if you have a kid with allergies and it’s new to you both why not skip the concession stand and smuggle snacks in that you know she can eat?

Because she wanted popcorn and I triple-check and she can have it. She wanted a box of candy and I triple-checked and she can have it. I’m doing my best to support her doing everything she can do (which is a lot!) We both need to learn to live with it by being informed and doing what we can do. I did research, made a plan, and then struggled during execution. I’m more than happy to contact my doctor on Monday. I think that’s doing the best I can.

-OP

[Anonymous]

You had a panic attack while waiting in line, and someone attacked you because of the expression on your face. Because you felt so bad, you could not explain or defend yourself.

My sympathies, OP, both as a panic attack sufferer and someone who had this done to them: someone thought I'd hit a deer and shouted at me, when I hadn't: the dead deer was on my lane and I had to stop and wait to go around. It was dusk and I saw the corpse at the last second, and I was so shaken that I couldn't explain amid the honking cars and people veering round me.

Anyway. Take the time to relax and shake it off. The person who verbally abused you is very much in the wrong. I bet you are respected and appreciated by many people. These angry folks? Probably no one likes them.

[Anonymous]

^ and to answer your question, next time say: "I am not feeling well, I don't know what you're talking about."

[Anonymous]

What a jerk!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You had a panic attack while waiting in line, and someone attacked you because of the expression on your face. Because you felt so bad, you could not explain or defend yourself.

My sympathies, OP, both as a panic attack sufferer and someone who had this done to them: someone thought I'd hit a deer and shouted at me, when I hadn't: the dead deer was on my lane and I had to stop and wait to go around. It was dusk and I saw the corpse at the last second, and I was so shaken that I couldn't explain amid the honking cars and people veering round me.

Anyway. Take the time to relax and shake it off. The person who verbally abused you is very much in the wrong. I bet you are respected and appreciated by many people. These angry folks? Probably no one likes them.

Thank you so much. I really appreciate this. I feel I had a “deer in headlights” moment, but what you describe is so scary and truly…deer in headlights! I’m sorry that happened to you. -OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The woman was wrong.

Having said that, if you have a kid with allergies and it’s new to you both why not skip the concession stand and smuggle snacks in that you know she can eat?

Because she wanted popcorn and I triple-check and she can have it. She wanted a box of candy and I triple-checked and she can have it. I’m doing my best to support her doing everything she can do (which is a lot!) We both need to learn to live with it by being informed and doing what we can do. I did research, made a plan, and then struggled during execution. I’m more than happy to contact my doctor on Monday. I think that’s doing the best I can.

-OP

Good for you. I think it is great that you faced your fears because they just get bigger if you don’t. This woman was just rude to you today and you are entitled to feel your feelings in public. Frankly, even if you had been annoyed at those kids you are still entitled to your feelings as long as you’re not saying/doing something. So this person was rude either way. I a, actually impressed with your response because a lot of people would have snapped on her. Haha.

Good luck with everything, there is a lot you can do for panic and anxiety so just hang in there!!

[Anonymous]

I was in a starbucks early one morning recently -- still in jogging clothes and crazy hair -- and turned around to look behind me and a phone was in my face. The woman behind me was facetiming so just holding her phone out but I joked, oh good, you're not taking a photo of me looking like this. It was supposed to be a friendly little early morning banter. SHE WENT OFF. "Why the F*CK would I want a photo of YOU?!?!" etc. I was shaken for awhile but eventually came around to .. I'm good, she wasn't.

I tell this story so you don't feel alone and you remember "I'm good, she wasn't"

[Anonymous]

When people are rude and disrespectful to you, SERVE IT RIGHT BACK TO THEM and they will back off.

People like that theater-beotch that confronted you are used to bossing people around and people taking it. When you SERVE IT RIGHT BACK it catches them off guard and they move on like sick puppies, and will think twice before trying that shite again.

[Anonymous]

I would have ignored her 100%---like let her keep talking to herself and don't give her the time of day. Don't respond and let people think she's crazy and must be talking to herself because there's no reason why she could possibly be talking to you. I'd have struck up a conversation with my kid about how excited we are to dive into the hot popcorn and see previews for upcoming movies etc. Ignore, ignore, ignore.