Text from coach - what would you think

[Anonymous]

My middle school DD is on her second year on the cross country team. The school has a strong reputation for the sport and last year the girl's varsity won state, and they may repeat this year. There are runners of various abilities and last year my DD was in the top third overall, but placed behind 4-5 girls on her team. Her coach called her a "middle of the pack" runner. I am happy she has found a sport she likes and am fine with her not being some superstar runner.

This year she has placed higher, consistently beating girls who last year were ahead of her. She recently had a great race where she beat a girl who she had not previously passed in a race. The kids are chipped for times, and when I saw them about 15 feet before the finish line, my DD was slightly ahead of the other girl and the time came at the finish showed my DD beating this girl by two seconds. We congratulated her and her classmate on a great race, and went on with our lives.

Then I get a text from the coach asking if I had seen the actual finish because a parent had texted wondering if my DD actually beat the other kid. What would you think if you got a text like that?

[Anonymous]

I’d think you’re all nuts for caring so much about middle school cross country.

[Anonymous]

I would think the coach wanted photo proof to get the other bat$h!t parent off his back. I'm sure he knows from practices that your daughter could have indeed won.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d think you’re all nuts for caring so much about middle school cross country.

OP here - LOL. I think you are 1000 percent right. Still interested in anyone's perspective, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would think the coach wanted photo proof to get the other bat$h!t parent off his back. I'm sure he knows from practices that your daughter could have indeed won.

+1 yep likely this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would think the coach wanted photo proof to get the other bat$h!t parent off his back. I'm sure he knows from practices that your daughter could have indeed won.

+1 yep likely this

Yes other parent is crazy.

[Anonymous]

I would just text back - "Yes, DD crossed a few seconds before her. It's been so great to see her improvement this year - all her hard work is paying off!" And then don't think any more about it.

[Anonymous]

Coach, arent the kids chipped?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would just text back - "Yes, DD crossed a few seconds before her. It's been so great to see her improvement this year - all her hard work is paying off!" And then don't think any more about it.

OP here - That is pretty much what I wrote though my takeaway was that there was an implication that my kid cheated. We are friendly with the other kid's parents so I guess I didn't think they would make a big deal out of it but who knows. I will be giving them the side eye from here on out

Thanks for the feedback!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Coach, arent the kids chipped?

OP here - what I wanted to write!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just text back - "Yes, DD crossed a few seconds before her. It's been so great to see her improvement this year - all her hard work is paying off!" And then don't think any more about it.

OP here - That is pretty much what I wrote though my takeaway was that there was an implication that my kid cheated. We are friendly with the other kid's parents so I guess I didn't think they would make a big deal out of it but who knows. I will be giving them the side eye from here on out

Thanks for the feedback!

NO. That is what you must not do. You don't know why this parent asked. You only got a message from the coach. Don't be nasty.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think the coach should have texted you at all. That seems unprofessional. You can’t assume it is the other girl’s parents who said something. The coach maybe didn’t believe it him/herself and was trying to deflect. You literally don’t know.

How are the times recorded? Wouldn’t it be obvious that your DD won? Did you actually see her beat the other girl, the way you wrote your OP, it doesn’t sound like you did.

[Anonymous]

Coach never should have emailed you. He should have said that the kids are chipped and that is what the results said. I've asked many times in swimming and the coaches would never ask another parents about the results.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think the coach should have texted you at all. That seems unprofessional. You can’t assume it is the other girl’s parents who said something. The coach maybe didn’t believe it him/herself and was trying to deflect. You literally don’t know.

How are the times recorded? Wouldn’t it be obvious that your DD won? Did you actually see her beat the other girl, the way you wrote your OP, it doesn’t sound like you did.

The times are recorded by a chip on the racer's bib so yes, it is obvious who won. Sometimes kids get confused and miss a lap or something on the course and their times are taken out of the race because they are so unbelievable, but that is not what happened here. My kid's time dropped maybe 30 seconds which is well within the realm of possibility and the two girls were seen neck and neck throughout the course by different people, including another coach.

I agree the coach should not have brought this up at all. The coach is a mom of two girls who are top runners whose status as top runners is no way impacted by this, nor do we ever socialize or talk outside of this sport. So I was so confused by this text. And honestly kind of angry hence posting here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just text back - "Yes, DD crossed a few seconds before her. It's been so great to see her improvement this year - all her hard work is paying off!" And then don't think any more about it.

OP here - That is pretty much what I wrote though my takeaway was that there was an implication that my kid cheated. We are friendly with the other kid's parents so I guess I didn't think they would make a big deal out of it but who knows. I will be giving them the side eye from here on out

Thanks for the feedback!

NO. That is what you must not do. You don't know why this parent asked. You only got a message from the coach. Don't be nasty.

OP here - point taken, though it is somewhat upsetting to know that someone begrudges my kid her one moment of victory. Though she had a faster race the next race, but got smoked by the girl she beat in the latest race.