What percent of people do you know weren't financially supporting their parents before they turned 40?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Usually it goes the other way, unless they're immigrants

+1

And I'm Asian-American

[Anonymous]

They just aren’t telling you! This issue is drenched in shame.

[Anonymous]

I think white people don’t talk about it as much. I pay my mom’s mortgage at 37, and we are very grateful for some informal help as a grandparent but it’s a ton of money

[Anonymous]

+1 to all the other plus ones.

You must be around a lot of poor people.

[Anonymous]

I know one person who bought a house for a parent who would otherwise be homeless. I’m sure others are quietly helping parents and don’t speak about it publicly.

[Anonymous]

I have friends I've had for 15 years that I didn't find out help their parents until recently.

It's always go bizarre to me that people assume the only time x happens is when they know it. This is not a thing people share a lot. So you may know 0-1 people. But that by no means 0-1 people you know are in this situation.

[Anonymous]

I don't ask my friends about their financial situations. It's weird that you know these things, OP.

[Anonymous]

No one that I know of. I guess it depends o what you mean by help. We definitely have done stuff for years like buy them nice kitchen stuff, give them gift certificates, pay to bring them on vacation with us — subtle ways to subsidize their lifestyle. But not paying their mortgage until they hit 90, which meant kids in 60s. I think most of us also paid back our college money, which was expected in my family.

My paresnts definitely weren’t rich but like many in their generation had a pension which met the basics until they were decades past retirement with no COLA. It’s not enough now to cover their needs and savings are pretty well exhausted.

I can see where parents with no pension would be in a tougher spot sooner. But most of the older Americans, even blue collar, had pensions.

[Anonymous]

I've heard a few people mention something in passing about parents that would indicate support, like commenting about parents moving in with them, but I have no idea what the numbers are or how much support.

Regarding cultural tendencies: my parents definitely helped both of their parents - bought their houses, paid their utility bills, bought them clothes and such - but turned things around in their generation such that they won't accept (and really don't need) help from us. White family with 3-5 generations in the US, before that family was from various western European countries. Both families were definitely working class until my parents, who grew into the middle / upper middle class. We are DCUM "barely making it" but doing well by any other measure.

[Anonymous]

This would go better if it was phrased, “what is your background and what percentage of your friends are supporting their parents by the time they turn 40”

[Anonymous]

Anyone who is 1st generation rich (often thanks to their parents' hard work) should be supporting their parents.

[Anonymous]

I'm 50, first gen American on both sides (from different countries) and don't know anyone who has supported their parents financially.

[Anonymous]

I know people who support their parents but most of them do it by buying their parents a place to live. And the house is jointly titled or in the adult kids name. So yes they are supporting their parents but theya re putting it into a house

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one that I know of. I guess it depends o what you mean by help. We definitely have done stuff for years like buy them nice kitchen stuff, give them gift certificates, pay to bring them on vacation with us — subtle ways to subsidize their lifestyle. But not paying their mortgage until they hit 90, which meant kids in 60s. I think most of us also paid back our college money, which was expected in my family.

My paresnts definitely weren’t rich but like many in their generation had a pension which met the basics until they were decades past retirement with no COLA. It’s not enough now to cover their needs and savings are pretty well exhausted.

I can see where parents with no pension would be in a tougher spot sooner. But most of the older Americans, even blue collar, had pensions.

By what age do the kids usually pay back the college money?

[Anonymous]

I know one person in their 40s, white family, not immigrants.