Text from coach - what would you think

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Coach never should have emailed you. He should have said that the kids are chipped and that is what the results said. I've asked many times in swimming and the coaches would never ask another parents about the results.

Agreed. I would have suggested to ignore the text.

Congrats to your daughter on improving. I have runners, and I tell them all the time -- any race is anyone's game. If that other girl is mad that your daughter beat her, she'll just have to keep working to beat her next time.

[Anonymous]

"Yes, I saw the finish, and Emily definitely beat Cara. Can you tell me why on Earth you are asking this, and why the results and my daughter's word aren't enough for you?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Coach never should have emailed you. He should have said that the kids are chipped and that is what the results said. I've asked many times in swimming and the coaches would never ask another parents about the results.

Agreed. I would have suggested to ignore the text.

Congrats to your daughter on improving. I have runners, and I tell them all the time -- any race is anyone's game. If that other girl is mad that your daughter beat her, she'll just have to keep working to beat her next time.

OP here - thank you. Honestly, this is a school team that is really good so while she is not top on the team, she is a strong runner and all the feedback from coaches prior to this is that she works hard and listens at practice. Things finally clicked I think for her and this is the result??? The coach texts asking me if I saw the finish? Thumbs down to that. I told her I love her the same and am just as proud every time she goes out there because most people don't run!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just text back - "Yes, DD crossed a few seconds before her. It's been so great to see her improvement this year - all her hard work is paying off!" And then don't think any more about it.

OP here - That is pretty much what I wrote though my takeaway was that there was an implication that my kid cheated. We are friendly with the other kid's parents so I guess I didn't think they would make a big deal out of it but who knows. I will be giving them the side eye from here on out

Thanks for the feedback!

NO. That is what you must not do. You don't know why this parent asked. You only got a message from the coach. Don't be nasty.

OP here - point taken, though it is somewhat upsetting to know that someone begrudges my kid her one moment of victory. Though she had a faster race the next race, but got smoked by the girl she beat in the latest race.

See ... that girl got motivated!

It's possible that she was upset after your daughter beat her, and blurted out something inappropriate to her parents -- like, "I swear, I beat her!" Or possibly the parents are a little crazy. But honestly -- this is how runners get better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just text back - "Yes, DD crossed a few seconds before her. It's been so great to see her improvement this year - all her hard work is paying off!" And then don't think any more about it.

OP here - That is pretty much what I wrote though my takeaway was that there was an implication that my kid cheated. We are friendly with the other kid's parents so I guess I didn't think they would make a big deal out of it but who knows. I will be giving them the side eye from here on out

Thanks for the feedback!

NO. That is what you must not do. You don't know why this parent asked. You only got a message from the coach. Don't be nasty.

OP here - point taken, though it is somewhat upsetting to know that someone begrudges my kid her one moment of victory. Though she had a faster race the next race, but got smoked by the girl she beat in the latest race.

You're clearly new to the sport. Have you thought about why this bothers you so much? Was it a few seconds difference? I'm guessing it was closer than that because otherwise it wouldn't have been a question. DD has sometimes beaten kids by fractions of a second and in this situation if the times were so close I would not be confused or taken aback if someone who hadn't seen the race asked me the question.

[Anonymous]

What was the exact text from the coach? Your post sounds fishy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just text back - "Yes, DD crossed a few seconds before her. It's been so great to see her improvement this year - all her hard work is paying off!" And then don't think any more about it.

OP here - That is pretty much what I wrote though my takeaway was that there was an implication that my kid cheated. We are friendly with the other kid's parents so I guess I didn't think they would make a big deal out of it but who knows. I will be giving them the side eye from here on out

Thanks for the feedback!

NO. That is what you must not do. You don't know why this parent asked. You only got a message from the coach. Don't be nasty.

OP here - point taken, though it is somewhat upsetting to know that someone begrudges my kid her one moment of victory. Though she had a faster race the next race, but got smoked by the girl she beat in the latest race.

You're clearly new to the sport. Have you thought about why this bothers you so much? Was it a few seconds difference? I'm guessing it was closer than that because otherwise it wouldn't have been a question. DD has sometimes beaten kids by fractions of a second and in this situation if the times were so close I would not be confused or taken aback if someone who hadn't seen the race asked me the question.

Not new to this sport. I ran in high school though was not good but still love running. It was two seconds, and my kid has lost or won (against a runner, not overall) by fractions of a second. Neither of these girls was winning this race so it didn't matter for a medal or anything like that. I just looked it up and my daughter ran 11:04 and the other girl was 11:06, both placed in the high 30s.

