Is my irritation justified?

[Anonymous]

So everyone is fine with the later time but it’s inconvenient for you so you expect everyone else to change? Yes, I do think it’s whiny to be annoyed by this but I also think you should feel free to come less frequently and/or leave earlier.

[Anonymous]

“That’s too late for us, with the long drive. Let me know when there’s one with a start time of more like X-Y.”

“Sorry to miss out! Once again, the later start times are too late for us with all the driving. Let me know when there’s one with a start time of more like X-Y.”

“Oh no, another late start time! Sorry we have to miss, because the long drive makes the late start times too difficult for us. Let me know when there’s one with a start time of more like X-Y.”

[Anonymous]

Do you enjoy spending time with them? 4 hours in one day is a long time to drive for a 4-hour event. Can you drive there Saturday evening, sleep over, spend family time in the morning so that your teens don’t feel bad about missing out even if you leave a little before the end of the event? I know for us, we have a mix of family and close friends who attend our events, and I would think nothing of it if someone from far away had to leave early. I would be grateful they even came! And try to make it convenient for them by having them stay overnight before or after the event and break up the drive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your teens need to help out more so you aren’t as stressed. Can’t they do their own laundry? Can they drive?
I agree that it’s a lot for you, but if they want to make it work they can certainly assist you.

The teens feel like they're "missing out" because you always have to be the first ones to leave? Great, they can do more around the house and you'll be able to spend longer at family gatherings. If the house is clean and the kitchen stocked when it's time to leave for the relatives' house, they get to stay longer.

If they feel like they're "missing out" because they don't want to spend an entire day away from their friends, you have an excuse to spend less time at the Sunday get-togethers or to attend fewer of them.

[Anonymous]

My mom is from Appalachia. Growing up, we had to go back and visit at least every three weeks.
It got to be less when we were teens though. My mom is one of eleven, and all of my cousins visited less as teens and young adults than we did as children or even as adults with our own families. It’s just a busy time of life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My extended family includes:
sister, kids are grown and independent except one 22 year old with special needs who lives with her. She (sister) is a widow and doesn’t work.
brother 1, youngest is a senior, others are grown and independent. he owns 2 businesses, wife doesn’t work.
brother 2, married, no kids. he and his spouse work from home.
me, single mom, 2 teens, work full time out of the house

Family gatherings are always on Sundays. When all the kids were younger, we did things early in the day (brother 2 and I both live an hour to two hours away from
everyone else).
Now that everyone else’s kids are grown, sundays are getting later and further away. I am dreading 4 hours in the car today when I have unending laundry to get done and prep for the week ahead. I know when I am the first one to leave everyone is going to ask us to stay longer and my kids will be irritated that we’re “missing out” again.
I love my family dearly but I’m beginning to resent this set up.
Moving things to Saturdays in a non-starter since brother 1 only has Sundays off. And none of them are willing to make the long drive to my place or brother 2 on an even semi-regular basis.
So, am I just being whiny or am i justified in my annoyance?

You are justified and this is why.

[Anonymous]

I would honestly choose a few weekends that work for me and plan on taking that Monday morning off to catch up. It won't kill you to stay late a few times occasionally, but there is no way I would be doing this once a week or every other week.