Exchange student has a boyfriend

[Anonymous]

I'd contact the exchange students parents and ask for their rules and then follow those.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her not to have xes because it's not a guarantee that she could get an abortion.

Of course it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd contact the exchange students parents and ask for their rules and then follow those.

No - your house, your rules. The OP has a teen at home too, and can’t be enforcing two different sets of rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her not to have xes because it's not a guarantee that she could get an abortion.

Of course it is.

You don’t know where OP lives.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I’d like to prevent us getting to the point where abortion is even an issue.
Thank you for the suggestions to give her the same rules that my own kids have.
This is going to take some backtracking since she’s been feeling pretty free to coordinate her own social life and do what she wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’d like to prevent us getting to the point where abortion is even an issue.
Thank you for the suggestions to give her the same rules that my own kids have.
This is going to take some backtracking since she’s been feeling pretty free to coordinate her own social life and do what she wants.

Why can't you just have a conversation with her to find out what is going on?

[Anonymous]

You said the other kid is a friend of your DD's. Do you know the parents well enough to talk?

[Anonymous]

When I was an exchange student the host family set the house rules and I was expected to follow them.
Some families were more permissive than others but I had to adapt and respect the rules when I moved to a stricter household.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Europeans are much more relaxed about teen sexuality than we are, I wouldn’t overthink it. I’d just have the same rules for her that you would for your own kids that age.

This. European parents are generally more open, and less strict about dating. I would check in with parents, but overall, it’s not your responsibility to keep her inside and away from boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd contact the exchange students parents and ask for their rules and then follow those.

No - your house, your rules. The OP has a teen at home too, and can’t be enforcing two different sets of rules.

Sure you can

[Anonymous]

It sounds like it’s going to be a stressful next 3 weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Europeans are much more relaxed about teen sexuality than we are, I wouldn’t overthink it. I’d just have the same rules for her that you would for your own kids that age.

French person here. NO!

What's wrong with you?!?

We're normal people like you: some Europeans are permissive, some Europeans are most definitely not! You don't know what this exchange student's family is like, and you cannot make assumptions based on her home continent. Ridiculous!

The point of being an exchange student is to live like the children in the host family. OP, thanks for looking out for this minor. If you're asking the question here, clearly you care. Enforce some reasonable rules.

Uh did you miss where I said have the same rules for her as for her own daughter?

And Europeans are less uptight about sexuality in general compared to the US. I just meant don’t over worry about it, any teenager of that age whose parents sent them to another country likely trusts their decision making.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her not to have xes because it's not a guarantee that she could get an abortion.

I can pretty much guarantee that just about every country in Europe has more restrictions on abortion than you think they have.

[Anonymous]

She’s been there for a week and has a boyfriend? And she’s only staying a month?
How is she coordinating her own get togethers after only a week. That sounds way too fast.