I know why it bothers me. My kid had a really good, clean race and the response from the coach was to text asking if she really won. I didn't appreciate that but reading these is helping me see maybe I framed it the wrong way, but regardless coach didn't need to text.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What was the exact text from the coach? Your post sounds fishy.

Text: "Were (My Kid)'s results right at (meet name)? I wasn't near the finish but it had (my child) beating (other child). One other mom thought that wasn't correct so wanted to see what (my child) remembered. She had a great race yesterday."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just text back - "Yes, DD crossed a few seconds before her. It's been so great to see her improvement this year - all her hard work is paying off!" And then don't think any more about it.

OP here - That is pretty much what I wrote though my takeaway was that there was an implication that my kid cheated. We are friendly with the other kid's parents so I guess I didn't think they would make a big deal out of it but who knows. I will be giving them the side eye from here on out

Thanks for the feedback!

NO. That is what you must not do. You don't know why this parent asked. You only got a message from the coach. Don't be nasty.

OP here - point taken, though it is somewhat upsetting to know that someone begrudges my kid her one moment of victory. Though she had a faster race the next race, but got smoked by the girl she beat in the latest race.

You're clearly new to the sport. Have you thought about why this bothers you so much? Was it a few seconds difference? I'm guessing it was closer than that because otherwise it wouldn't have been a question. DD has sometimes beaten kids by fractions of a second and in this situation if the times were so close I would not be confused or taken aback if someone who hadn't seen the race asked me the question.

Not new to this sport. I ran in high school though was not good but still love running. It was two seconds, and my kid has lost or won (against a runner, not overall) by fractions of a second. Neither of these girls was winning this race so it didn't matter for a medal or anything like that. I just looked it up and my daughter ran 11:04 and the other girl was 11:06, both placed in the high 30s.

I know why it bothers me. My kid had a really good, clean race and the response from the coach was to text asking if she really won. I didn't appreciate that but reading these is helping me see maybe I framed it the wrong way, but regardless coach didn't need to text.

OP, I meant to ask -- is your daughter in 8th grade? And was this a 1.5 mile race?

Hopefully, your daughter has a LONG way to go in this sport ... I hope all the parents chill out, and if you get a text like that from the coach again, just ignore it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just text back - "Yes, DD crossed a few seconds before her. It's been so great to see her improvement this year - all her hard work is paying off!" And then don't think any more about it.

OP here - That is pretty much what I wrote though my takeaway was that there was an implication that my kid cheated. We are friendly with the other kid's parents so I guess I didn't think they would make a big deal out of it but who knows. I will be giving them the side eye from here on out

Thanks for the feedback!

NO. That is what you must not do. You don't know why this parent asked. You only got a message from the coach. Don't be nasty.

OP here - point taken, though it is somewhat upsetting to know that someone begrudges my kid her one moment of victory. Though she had a faster race the next race, but got smoked by the girl she beat in the latest race.

You're clearly new to the sport. Have you thought about why this bothers you so much? Was it a few seconds difference? I'm guessing it was closer than that because otherwise it wouldn't have been a question. DD has sometimes beaten kids by fractions of a second and in this situation if the times were so close I would not be confused or taken aback if someone who hadn't seen the race asked me the question.

Not new to this sport. I ran in high school though was not good but still love running. It was two seconds, and my kid has lost or won (against a runner, not overall) by fractions of a second. Neither of these girls was winning this race so it didn't matter for a medal or anything like that. I just looked it up and my daughter ran 11:04 and the other girl was 11:06, both placed in the high 30s.

I know why it bothers me. My kid had a really good, clean race and the response from the coach was to text asking if she really won. I didn't appreciate that but reading these is helping me see maybe I framed it the wrong way, but regardless coach didn't need to text.

OP, I meant to ask -- is your daughter in 8th grade? And was this a 1.5 mile race?

Hopefully, your daughter has a LONG way to go in this sport ... I hope all the parents chill out, and if you get a text like that from the coach again, just ignore it.

Thanks! 6th grade, 1.5 miles. I hope she sticks with it but already said she might be out next year because it's "too intense." And she doesn't know about the text.

[Anonymous]

OMG, this is way too much drama. The way you described it, I thought she was an 8th grader making inroads against high school varsity runners. I think EVERYONE needs to relax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG, this is way too much drama. The way you described it, I thought she was an 8th grader making inroads against high school varsity runners. I think EVERYONE needs to relax.

My point exactly! Why is this even coming up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Yes, I saw the finish, and Emily definitely beat Cara. Can you tell me why on Earth you are asking this, and why the results and my daughter's word aren't enough for you?"

