SWS - You are only invited if you’re Black

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a reflection of how white people and black people see "inclusion" differently. I don't actually know what the answer is, but I know enough from black friends and colleagues why that kind of event and phrasing is more meaningful in terms of making them feel included in a space that has historically been more white. Affinity groups and events are an important form of solidarity for folks who might otherwise feel out of place. It gives them opportunities to make connections with people from similar backgrounds, which can make it easier to navigate the community.

However, as a white person, I totally get why that's off-putting and I think my gut reaction to receiving would also be to feel excluded in a way that I would prefer not to associate with my child's school, specifically. I also suspect, based on my own experience at a different school post-Covid, that there are many white members of the community who may feel alienated and isolated for reasons other than race, and who crave opportunities to connect with other members of the community, but those opportunities have been few and far between in recent years. So part of my feeling may simply be jealousy because I could also use an affinity group like this, but there isn't one for "Families Experiencing Critical Mental Health Issues" or "Families With Poor Support Networks Outside the School Setting." And I'm too embarrassed to start one.

Or how about just having a white people affinity group? The email can be phrased exactly the same way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you so angry that black families are coming together to support each other? Is this hurting your child? Do you feel like you are lacking support? I know it sounds snarky, but I'm asking seriously.

The issue is that they are claiming diversity and inclusion and excluding families by skin color. Are they doing something separate for the excluded families and saying those families who attended this cannot come?

Do you honestly need another back to school event? Like WTAF? I'm tired.

-SWS parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a reflection of how white people and black people see "inclusion" differently. I don't actually know what the answer is, but I know enough from black friends and colleagues why that kind of event and phrasing is more meaningful in terms of making them feel included in a space that has historically been more white. Affinity groups and events are an important form of solidarity for folks who might otherwise feel out of place. It gives them opportunities to make connections with people from similar backgrounds, which can make it easier to navigate the community.

However, as a white person, I totally get why that's off-putting and I think my gut reaction to receiving would also be to feel excluded in a way that I would prefer not to associate with my child's school, specifically. I also suspect, based on my own experience at a different school post-Covid, that there are many white members of the community who may feel alienated and isolated for reasons other than race, and who crave opportunities to connect with other members of the community, but those opportunities have been few and far between in recent years. So part of my feeling may simply be jealousy because I could also use an affinity group like this, but there isn't one for "Families Experiencing Critical Mental Health Issues" or "Families With Poor Support Networks Outside the School Setting." And I'm too embarrassed to start one.

I'm a white parent of kids at SWS and couldn't give two hoots about this email beyond that I'm happy that the school is responding to known/voiced concerns from Black families over the years.

I'm glad you are happy with this. Obviously based on the OP, others are not. I think it's worth exploring why. I'm at another school, but because of the anonymous nature of this forum, I'm sharing honestly that one reason for the criticism may be jealousy because OP or others may have reasons to feel isolated or excluded that aren't being addressed by the community, and this might feel like just another way that they don't belong. It doesn't mean the playdate is wrong, it just might help to explain a negative reaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you so angry that black families are coming together to support each other? Is this hurting your child? Do you feel like you are lacking support? I know it sounds snarky, but I'm asking seriously.

+1! This is an affinity space for Black families to get to know each other. It’s not about exclusion of other races. Honestly, if you are not from a minority group (race, religion or ethnicity), I guess you just don’t get it.

—POC (not Black).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a reflection of how white people and black people see "inclusion" differently. I don't actually know what the answer is, but I know enough from black friends and colleagues why that kind of event and phrasing is more meaningful in terms of making them feel included in a space that has historically been more white. Affinity groups and events are an important form of solidarity for folks who might otherwise feel out of place. It gives them opportunities to make connections with people from similar backgrounds, which can make it easier to navigate the community.

However, as a white person, I totally get why that's off-putting and I think my gut reaction to receiving would also be to feel excluded in a way that I would prefer not to associate with my child's school, specifically. I also suspect, based on my own experience at a different school post-Covid, that there are many white members of the community who may feel alienated and isolated for reasons other than race, and who crave opportunities to connect with other members of the community, but those opportunities have been few and far between in recent years. So part of my feeling may simply be jealousy because I could also use an affinity group like this, but there isn't one for "Families Experiencing Critical Mental Health Issues" or "Families With Poor Support Networks Outside the School Setting." And I'm too embarrassed to start one.

I appreciate your thoughtful response pp, particularly about the isolation you feel. Sometimes it does appear that to be part of the “in-crowd” at certain schools, you simply have to be white. I wish I had a guaranteed solution for you to feel more welcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you so angry that black families are coming together to support each other? Is this hurting your child? Do you feel like you are lacking support? I know it sounds snarky, but I'm asking seriously.

The issue is that they are claiming diversity and inclusion and excluding families by skin color. Are they doing something separate for the excluded families and saying those families who attended this cannot come?

Why don't you speak up and ask for a support group if you feel it's needed? I can assure you that this event is happening because the black families have expressed their voices.

You still have not answered my questions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bullets struck a kindergarten classroom window in DC and this is what you're outraged by?

