AITA- Sharing personal info on team meetings

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just say something like "enjoyed the nice weather this weekend" or "caught up on laundry." You don't need ot announce you discovered your husband has been having an affair with your sister.

OP: An icebreaker I can handle but my issue is feeling forced to respond in our weekly meetings! Furthermore the sense I get is the responses should be cheery or exciting. No one wants to be the person who says, “I did laundry.” And since folks get asked specifically there’s no way to opt out if you’re not on the best mental space.

Why not? If you think the whole exercise is stupid, why does it matter if you just did laundry?

As for the "being forced to respond" issue, consider talking to your manager and saying that you would be more comfortable if people were encouraged to volunteer but not called on by name.

None of what you describe would bother me, including telling the meeting "I did a lot of laundry this weekend" if that's what happened. You sound insecure.

Nobody wants to be judged as the boring one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just say something like "enjoyed the nice weather this weekend" or "caught up on laundry." You don't need ot announce you discovered your husband has been having an affair with your sister.

OP: An icebreaker I can handle but my issue is feeling forced to respond in our weekly meetings! Furthermore the sense I get is the responses should be cheery or exciting. No one wants to be the person who says, “I did laundry.” And since folks get asked specifically there’s no way to opt out if you’re not on the best mental space.

Why not? If you think the whole exercise is stupid, why does it matter if you just did laundry?

As for the "being forced to respond" issue, consider talking to your manager and saying that you would be more comfortable if people were encouraged to volunteer but not called on by name.

None of what you describe would bother me, including telling the meeting "I did a lot of laundry this weekend" if that's what happened. You sound insecure.

OP: “Insecure” is an interesting take. I appreciate the suggestion about approaching my manager and will use your verbiage instead of what I was thinking! 😅

[Anonymous]

I am an over-sharer like a PP but agree that I don't like forcing people to respond. This is the conundrum with remote work that everyone talks about, how we don't feel connected to each other and the casual pre-meeting chit chat doesn't happen.

I personally like hearing that you spent the weekend at your child's music competition, or you and your spouse hiked Old Rag, or even that you're in mourning because the Commanders lost. It's some tiny piece of humanity that makes for three-dimensional colleagues. I don't want to be your best friend, but if we work together 40+hrs per week, knowing a bit about each other can make our working relationship stronger.

[Anonymous]

What would you all do for small icebreakers with a team of 6? All are shy, but are interested in each other and want to be friendly. If there is no icebreaker, no one would naturally speak.

[Anonymous]

Ugh - I hate this, too. Icebreakers should be optional. You are NOT the AH.

[Anonymous]

One of the problems with remote or hybrid working is that people feel less connected. When you are in the office, you might chit chat with someone on the way to from the breakroom for coffee or the rest room or because they brought something to your desk from the printer. When everyone is fully remote or hybrid and working different schedules, you have less chance to socialize even briefly with your co-workers. This creates less invested employees and less of a team feel. People feel less commiment to their work and coworkers and are more likely to be "only in it for the paycheck".

I know that it feels forced and invasive, but these types of exercises help fully remote or non-overlapping hybrid team members feel more connected to their co-workers when they know them as more than just the name on some emails or as a face that sits in and doesn't comment during meetings.

My suggestion for the people who dislike these team-building exercises, is to come up with one thing about yourself that you are willing to talk about and make each of the statuses about that. Say you jog. "Went for a log jog and really enjoyed the weather." "Found a new place to jog, it's a park not too far from the office." "Hate this type of weather because I can't go out. I had to jog on the treadmill this weekend." of you do things with your kids. "Took the kids to the playground and really enjoyed the fall weather." The kids and I found a new restaurant that we really liked. It's a Mom & Pop shop. Anyone in this area should check it out." "So nice. The kids went camping with scouts this weekend, so I had time to sit back and catch up on a book I have been trying to get through." And so on. You can even make stuff up about the topic, but just make the topic about something that can make people feel more connected to you.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]What would you all do for small icebreakers with a team of 6? All are shy, but are interested in each other and want to be friendly. If there is no icebreaker, no one would naturally speak.[/quote]

I would start with small ones that are not personal. Food, movies. Stuff like your favorite class in school or favorite things as a child. Have a list so that everyone does not have to answer every question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's annoying, for sure, but you should always have some canned answer.

This. I hate stuff like this but have learned to just be as generic as possible. Went out to dinner on Saturday with the kids. Went for a run this morning. Getting the leaves cleaned up. And so on. The more boring the better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't love it.

Better to have an organic conversation, or let people do this in smaller breakout rooms if they want (built in time for natural conversation), or do a low-stakes and non-embarrassing ice breaker such as "find something you all have in common."

I am an over-sharer, but for some reason I hate these questions. They feel so pressured and forced. Calling people out individually is not cool.

No small breakout rooms. I wish those were banned

[Anonymous]

I don't really want to work with the type of people who feel too bothered to say anything about themselves, even if it's entirely generic. Should they be forced to share? No, but c'mon. You can't pass every single time. I want to work with people, not automatons.

[Anonymous]

Look you guys are listening to CEO and managers saying that employees are disconnected when remote or hybrid. They're trying to make you feel more connected, so throw them a bone.

[Anonymous]

We do a trivia question as an icebreaker at a weekly meeting. Introverts & non-competitive types don't need to answer if they don't want to. Funny to see who has obscure knowledge of random topics.

[Anonymous]

I love it and can’t stand people who just sit there like a bump on a log. I absolutely loathe uptight people who insist keeping the line between work and home absolutely separate. Lighten up a little and let people in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love it and can’t stand people who just sit there like a bump on a log. I absolutely loathe uptight people who insist keeping the line between work and home absolutely separate. Lighten up a little and let people in.

I doubt you will enjoy them if that's how you feel about them to start, and doubt you want to hear about them doing laundry or going on a walk.

[Anonymous]

It’s dumb, but really not hard to give a canned response and move on.