Well that escalated quickly.

Don't write anything like this, ever, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just text back - "Yes, DD crossed a few seconds before her. It's been so great to see her improvement this year - all her hard work is paying off!" And then don't think any more about it.

OP here - That is pretty much what I wrote though my takeaway was that there was an implication that my kid cheated. We are friendly with the other kid's parents so I guess I didn't think they would make a big deal out of it but who knows. I will be giving them the side eye from here on out

Thanks for the feedback!

NO. That is what you must not do. You don't know why this parent asked. You only got a message from the coach. Don't be nasty.

If your daughter is already saying XC is “too intense” as a 6th grader, it’s because you are putting too much pressure on her. You’ve posted numerous times about her on this forum; I can only imagine what you are saying to her at home. Lay off.

I’m an experienced XC parent. I honestly do not believe a reputable coach would email a parent like you described in the initial post.



OP here - point taken, though it is somewhat upsetting to know that someone begrudges my kid her one moment of victory. Though she had a faster race the next race, but got smoked by the girl she beat in the latest race.

You're clearly new to the sport. Have you thought about why this bothers you so much? Was it a few seconds difference? I'm guessing it was closer than that because otherwise it wouldn't have been a question. DD has sometimes beaten kids by fractions of a second and in this situation if the times were so close I would not be confused or taken aback if someone who hadn't seen the race asked me the question.

Not new to this sport. I ran in high school though was not good but still love running. It was two seconds, and my kid has lost or won (against a runner, not overall) by fractions of a second. Neither of these girls was winning this race so it didn't matter for a medal or anything like that. I just looked it up and my daughter ran 11:04 and the other girl was 11:06, both placed in the high 30s.

I know why it bothers me. My kid had a really good, clean race and the response from the coach was to text asking if she really won. I didn't appreciate that but reading these is helping me see maybe I framed it the wrong way, but regardless coach didn't need to text.

OP, I meant to ask -- is your daughter in 8th grade? And was this a 1.5 mile race?

Hopefully, your daughter has a LONG way to go in this sport ... I hope all the parents chill out, and if you get a text like that from the coach again, just ignore it.

Thanks! 6th grade, 1.5 miles. I hope she sticks with it but already said she might be out next year because it's "too intense." And she doesn't know about the text.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just text back - "Yes, DD crossed a few seconds before her. It's been so great to see her improvement this year - all her hard work is paying off!" And then don't think any more about it.

OP here - That is pretty much what I wrote though my takeaway was that there was an implication that my kid cheated. We are friendly with the other kid's parents so I guess I didn't think they would make a big deal out of it but who knows. I will be giving them the side eye from here on out

Thanks for the feedback!

NO. That is what you must not do. You don't know why this parent asked. You only got a message from the coach. Don't be nasty.

If your daughter is already saying XC is “too intense” as a 6th grader, it’s because you are putting too much pressure on her. You’ve posted numerous times about her on this forum; I can only imagine what you are saying to her at home. Lay off.

I’m an experienced XC parent. I honestly do not believe a reputable coach would email a parent like you described in the initial post.



OP here - point taken, though it is somewhat upsetting to know that someone begrudges my kid her one moment of victory. Though she had a faster race the next race, but got smoked by the girl she beat in the latest race.

You're clearly new to the sport. Have you thought about why this bothers you so much? Was it a few seconds difference? I'm guessing it was closer than that because otherwise it wouldn't have been a question. DD has sometimes beaten kids by fractions of a second and in this situation if the times were so close I would not be confused or taken aback if someone who hadn't seen the race asked me the question.

Not new to this sport. I ran in high school though was not good but still love running. It was two seconds, and my kid has lost or won (against a runner, not overall) by fractions of a second. Neither of these girls was winning this race so it didn't matter for a medal or anything like that. I just looked it up and my daughter ran 11:04 and the other girl was 11:06, both placed in the high 30s.

I know why it bothers me. My kid had a really good, clean race and the response from the coach was to text asking if she really won. I didn't appreciate that but reading these is helping me see maybe I framed it the wrong way, but regardless coach didn't need to text.

OP, I meant to ask -- is your daughter in 8th grade? And was this a 1.5 mile race?

Hopefully, your daughter has a LONG way to go in this sport ... I hope all the parents chill out, and if you get a text like that from the coach again, just ignore it.

Thanks! 6th grade, 1.5 miles. I hope she sticks with it but already said she might be out next year because it's "too intense." And she doesn't know about the text.

It sounds like “too intense” is a reflection of you putting pressure on a 6th grader. Lay off. IMO.