How important is it to attend grandmother’s 70th birthday?

[Anonymous]

I attended my mother’s 70th but my husband and children didn’t given it was 3 hour flight. She was thrilled and it was fun to have some mother/daughter time.

[Anonymous]

Might be a step mom if she’s only 70 and the kids are already in travel soccer. Skip it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Might be a step mom if she’s only 70 and the kids are already in travel soccer. Skip it.

Weirdest post!! It’s not the 70yo kids in soccer; it’s her grand kids

Mom is 70
Kids are 40-45
Grandkids are 15-20

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Might be a step mom if she’s only 70 and the kids are already in travel soccer. Skip it.

Weirdest post!! It’s not the 70yo kids in soccer; it’s her grand kids

Mom is 70
Kids are 40-45
Grandkids are 15-20

Your math is off.
(Step)mom is 70.
Kids are 40-45.
Grandkids are 5-10.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Might be a step mom if she’s only 70 and the kids are already in travel soccer. Skip it.

Weirdest post!! It’s not the 70yo kids in soccer; it’s her grand kids

Mom is 70
Kids are 40-45
Grandkids are 15-20

MIL had DS when she was ~25. We had our first when we were 30.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Classic lose-lose scenario for MIL.

She asks you to come, you'll be furious at her gall for DEMANDING YOU FLY OUT THERE AND UPEND YOUR FAMILY'S SCHEDULE.

She doesn't ask you to come, and you're offended that SHE DOES NOT SEEM TO WANT YOU THERE WITH THE PRECIOUS GRANDKIDS.

Sigh.

Exactly. She can’t win.

+1000

[Anonymous]

At least she isn't demanding you come but NOT the children. Which is what my MIL did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Classic lose-lose scenario for MIL.

She asks you to come, you'll be furious at her gall for DEMANDING YOU FLY OUT THERE AND UPEND YOUR FAMILY'S SCHEDULE.

She doesn't ask you to come, and you're offended that SHE DOES NOT SEEM TO WANT YOU THERE WITH THE PRECIOUS GRANDKIDS.

Sigh.

Oh my lord. Or she could have an adult conversation about what makes sense for everyone's lives? Families with healthy dynamics don't have these issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No - I imagine she wants to enjoy her adult friends and would be happy to dote on the kids in a separate visit

+1

Fortunately my ILs are local.

When my MIL had her 70th birthday dinner party out, a surprise arranged by her long time best friend and husband, it too was just her adult friends all in their 60's and 70's. DS made a brief appearance, to hide in the private dining room with the rest of us and yell surprise, then gave his grandmother a bday hug and left with a sitter for the evening. I can't imagine we would have flown somewhere to do this for the weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No - I imagine she wants to enjoy her adult friends and would be happy to dote on the kids in a separate visit

+1

Fortunately my ILs are local.

When my MIL had her 70th birthday dinner party out, a surprise arranged by her long time best friend and husband, it too was just her adult friends all in their 60's and 70's. DS made a brief appearance, to hide in the private dining room with the rest of us and yell surprise, then gave his grandmother a bday hug and left with a sitter for the evening. I can't imagine we would have flown somewhere to do this for the weekend.

Op here. Dh is thinking of flying in the morning of the party, going to the party, taking mom out on her actual birthday and then flying home. The whole trip will be 36 hours.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t go if kids have tournaments. Let him go

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t go if kids have tournaments. Let him go

1 kid has tournament. 1 kid may have a tournament if his team makes it. 1 kid has a regular match. 2 kids have birthday parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Classic lose-lose scenario for MIL.

She asks you to come, you'll be furious at her gall for DEMANDING YOU FLY OUT THERE AND UPEND YOUR FAMILY'S SCHEDULE.

She doesn't ask you to come, and you're offended that SHE DOES NOT SEEM TO WANT YOU THERE WITH THE PRECIOUS GRANDKIDS.

Sigh.

Exactly. She can’t win.

+1000

The MIL brigade is in force today. These PPs seem to be reading anger into the OP where I didn't see any.

OP, I wouldn't worry about this and follow your husband's lead. I agree with other suggestions to have the kids send her a cute homemade present or flowers or something. And, next time your DH is on the phone with her (or just call her yourself) just say that you hope she has a fabulous time celebrating her milestone birthday and that you'll be thinking of her.