Can someone explain the lure of selective colleges?

[Anonymous]

A lot depends on why it's so competitive.

It's hard to get into UNC from out of state, but once you're there, it's going to have all the disadvantages of a big state U.

There are selective colleges that want you to work as a hard or harder than you did when you were in high school, and they don't offer much support.

There are less-selective colleges that offer a lot of the quality of life elements that very selective colleges do (access to professors, on-campus housing for anyone who wants it, good food)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An obvious allure is that if your family makes say $100,000 you can attend most of the top schools for free or nearly free. No idea what your state "land-grant" school might offer...perhaps the same because of the statspeop you have to attend one of the top schools (??). BTW...only on DCUM does anybody refer to schools as land-grant.

Well, yeah, I referred to it that way so people could see where I'm coming from. I give the name of the school if someone asks in real life, but the details aren't important here.

I guess...except you said is it a financial thing where people are trying to make the highest $$$s possible...not a financial thing where maybe your entire college is free. Does land-grant = flagship?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An obvious allure is that if your family makes say $100,000 you can attend most of the top schools for free or nearly free. No idea what your state "land-grant" school might offer...perhaps the same because of the statspeop you have to attend one of the top schools (??). BTW...only on DCUM does anybody refer to schools as land-grant.

Well, yeah, I referred to it that way so people could see where I'm coming from. I give the name of the school if someone asks in real life, but the details aren't important here.

I guess...except you said is it a financial thing where people are trying to make the highest $$$s possible...not a financial thing where maybe your entire college is free. Does land-grant = flagship?

No, land-grant ≠ flagship. For example, in Indiana, Indiana is the flagship. Purdue is a land-grant.

[Anonymous]

You will be in a network that will benefit you the rest of your life.

In certain professions and fields, it's the entry ticket to get a foot in the door. State U is not.

You are not having a regional experience but meet students from all over the country and world. This will open up your world in a way State U will not.

I went to a highly selective college and it isn't all roses, but the above three reasons are the main benefits I saw and still see and experience in my life today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:State land-grant grad here. It never occurred to me to apply to HYP types, nor have any of my kids shown any interest. Is this a class divide? Regional? (I grew up in the Midwest) Is it a financial thing, where making the highest salary possible is the goal? I know this is a stupid question, but I enjoy learning what makes people tick, and this baffles me.

People want to climb a rung on the American Caste system. It's not really that hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You get to be around rich people. I went to a selective college as a middle class kid. I got a good education, but I could have gotten that at my state school. The biggest thing I got was marrying into money.

Is this that attractive, though? We're not wealthy ($250k HHI), but upper middle class is good enough to let us do the things we want. Are there that many people honestly wanting more? Seems stressful.

I have interacted closely with many families that are extremely wealthy (net worth at a minimum of several hundred million and up). I'm no where near that kind of wealth but believe me when I say its not as great as it seems in many aspects. Lots of insecurity, infidelity, broken families, intra-family squabbles, family members who can't stand each other, etc. Above a certain threshold (but no where close to the wealth I'm referring to), I really don't think it is worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You will be in a network that will benefit you the rest of your life.

In certain professions and fields, it's the entry ticket to get a foot in the door. State U is not.

You are not having a regional experience but meet students from all over the country and world. This will open up your world in a way State U will not.

I went to a highly selective college and it isn't all roses, but the above three reasons are the main benefits I saw and still see and experience in my life today.

And before someone jumps all over this I know some of these State Us get a good amount of out of state kids. But they're still dominated by regional kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You will be in a network that will benefit you the rest of your life.

In certain professions and fields, it's the entry ticket to get a foot in the door. State U is not.

You are not having a regional experience but meet students from all over the country and world. This will open up your world in a way State U will not.

I went to a highly selective college and it isn't all roses, but the above three reasons are the main benefits I saw and still see and experience in my life today.

But why is this appealing? Sounds like the class difference I mentioned in the OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You get to be around rich people. I went to a selective college as a middle class kid. I got a good education, but I could have gotten that at my state school. The biggest thing I got was marrying into money.

Is this that attractive, though? We're not wealthy ($250k HHI), but upper middle class is good enough to let us do the things we want. Are there that many people honestly wanting more? Seems stressful.

I have interacted closely with many families that are extremely wealthy (net worth at a minimum of several hundred million and up). I'm no where near that kind of wealth but believe me when I say its not as great as it seems in many aspects. Lots of insecurity, infidelity, broken families, intra-family squabbles, family members who can't stand each other, etc. Above a certain threshold (but no where close to the wealth I'm referring to), I really don't think it is worth it.

I think they have done studies on this very topic...seems like ~$10MM (net worth) is the sweet spot. People feel like if they never worked another day they would not really suffer a drop in lifestyle, but not enough to cause all the strife you mention above. This is likely folks that got to $10MM by living well below their means and saving and investing...so their lifestyle is comfortable but not extravagant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You get to be around rich people. I went to a selective college as a middle class kid. I got a good education, but I could have gotten that at my state school. The biggest thing I got was marrying into money.

Is this that attractive, though? We're not wealthy ($250k HHI), but upper middle class is good enough to let us do the things we want. Are there that many people honestly wanting more? Seems stressful.

Have you been on this website long?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You will be in a network that will benefit you the rest of your life.

In certain professions and fields, it's the entry ticket to get a foot in the door. State U is not.

You are not having a regional experience but meet students from all over the country and world. This will open up your world in a way State U will not.

I went to a highly selective college and it isn't all roses, but the above three reasons are the main benefits I saw and still see and experience in my life today.

But why is this appealing? Sounds like the class difference I mentioned in the OP?

That was a big appeal for my kids.
My kids were born and raised in Northern VA.
Kids prefered to get out of VA and explore starting in college years if possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You get to be around rich people. I went to a selective college as a middle class kid. I got a good education, but I could have gotten that at my state school. The biggest thing I got was marrying into money.

You met your spouse in college??

[Anonymous]

I grew up in the Midwest and New England, so got a good look at both cultures. The best way I can describe the difference is that IN GENERAL (so I’m acknowledging that there are exceptions) the people in the Midwest don’t attach college choice to personal prestige & self-image as much as they do in the Northeast (and certain other isolated areas near big cities like Chicago, LA, San Francisco, etc.).

People in the Midwest often have deep connections to certain colleges, but they are more likely to be due to sports or a family history at that school, rather than anything having to do with academics.

Jews & Asians, even in the Midwest, also seem more likely to care about elite colleges, perhaps at least partly because educational achievement has historically been a main way to overcome discrimination.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To compete with the best & brightest & most highly motivated.

To get a shot at the best jobs & internships.

Prestige.

Money.

Exposure to a more diverse group of peers.

To broaden one's knowledge & experience beyond that available at the in-state flagship.

To expand one's thinking & appreciation of differences.

No. Just the prestige. You can get there rest at a hundred other colleges too.

Ignorance is bliss.

DP. Not ignorant. I went to Midwest state flagship and am more successful than many who went to these schools. It is just the prestige as far as I can see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You get to be around rich people. I went to a selective college as a middle class kid. I got a good education, but I could have gotten that at my state school. The biggest thing I got was marrying into money.

Is this that attractive, though? We're not wealthy ($250k HHI), but upper middle class is good enough to let us do the things we want. Are there that many people honestly wanting more? Seems stressful.

Have you been on this website long?

Point taken. I left the DMV for college, though, so I suppose my view has skewed since then.