Husband or Handyman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unclear why you don't just find a handyman and give your wife access to him.

I don’t think this sounds the way you mean it. Although if he’s gone on work travel a lot, maybe this is the way to go…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I'd say I can spare X hours per week (change the amount when traveling) , give an estimate of hours for each thing, and ask her for the priority items. If it's going to take too long she can hire a handyman.

This OP. It’s kind of on you to make time for the house too. I’m sure she does a ton of stuff around the house she would rather not because it needs to be done.

[Anonymous]

She bought a new fridge at auction. So, I picked it up, loaded into a truck, brought it home, removed the front door of the house and rolled it and installed it. The older one went to the basement.

[Anonymous]

She also wants new floors which I will not put in and if she really wants them she can pay from her earnings. I’m already paying all the other household expenses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She bought a new fridge at auction. So, I picked it up, loaded into a truck, brought it home, removed the front door of the house and rolled it and installed it. The older one went to the basement.

That’s nice of you. Did you thank her for buying the fridge?

[Anonymous]

Yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She also wants new floors which I will not put in and if she really wants them she can pay from her earnings. I’m already paying all the other household expenses.

The is your main problem. The way you view her earnings and what you earn.

You are married not business partners.

It is the home for both of you. Does it really matter who pays for the floors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She also wants new floors which I will not put in and if she really wants them she can pay from her earnings. I’m already paying all the other household expenses.

You’ve posted quite a few times about this before haven’t you…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She also wants new floors which I will not put in and if she really wants them she can pay from her earnings. I’m already paying all the other household expenses.

So this isn't about a Honey Do list or being tired after traveling and working out after all. You guys need to get on the same page about finances, needs vs. wants, and align your priorities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She also wants new floors which I will not put in and if she really wants them she can pay from her earnings. I’m already paying all the other household expenses.

So this isn't about a Honey Do list or being tired after traveling and working out after all. You guys need to get on the same page about finances, needs vs. wants, and align your priorities.

+1 OP needs to realize that marriage isn’t a transactional relationship between opposing parties. It’s a partnership where you need to get on the same page. As a wife I’d find OP to be incredibly tiresome. Whine or wine….it’s your choice.

[Anonymous]

What’s happening is you’re both living out in the country somewhere with not quite enough income. She thinks you’re a farm husband. You think she’s a suburban career woman. It’s a mismatch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unclear why you don't just find a handyman and give your wife access to him.

Yeah, add a family member in 9 months

[Anonymous]

[u]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She also wants new floors which I will not put in and if she really wants them she can pay from her earnings. I’m already paying all the other household expenses.

So this isn't about a Honey Do list or being tired after traveling and working out after all. You guys need to get on the same page about finances, needs vs. wants, and align your priorities.

+1 OP needs to realize that marriage isn’t a transactional relationship between opposing parties. It’s a partnership where you need to get on the same page. As a wife I’d find OP to be incredibly tiresome. Whine or wine….it’s your choice.

Agreed. Im a DW too and make 50+% of our HHI and so the handy stuff (because i enjoy it and am good at it- except moving very heavy things). But dh can hire someone if he needs something done faster than I'm able to get to it. But he knows we would rather save the $ for something fun. So we come up with a time/$ budget together for all projects that would take me more than an hour to do. The list gets updated and reprioritized monthly etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She bought a new fridge at auction. So, I picked it up, loaded into a truck, brought it home, removed the front door of the house and rolled it and installed it. The older one went to the basement.

That’s nice of you. Did you thank her for buying the fridge?

OP, just drop it. DCUM is full of men-hating women. You will never get whatever you are looking for here.