What’s up with this kid and what do I do?

[Anonymous]

This is like my child’s best friend.

I hate it. And we’ve put a little more distance between them without cutting off. But lately we’ve also been so busy that it feels like a cut off. The mom doesn’t care because I can tell she barely likes us (I do NOT get that, but she’s kind of messed up based on other stuff going on).

Anyway ..
Yeah her kid watches YouTube without restriction. That’s where they get most of it.

[Anonymous]

Don't mention it to another parent in your circle. That's just gossiping. Maybe call the school counselor, but more than that encourage and facilitate other friendships with other kids for your son. The kid probably has access to the internet and is watching things he's too young for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:School psychologist here. Major red flag warnings. First, you need to have a talk with your son and tell him that you are upset about what happened and that you want him to always be safe. Explain that touching like that is unacceptable and find out if it has happened before. You want your son to understand how serious this is and to be comfortable telling you about it.

Imagine that it’s ten years from now and your son is telling some therapist that this kid repeatedly assaulted your son, and your son reports that his mom knew about it, but just told the other kid to stop and that was it. What could be happening in school bathrooms and locker rooms going forward? Believe me, there are sometimes problems like this. Your kid has to get the message that you put an end to it.

You need to tell the other kid’s mom what happened and that to ensure your child’s safety, you will not be carpooling any more.

You need to tell the school guidance school and also tell the school that you don’t 2ant your son in this kid’s class or in any unsupervised location with him, like the restroom.

You have grounds to call the police here and the other kid could be ordered to keep away from your kid and change schools. This kind of thing recently happened at a school where I was working.

Your priority is to make sure your son gets the message loud and clear that you will protect him, that his safety is paramount, and the other kid needs to have this behavior known so he can get treatment and learn that it’s not okay. Whether he has deep psychological issues or is immature and impulsive, he needs help and your kid needs to know you have his back.

Imagine the other kid talking to a therapist ten years from now, while being evaluated for treatment following an arrest. He tells the therapist that nobody ever made a big deal about when he did things like this, so why is he in trouble now? And the parents say that nobody told them what he was doing.

Would you have the same response about unwanted grinding? This is so prevalent that half the boys in one of my child’s classes have probably done this to each other and other girls. They are also 2nd graders

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:School psychologist here. Major red flag warnings. First, you need to have a talk with your son and tell him that you are upset about what happened and that you want him to always be safe. Explain that touching like that is unacceptable and find out if it has happened before. You want your son to understand how serious this is and to be comfortable telling you about it.

Imagine that it’s ten years from now and your son is telling some therapist that this kid repeatedly assaulted your son, and your son reports that his mom knew about it, but just told the other kid to stop and that was it. What could be happening in school bathrooms and locker rooms going forward? Believe me, there are sometimes problems like this. Your kid has to get the message that you put an end to it.

You need to tell the other kid’s mom what happened and that to ensure your child’s safety, you will not be carpooling any more.

You need to tell the school guidance school and also tell the school that you don’t 2ant your son in this kid’s class or in any unsupervised location with him, like the restroom.

You have grounds to call the police here and the other kid could be ordered to keep away from your kid and change schools. This kind of thing recently happened at a school where I was working.

Your priority is to make sure your son gets the message loud and clear that you will protect him, that his safety is paramount, and the other kid needs to have this behavior known so he can get treatment and learn that it’s not okay. Whether he has deep psychological issues or is immature and impulsive, he needs help and your kid needs to know you have his back.

Imagine the other kid talking to a therapist ten years from now, while being evaluated for treatment following an arrest. He tells the therapist that nobody ever made a big deal about when he did things like this, so why is he in trouble now? And the parents say that nobody told them what he was doing.

Would you have the same response about unwanted grinding? This is so prevalent that half the boys in one of my child’s classes have probably done this to each other and other girls. They are also 2nd graders

What kind of crazy school does your kid go to? I'd be pulling my kid out of there, and yeah I was in my kid's classroom a fair bit when they were younger, so I'd know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:School psychologist here. Major red flag warnings. First, you need to have a talk with your son and tell him that you are upset about what happened and that you want him to always be safe. Explain that touching like that is unacceptable and find out if it has happened before. You want your son to understand how serious this is and to be comfortable telling you about it.

