AITA- Sharing personal info on team meetings

[Anonymous]

I work for a Fortune 100 company and have been in internal virtual meetings large and small where the host asks participants to share an update about their lives, i.e what did you do over the weekend, what’s new in your life, what’s your favorite thing about fall, does anyone have something to share, etc. Whether or not someone volunteers to share first, everyone must answer because they’ll be called out. “Larla, what’s going on with you?” Would anyone find this annoying or AITA? It feels so deeply forced and there’s no way for someone to remain silent if they’re managing personal issues or just don’t want to share.

[Anonymous]

It's annoying, for sure, but you should always have some canned answer.

[Anonymous]

I hate this. You're NTA. Even if I say I just relaxed then they ask what shows I was watching. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work for a Fortune 100 company and have been in internal virtual meetings large and small where the host asks participants to share an update about their lives, i.e what did you do over the weekend, what’s new in your life, what’s your favorite thing about fall, does anyone have something to share, etc. Whether or not someone volunteers to share first, everyone must answer because they’ll be called out. “Larla, what’s going on with you?” Would anyone find this annoying or AITA? It feels so deeply forced and there’s no way for someone to remain silent if they’re managing personal issues or just don’t want to share.

That sounds like pretty standard small talk to open a meeting. It sounds like YOU feel pressured to participate, but I don't know that everyone feels that way. How are you/how's your day/how was your weekend/got any plans are pretty standard avenues of communication between adults who know each other.

You don't have to disclose personal issues. You can just saying you like the cooler weather or you had a good weekend. You are not TA here, but you definitely seem overly sensitive about a normal meeting opener.

[Anonymous]

Just say something like "enjoyed the nice weather this weekend" or "caught up on laundry." You don't need ot announce you discovered your husband has been having an affair with your sister.

[Anonymous]

I hate this so much. We have a question of the week we’re all expected to answer. And if you sit there quietly, you get called on.

[Anonymous]

I don't love it.

Better to have an organic conversation, or let people do this in smaller breakout rooms if they want (built in time for natural conversation), or do a low-stakes and non-embarrassing ice breaker such as "find something you all have in common."

I am an over-sharer, but for some reason I hate these questions. They feel so pressured and forced. Calling people out individually is not cool.

[Anonymous]

What, you don’t like “building connections” at work?

/s

[Anonymous]

I am the manager in this situation and I hate it too. What would you prefer instead as an ice breaker? My team actively asks for icebreakers and something like a happy hour for like 5 min after our meetings. I saw an increase in work interactions too once my team started getting to know each other. I only do this once a week. How can it be more painful? I'd say that 3/4 the team LOVES these and 1/4 seems pained by it.

You can just make something up or mention the weather every week. One of my employees talks about recipes they're making nonstop. Everyone likes hearing about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work for a Fortune 100 company and have been in internal virtual meetings large and small where the host asks participants to share an update about their lives, i.e what did you do over the weekend, what’s new in your life, what’s your favorite thing about fall, does anyone have something to share, etc. Whether or not someone volunteers to share first, everyone must answer because they’ll be called out. “Larla, what’s going on with you?” Would anyone find this annoying or AITA? It feels so deeply forced and there’s no way for someone to remain silent if they’re managing personal issues or just don’t want to share.

That sounds like pretty standard small talk to open a meeting. It sounds like YOU feel pressured to participate, but I don't know that everyone feels that way. How are you/how's your day/how was your weekend/got any plans are pretty standard avenues of communication between adults who know each other.

You don't have to disclose personal issues. You can just saying you like the cooler weather or you had a good weekend. You are not TA here, but you definitely seem overly sensitive about a normal meeting opener.

DP. Yes, it is standard and normal to ask. It's polite to ask. No reason to call on people who haven't volunteered though. My boss asks things like what I'm having for lunch today. It feels forced like they read a book that said "how to be a good manager with a high EQ by showing interest in your employees" except it shows poor EQ by not adapting when the employee is uncomfortable. For the record, I am very polite and show interest in my coworkers when they are volunteering to share. I participate in group conversations. But I have a disability that sometimes means I spent all weekend in bed and I don't like having to make up answers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just say something like "enjoyed the nice weather this weekend" or "caught up on laundry." You don't need ot announce you discovered your husband has been having an affair with your sister.

OP: An icebreaker I can handle but my issue is feeling forced to respond in our weekly meetings! Furthermore the sense I get is the responses should be cheery or exciting. No one wants to be the person who says, “I did laundry.” And since folks get asked specifically there’s no way to opt out if you’re not on the best mental space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the manager in this situation and I hate it too. What would you prefer instead as an ice breaker? My team actively asks for icebreakers and something like a happy hour for like 5 min after our meetings. I saw an increase in work interactions too once my team started getting to know each other. I only do this once a week. How can it be more painful? I'd say that 3/4 the team LOVES these and 1/4 seems pained by it.

You can just make something up or mention the weather every week. One of my employees talks about recipes they're making nonstop. Everyone likes hearing about it.

As one of the introverts I don't mind icebreakers that are optional. So our boss could put out 5 questions and ask for volunteers and I might answer 2 or 3. Another thing could be trivia or word games that could be done in a group. I would alternate between those.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just say something like "enjoyed the nice weather this weekend" or "caught up on laundry." You don't need ot announce you discovered your husband has been having an affair with your sister.

OP: An icebreaker I can handle but my issue is feeling forced to respond in our weekly meetings! Furthermore the sense I get is the responses should be cheery or exciting. No one wants to be the person who says, “I did laundry.” And since folks get asked specifically there’s no way to opt out if you’re not on the best mental space.

Why not? If you think the whole exercise is stupid, why does it matter if you just did laundry?

As for the "being forced to respond" issue, consider talking to your manager and saying that you would be more comfortable if people were encouraged to volunteer but not called on by name.

None of what you describe would bother me, including telling the meeting "I did a lot of laundry this weekend" if that's what happened. You sound insecure.

[Anonymous]

You can say something completely impersonal.

I saw a really cute dog on my walk this morning.
I'm now all caught up on the newest episodes of Love is Blind, if anyone wants to discuss.
I perfected a new recipe involving grape tomatoes last night.
Today is my neice's 8th birthday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just say something like "enjoyed the nice weather this weekend" or "caught up on laundry." You don't need ot announce you discovered your husband has been having an affair with your sister.

OP: An icebreaker I can handle but my issue is feeling forced to respond in our weekly meetings! Furthermore the sense I get is the responses should be cheery or exciting. No one wants to be the person who says, “I did laundry.” And since folks get asked specifically there’s no way to opt out if you’re not on the best mental space.

Totally agree.