Spin-off on childless thread - giving up on #2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i too have a 3 year old- but only 1 loss afterwards...we have been TTC since that loss (when my 3 yr old was 7 mos. old)-- we have had 4 failed medicated IUI's, 1 cancelled IVF and we are in the midst of a failed IVF - nothing to transfer -- which will be our last TTC attempt w/assistance (we're out of $$)... in the last month both of my husband's good friends wives have announced their second pregnancies (and both their firsts are younger than my child)... and this weekend I am going to the baptism of a friends twins... my DH seems to be coming to terms w/only having one-- and doesn't understand how hard it is for me to go out w/ and chat w/his friends wives while watching their bumps grow-- first let me say I HATE that it is hard for me (i am truly happy for all of them) but right now it is.. how do i get my husband to understand that at times I just don't want to be in that situation? also please tell me it gets easier-- i can't imagine feeling this awful forever?? i came from a large family and can't imagine life w/o my siblings-- my heart breaks every time about the fact that my child w/miss out on that!!

I know exactly where you're coming from, and my heart aches for you. It's so hard to be in that place!

FWIW, I thought the book "A Few Good Eggs" was helpful. It's written by two women who've been though the whole TTC and IVF roller coaster. In addition to addressing the science of it all, there are a few chapters that might help your husband understand where you're coming from. Sometimes it's easier for men to read it in other people's words. Anyway, there's a chapter about how hard it can be for TTC women to share their pregnant friends' happiness, even when they're truly happy for them. Right on target! And then there's a chapter written from the husbands' perspectives. Tell him he really doesn't need to read the whole book -- just those two chapters would be great! I found a copy at our local library, by the way.

Good luck and big hugs!

[Anonymous]

OP here. I just want to thank everyone for the thoughtful responses. To the PP who has a threatened m/c, I am so sorry. My DD is two and I have had 2 miscarriages since she was born. I am starting to come to terms with only having one. At least, I know that I'm not the only one out there and DD will likely end up with friends who are also onlies. Good luck to everyone still TTC!