Be Nice to Refs This Weekend

[Anonymous]

SoccerRef wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a referee shortage because of parents

I'm a referee and I appreciate this thread. Thank you. However, and just as an FYI, although many parents/coaches/players are crazy, what makes me sick of reffing more than anything is the lack of professionalism of some of the other referees. We are supposed to be there 30 minutes prior...we check goals, flags, field conditions, check in players, etc. Some referees want to show up 10 minutes before kick off. Then they show up dressed like a slob. untucked shirts, socks down or wrong socks, won't buy a 2nd or 3rd colored jersey, etc etc., their lack of knowledge of the rules, their lack of fitness, lack of effort to follow the play, and things like this.

Someone brought up how would you like people at work to yell at you when you make a mistake at work...Great point, but how would you like to go to work/side hustle and have to work with one or two people of a team of 3) who don't give a S, they don't know what they are doing, they are unprepared, usually late, and you get lumped in with them because they are on your team. You wouldn't last long would you?

So to all the referees out there from a fellow referee...get your S together and I bet less parents/coaches/players would yell at us.

As a long-time ref, and former assesor, I completely understand how frustrating it is to work with an unprofessional ref, or to watch one officiating your kids. I have a son playing as well, and I often have to bite my tongue when a ref isn't doing their job.

With that said, the thought that a rise in referee prosessionalism would do anything to combat the rising abuse is laughable.

You could have FIFA officials working games, and they'd still have to deal with the exact stuff that we do.

Being the best ref in the world isn't going to stop the parent from screaming about missed offside calls on throw ins.
Being the best ref in the world isn't going to stop a coach from cursing my son in a foreign language.
And that's just from this weekend.

Look, I'm not going to dive too deep in the causes of abuse, and why it's on the rise....that's a whole other topic...but it's not going to go away until parents, coaches, and the leagues themselves decide it's going to go away.

If you want to shut up the crazy parents and coaches be free with cards. As a parent who gets sick of hearing refs get shouted at, I just with the refs would be clear that coaches are responsible for controlling their parents

[Anonymous]

SoccerRef wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a referee shortage because of parents

I'm a referee and I appreciate this thread. Thank you. However, and just as an FYI, although many parents/coaches/players are crazy, what makes me sick of reffing more than anything is the lack of professionalism of some of the other referees. We are supposed to be there 30 minutes prior...we check goals, flags, field conditions, check in players, etc. Some referees want to show up 10 minutes before kick off. Then they show up dressed like a slob. untucked shirts, socks down or wrong socks, won't buy a 2nd or 3rd colored jersey, etc etc., their lack of knowledge of the rules, their lack of fitness, lack of effort to follow the play, and things like this.

Someone brought up how would you like people at work to yell at you when you make a mistake at work...Great point, but how would you like to go to work/side hustle and have to work with one or two people of a team of 3) who don't give a S, they don't know what they are doing, they are unprepared, usually late, and you get lumped in with them because they are on your team. You wouldn't last long would you?

So to all the referees out there from a fellow referee...get your S together and I bet less parents/coaches/players would yell at us.

As a long-time ref, and former assesor, I completely understand how frustrating it is to work with an unprofessional ref, or to watch one officiating your kids. I have a son playing as well, and I often have to bite my tongue when a ref isn't doing their job.

With that said, the thought that a rise in referee prosessionalism would do anything to combat the rising abuse is laughable.

You could have FIFA officials working games, and they'd still have to deal with the exact stuff that we do.

Being the best ref in the world isn't going to stop the parent from screaming about missed offside calls on throw ins.
Being the best ref in the world isn't going to stop a coach from cursing my son in a foreign language.
And that's just from this weekend.

Look, I'm not going to dive too deep in the causes of abuse, and why it's on the rise....that's a whole other topic...but it's not going to go away until parents, coaches, and the leagues themselves decide it's going to go away.

The lack of professionalism pisses me off as a referee and makes me reconsider continuing to ref...in addition to other things. If referees were better at knowing the laws, if centers were better at covering the field to sell tough calls and make the right call, ARs staying with the 2nd to last defender. ARs getting to the goal line, etc. These things would definitely help "match control". If you ref games where this stuff doesn't get the coaches and parents riled up, please share the clubs playing in those matches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

SoccerRef wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a referee shortage because of parents

I'm a referee and I appreciate this thread. Thank you. However, and just as an FYI, although many parents/coaches/players are crazy, what makes me sick of reffing more than anything is the lack of professionalism of some of the other referees. We are supposed to be there 30 minutes prior...we check goals, flags, field conditions, check in players, etc. Some referees want to show up 10 minutes before kick off. Then they show up dressed like a slob. untucked shirts, socks down or wrong socks, won't buy a 2nd or 3rd colored jersey, etc etc., their lack of knowledge of the rules, their lack of fitness, lack of effort to follow the play, and things like this.

