Work friends to real-life friends

[Anonymous]

What an absolutely stupid post.

Can you not make friends as an adult, OP? That’s completely pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What an absolutely stupid post.

Can you not make friends as an adult, OP? That’s completely pathetic.

OP here. I have a lot of social anxiety. Thanks for the kind words of encouragement!!

[Anonymous]

One of my work friend said, "I'd like to promote our relationship to an outside of work relationship". She said it jokingly but it was like, hey yea we are friends not just work friends.

For other friends, I find out what they like and invite them places on the weekend. One woman I hike with, one woman I just meet for dinner and now she is retired and we still meet for dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work with a woman my age/similar stage in life, and we have been work friends for 3 years give or take. We don't actually do any work together, but are on the same team so we're constantly texting during the workday and outside of work to vent but also talk about our personal lives, and every couple weeks we chat on the phone for 30+ minutes. We're fully remote but live very close to each other. Something she mentioned to me came up in conversation with DH the other day, and he asked me if I'd ever gotten together with her in person, which I haven't. It got me thinking that that would be fun, but I feel kind of weird suggesting that years into our work friendship. Am I overthinking this? Should I just leave things virtual?

you can but work friends aren't real friends. Actually there are no real friends other than the people who saw you grow up.

That might be true in your life but it isn’t universally true.

Of course it is. Childhood friends are more valued and they stay for the good and the ugly. It's a non shallow non pretentious and non transactional kind of true friendship. Rest are network buddies or acquaintances.

No way. I’m not in touch with any childhood friends. We have nothing in common anymore.

[Anonymous]

Everybody has different experiences. I grew apart from all of my childhood friends as we ended up in different socioeconomic situations. My very best friend for the past 25 years is someone I met when I was 25 years old. She moved across the country 20 years ago but we are still the best of friends.

[Anonymous]

I live very far away from my work, but have met quite a few of my work friends outside of it. I didn't grow up in this area, so I try to make friends anyway I can, which is really hard for me. I have a lot of social anxiety as well. OP, it's not weird to ask to meet IRL. I don't think it matters how/when/where you met people, as long as you connect with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work with a woman my age/similar stage in life, and we have been work friends for 3 years give or take. We don't actually do any work together, but are on the same team so we're constantly texting during the workday and outside of work to vent but also talk about our personal lives, and every couple weeks we chat on the phone for 30+ minutes. We're fully remote but live very close to each other. Something she mentioned to me came up in conversation with DH the other day, and he asked me if I'd ever gotten together with her in person, which I haven't. It got me thinking that that would be fun, but I feel kind of weird suggesting that years into our work friendship. Am I overthinking this? Should I just leave things virtual?

you can but work friends aren't real friends. Actually there are no real friends other than the people who saw you grow up.

If you still hang out with them after you no longer work with them, then yes they are real friends. In my experience exactly one of my real friends is a former coworker. And the growing up thing is silly. I made plenty of real friends in college and afterward.

[Anonymous]

Most of new friends I made since I started working 25 years ago were from work. The closest were from my 1st job after college, a small office that was recently established at the time, with mostly after college staff. So we were at same life stage, young, single, unencumbered by thoughts like “your work colleagues can never be your friends” so got together often after work, traveled together, etc…

now, I also have a few from my work, but we’re older some with kids, some without, so of course we don’t get together as often, and the friendship developed much slower than in younger days.

Go slow, see if they may be open for coffee or lunch, and see if there is interest or not (May be they don’t have space beyond these calls - which is also fine, given the small kids and job. If they may be up to in person meet up, see if vibe holds.