Logical fallacy much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a reflection of how white people and black people see "inclusion" differently. I don't actually know what the answer is, but I know enough from black friends and colleagues why that kind of event and phrasing is more meaningful in terms of making them feel included in a space that has historically been more white. Affinity groups and events are an important form of solidarity for folks who might otherwise feel out of place. It gives them opportunities to make connections with people from similar backgrounds, which can make it easier to navigate the community.

However, as a white person, I totally get why that's off-putting and I think my gut reaction to receiving would also be to feel excluded in a way that I would prefer not to associate with my child's school, specifically. I also suspect, based on my own experience at a different school post-Covid, that there are many white members of the community who may feel alienated and isolated for reasons other than race, and who crave opportunities to connect with other members of the community, but those opportunities have been few and far between in recent years. So part of my feeling may simply be jealousy because I could also use an affinity group like this, but there isn't one for "Families Experiencing Critical Mental Health Issues" or "Families With Poor Support Networks Outside the School Setting." And I'm too embarrassed to start one.

I would love an affinity group for families experiencing critical mental health issues. It's so hard to open up about these things, get support for them, and find people who have been through similar things and come out the other side. We're not in DC anymore, but we've been through it the last several years and I would have loved a support group in my community (rather than online) because it's been so hard to find other parents who understand.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you want to attend? Is that why you're mad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bullets struck a kindergarten classroom window in DC and this is what you're outraged by?

Logical fallacy much?

Yes, I love logical fallacies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you so angry that black families are coming together to support each other? Is this hurting your child? Do you feel like you are lacking support? I know it sounds snarky, but I'm asking seriously.

+1! This is an affinity space for Black families to get to know each other. It’s not about exclusion of other races. Honestly, if you are not from a minority group (race, religion or ethnicity), I guess you just don’t get it.

—POC (not Black).

Should a public school school-sponsored event on school grounds exclude members of the school community on the basis of race?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you so angry that black families are coming together to support each other? Is this hurting your child? Do you feel like you are lacking support? I know it sounds snarky, but I'm asking seriously.

+1! This is an affinity space for Black families to get to know each other. It’s not about exclusion of other races. Honestly, if you are not from a minority group (race, religion or ethnicity), I guess you just don’t get it.

—POC (not Black).

Should a public school school-sponsored event on school grounds exclude members of the school community on the basis of race?

Well there is Girls on the Run that is a school-sponsored activity based on gender. Are you also offended by that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you so angry that black families are coming together to support each other? Is this hurting your child? Do you feel like you are lacking support? I know it sounds snarky, but I'm asking seriously.

+1! This is an affinity space for Black families to get to know each other. It’s not about exclusion of other races. Honestly, if you are not from a minority group (race, religion or ethnicity), I guess you just don’t get it.

—POC (not Black).

Should a public school school-sponsored event on school grounds exclude members of the school community on the basis of race?

Well there is Girls on the Run that is a school-sponsored activity based on gender. Are you also offended by that?

What if there was a school-sponsored event for parents of LBGTQ+ kids? Would you also be offended by that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So … I get it. Black families have concerns that other races do not face. But the constant drumbeat of only focusing on one race at SWS is so off putting. The latest email from the school:

Dear SWS families,
As a part of the Inclusion, Diversity, Equity, and Anti-Racism (IDEA) Committee's ongoing commitment to fostering a strong sense of community and inclusivity within our school, we are excited to invite all families of children who identify as Black and/or of African descent to the upcoming Black Family Social.

Date: Sunday, October 1
Time: 11AM-1PM
Location: Sherwood Playground (behind SWS)

This special event is designed to celebrate and embrace the rich tapestry of our school community, specifically focusing on families with children who identify as Black and/or of African descent. It's an opportunity to come together and to strengthen connections and support among those of us raising Black children.

The bold appears in the email, in case you thought you might be invited as a white, Asian or Hispanic person. How is this “fostering inclusivity”?

No worries, OP. There is a white affinity group for you at SWS where you and your fellow white people can reflect on your white privilege, anti-blackness, and the perpetuation of systemic racism. Here is the description:

"White Affinity Group: This group will be taking time to unpack our own personal internalization, experiences, and perpetuation of whiteness and racism. Through self-reflection, journaling, and conversation, we will examine topics such as white privilege, allyship, and anti-blackness, in order to explicitly and intentionally increase our critical analysis, practice vulnerability and humility, form relationships of mutual support and challenge, and build our capacity for the ongoing work of anti-racism in our school community and beyond. Contact: ********"

Enjoy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you so angry that black families are coming together to support each other? Is this hurting your child? Do you feel like you are lacking support? I know it sounds snarky, but I'm asking seriously.

+1! This is an affinity space for Black families to get to know each other. It’s not about exclusion of other races. Honestly, if you are not from a minority group (race, religion or ethnicity), I guess you just don’t get it.

—POC (not Black).

I'm a member of a minority group, and I would never have phrased an email this way, nor would I have sent it school-wide like this. Why not just announce that there are affinity groups, distribute the contact person for each group school wide, and let interested people contact the person on their own? That way you are connecting, but not making others feel excluded.

This is like making a school-wide birthday party announcement, but making it clear that only people who identify as friends of Larla can attend.