Someone brought up how would you like people at work to yell at you when you make a mistake at work...Great point, but how would you like to go to work/side hustle and have to work with one or two people of a team of 3) who don't give a S, they don't know what they are doing, they are unprepared, usually late, and you get lumped in with them because they are on your team. You wouldn't last long would you?

So to all the referees out there from a fellow referee...get your S together and I bet less parents/coaches/players would yell at us.

As a long-time ref, and former assesor, I completely understand how frustrating it is to work with an unprofessional ref, or to watch one officiating your kids. I have a son playing as well, and I often have to bite my tongue when a ref isn't doing their job.

With that said, the thought that a rise in referee prosessionalism would do anything to combat the rising abuse is laughable.

You could have FIFA officials working games, and they'd still have to deal with the exact stuff that we do.

Being the best ref in the world isn't going to stop the parent from screaming about missed offside calls on throw ins.
Being the best ref in the world isn't going to stop a coach from cursing my son in a foreign language.
And that's just from this weekend.

Look, I'm not going to dive too deep in the causes of abuse, and why it's on the rise....that's a whole other topic...but it's not going to go away until parents, coaches, and the leagues themselves decide it's going to go away.

The lack of professionalism pisses me off as a referee and makes me reconsider continuing to ref...in addition to other things. If referees were better at knowing the laws, if centers were better at covering the field to sell tough calls and make the right call, ARs staying with the 2nd to last defender. ARs getting to the goal line, etc. These things would definitely help "match control". If you ref games where this stuff doesn't get the coaches and parents riled up, please share the clubs playing in those matches.

This is pretty much how I feel. I have kids playing both ECNL and NCSL. I have reffed and coached, and played 2 decades in Europe.

On the one hand, I’m always amazed when parents lose their mind over an incorrect throw-in call. At uLittle, throw-in possession is not going to impact the game. A referee could literally give every throw-in to one team, and I don’t believe it would be a meaningful advantage. It might be a disadvantage at 7v7, as the team not throwing in has a numerical advantage on the field temporarily.

I feel similarly about missed offsides calls. Unless it’s blatant, you shouldn’t depend on a trap.

That said, at higher level games (state cup finals, top flights of tournaments), I expect the refs to know the rules, get out of the center circle, be in position to make calls correctly, and not try to make calls they are not in position for.

Center ref disallowing a goal for offside when he wasn’t even on that half of the field, and the AR’s flag stayed down??? Unacceptable. Same for not giving cards for vicious fouls. Breaking someone’s ankles from behind and no card (when a pro would get sent off)? Unacceptable. Giving PKs for a shot hitting someone’s shoulder when their arms are behind their back? Unacceptable.

Many refs are great, but we have plenty in the DC area that need work.

[Anonymous]

Leagues/Tournaments should raise team fees then give referees much higher pay. This, in turn, will get more people interested in being referees.

Leagues/Tournaments should also levy fines agains teams that are abusive to referees, whether it’s from the parents or coach.

With a lot more available referees, leagues/tournaments can be much more selective about the quality of referees. With a lack/limited number of available referees, we all have to live with what we have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Leagues/Tournaments should raise team fees then give referees much higher pay. This, in turn, will get more people interested in being referees.

Leagues/Tournaments should also levy fines agains teams that are abusive to referees, whether it’s from the parents or coach.

With a lot more available referees, leagues/tournaments can be much more selective about the quality of referees. With a lack/limited number of available referees, we all have to live with what we have.

Agreed, we just also need to better distribute what we have. We have seen some amazing uLittle NCSL division 5 refs and awful ECNL refs. That’s not ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Leagues/Tournaments should raise team fees then give referees much higher pay. This, in turn, will get more people interested in being referees.

Leagues/Tournaments should also levy fines agains teams that are abusive to referees, whether it’s from the parents or coach.

With a lot more available referees, leagues/tournaments can be much more selective about the quality of referees. With a lack/limited number of available referees, we all have to live with what we have.