Imagine that it’s ten years from now and your son is telling some therapist that this kid repeatedly assaulted your son, and your son reports that his mom knew about it, but just told the other kid to stop and that was it. What could be happening in school bathrooms and locker rooms going forward? Believe me, there are sometimes problems like this. Your kid has to get the message that you put an end to it.

You need to tell the other kid’s mom what happened and that to ensure your child’s safety, you will not be carpooling any more.

You need to tell the school guidance school and also tell the school that you don’t 2ant your son in this kid’s class or in any unsupervised location with him, like the restroom.

You have grounds to call the police here and the other kid could be ordered to keep away from your kid and change schools. This kind of thing recently happened at a school where I was working.

Your priority is to make sure your son gets the message loud and clear that you will protect him, that his safety is paramount, and the other kid needs to have this behavior known so he can get treatment and learn that it’s not okay. Whether he has deep psychological issues or is immature and impulsive, he needs help and your kid needs to know you have his back.

Imagine the other kid talking to a therapist ten years from now, while being evaluated for treatment following an arrest. He tells the therapist that nobody ever made a big deal about when he did things like this, so why is he in trouble now? And the parents say that nobody told them what he was doing.

Would you have the same response about unwanted grinding? This is so prevalent that half the boys in one of my child’s classes have probably done this to each other and other girls. They are also 2nd graders

What kind of crazy school does your kid go to? I'd be pulling my kid out of there, and yeah I was in my kid's classroom a fair bit when they were younger, so I'd know.

NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:School psychologist here. Major red flag warnings. First, you need to have a talk with your son and tell him that you are upset about what happened and that you want him to always be safe. Explain that touching like that is unacceptable and find out if it has happened before. You want your son to understand how serious this is and to be comfortable telling you about it.

Imagine that it’s ten years from now and your son is telling some therapist that this kid repeatedly assaulted your son, and your son reports that his mom knew about it, but just told the other kid to stop and that was it. What could be happening in school bathrooms and locker rooms going forward? Believe me, there are sometimes problems like this. Your kid has to get the message that you put an end to it.

You need to tell the other kid’s mom what happened and that to ensure your child’s safety, you will not be carpooling any more.

You need to tell the school guidance school and also tell the school that you don’t 2ant your son in this kid’s class or in any unsupervised location with him, like the restroom.

You have grounds to call the police here and the other kid could be ordered to keep away from your kid and change schools. This kind of thing recently happened at a school where I was working.

Your priority is to make sure your son gets the message loud and clear that you will protect him, that his safety is paramount, and the other kid needs to have this behavior known so he can get treatment and learn that it’s not okay. Whether he has deep psychological issues or is immature and impulsive, he needs help and your kid needs to know you have his back.

Imagine the other kid talking to a therapist ten years from now, while being evaluated for treatment following an arrest. He tells the therapist that nobody ever made a big deal about when he did things like this, so why is he in trouble now? And the parents say that nobody told them what he was doing.

+1
Don't minimize this because they are little boys. Your son got sexually assaulted in the back seat of your car. Imagine this scenario is your child was a little girl who was being grabbed between the legs by this kid. Separate them and talk to your kid. You don't want him normalizing this behavior. It makes him vulnerable if he should ever meet a real predator.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lemon licker isn't a reference to balls. Some of this stuff sounds like too much online time or spending time with an older family member, perhaps a cousin. My neighbor is an only child and learns all kind of trash from her older cousins during her handful of visits with them each year. The groping is much more concerning, and I would worry that the child was being abused in order to learn that behavior. I would bring it up to the parents before going to the school or, God forbid, CPS.

The groping is concerning but the rest sounds typical for kids with older brothers/cousins or watching too much YouTube.

[Anonymous]

It's weird enough that I wouldn't let my son hang out with this kid anymore. Stop carpooling too.

[Anonymous]

He probably hears it at home. I would tell the parents that you are not carpooling anymore due to the language and behavior.