Agree. I’m so grateful for the good ones, especially those who make the effort to teach the little ones. Honestly not sure why anyone puts up with it.

[Anonymous]

I think it would help if there was a way to provide feedback on referees and it actually is received and used in some way. Even if it was other referees rating the referees that they worked with that day. Some referees don't know they suck and they keep doing what they are doing because there is zero accountability. There is such a high demand for refs that assignors will take anyone. There were SOOOOOOOOOOO many games these weekend with only partial crews and some had no crew. I email my assignor when someone is REALLLLLLLY bad. Otherwise, I don't say anything and just move along. Even myself, I have no idea if I'm a decent ref or not, because I get no feedback. I've reffed long enough to know some coaches so after games I sometimes have a small chat and ask about what I could have done better...in their opinion of course. As to good refs doing rec and bad refs doing ECNL...yeah, there is no levels among referees. Once you are certified, you can request any game you want in SFL, NCSL, CCL, EDP, ECNL-R, ECNL, etc. If the assignor needs you, they'll give it to you. For example, I was doing a state cup match once and one of the ARs said that it was their first time they were ever refereeing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Leagues/Tournaments should also levy fines agains teams that are abusive to referees, whether it’s from the parents or coach.

Do it like SoCal. Publicly shame the parents. That page makes me laugh and cry at the same time. Next step is to put a scarlet letter on the jersey's of kids who's parent got ejected.

Navigate to More -> Coach/Spectator Suspensions

https://www.socalsoccerleague.org/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leagues/Tournaments should also levy fines agains teams that are abusive to referees, whether it’s from the parents or coach.

Do it like SoCal. Publicly shame the parents. That page makes me laugh and cry at the same time. Next step is to put a scarlet letter on the jersey's of kids who's parent got ejected.

Navigate to More -> Coach/Spectator Suspensions

https://www.socalsoccerleague.org/

I get the temptation— but that’s kind of cruel to the kids, who likely have zero ability to control their parents. The kids have to live with the people that may be equally obnoxious and even abusive at home. Give those scarle letters directly to the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leagues/Tournaments should also levy fines agains teams that are abusive to referees, whether it’s from the parents or coach.

Do it like SoCal. Publicly shame the parents. That page makes me laugh and cry at the same time. Next step is to put a scarlet letter on the jersey's of kids who's parent got ejected.

Navigate to More -> Coach/Spectator Suspensions

https://www.socalsoccerleague.org/

This is great! Some teams’ entire sideline were sent off/suspended. Can you imagine being a parent on this team? Must be extremely embarrassing. So fortunate that our team parents are not like this in any way, but we do have new parents this upcoming season. Hopefully, they won’t embarrass the rest of us.

[Anonymous]

Center referees have to fill out game reports for all NCSL games they do. In that report, we need to select the behavior of the Coaches, Parents, and Players from a drop down box. Excellent, Good, Bad, etc. I don't think anything is done with these rankings unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

One thing to consider is the shortage of referees and all games being played without full crews. When a game doesn't have a full crew, the center referee usually asks if a parent can help call balls out of bounds. These "parent ARs" are not allowed to call offside or fouls, which adds alot more area to cover for the center referee. Imagine, the center referee now has to TRY to get better angles for offside on BOTH sides of the field. To do this, the center has to take his eye off the ball quite a bit. Basically keeping his/her head on a swivel. Same with fouls, often a center has an AR to help call fouls in the corners. Not, without a full crew. So centers can miss alot more without full crews because of how much extra ground they need to cover and more things to watch for. With that said, I feel bad for missing any calls last weekend because of this. There was one game in particular where the team and coaches were very upset over a call I had to make from 50 yards away because I got got deep on one side of the field and got behind the counter attack. I called what I thought I saw. I did my best. And just for an idea of field coverage, I centered one U14 game and two U13 games last Sunday, back to back to back with only parent ARs for all three...with about 15 minutes in between to get ready for the next game which is only enough times for check in, find parent ARs, do captains, and maybe get a sip of water. I got 29,000 steps from those 3 matches. I'm not a runner either. I'm just an average 50 year old who refs because his kid likes to ref/make money and it's something to do together. However, my kid had to return these games due to a conflict so he couldn't ref with me and I didn't want to return them and leave the games with NO refs. So I busted my a-ss. I was sore as hell the next day with blisters on my feet. Probably a typical day for the average local referee. With that said, I do appreciate all the help the parent ARs did give me. Anyway...something to consider when watching the games.