My SIL overheard my MIL telling her best friend that she's asked for a divorce multiple times from FIL and she told me..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
There is a moral obligation to tell him.

If roles were reversed, I would want to know.

Given what you've described, it wouldn't be an enormous surprise.

I would not. Dh would also not run to spread personal gossip he overheard to me, even if it was my mom complaining about my dad. But it sounds like families differ and some like to be meddlesome gossips while others respect privacy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
There is a moral obligation to tell him.

If roles were reversed, I would want to know.

Given what you've described, it wouldn't be an enormous surprise.

I would not. Dh would also not run to spread personal gossip he overheard to me, even if it was my mom complaining about my dad. But it sounds like families differ and some like to be meddlesome gossips while others respect privacy.

I strongly disagree. This is not gossip. It's important information regarding your/spouse's parents' happiness. I would want to know. My husband would want to know. Privacy is stupid if it stops you from helping or at least being aware of issues so you can jump in to help if needed. You're unwise and short-sighted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
There is a moral obligation to tell him.

If roles were reversed, I would want to know.

Given what you've described, it wouldn't be an enormous surprise.

I would not. Dh would also not run to spread personal gossip he overheard to me, even if it was my mom complaining about my dad. But it sounds like families differ and some like to be meddlesome gossips while others respect privacy.

I strongly disagree. This is not gossip. It's important information regarding your/spouse's parents' happiness. I would want to know. My husband would want to know. Privacy is stupid if it stops you from helping or at least being aware of issues so you can jump in to help if needed. You're unwise and short-sighted.

You think you can jump in to help your parents' marriage happiness?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
There is a moral obligation to tell him.

If roles were reversed, I would want to know.

Given what you've described, it wouldn't be an enormous surprise.

I would not. Dh would also not run to spread personal gossip he overheard to me, even if it was my mom complaining about my dad. But it sounds like families differ and some like to be meddlesome gossips while others respect privacy.

I strongly disagree. This is not gossip. It's important information regarding your/spouse's parents' happiness. I would want to know. My husband would want to know. Privacy is stupid if it stops you from helping or at least being aware of issues so you can jump in to help if needed. You're unwise and short-sighted.

You think the adult children are going to help their parent’s marital issues?

[Anonymous]

I mean my mom said she was going to divorce my dad all the time. Spoiler alert — she never did. I would not assume this was more than venting. I might just tell my husband that SIL apparently overheard some venting and it sounds like things are a little rocky between them. He can then do whatever he wants to do.

[Anonymous]

Unless you directly heard this I would keep mum. Don’t pass on gossip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d stay clued in to how retirement is going and current issues. That’s all.

This.

[Anonymous]

Just because your FIL said NO to the divorce doesn’t mean your MIL can’t file. I think she is venting.

[Anonymous]

You guys saying not to tell or you wouldn’t tell are ridiculous. Of course you would tell your husband. You should also say that it was overheard, doesn’t mean it’s true, MIL could get a divorce if se really wanted one, etc. But OF COURSE you should tell your husband. He’s likely to find out SIL told you either from SIL or from SIL’s husband.

The issue is the SIL- what on earth made her tell you this? I’d watch that one. Don’t tell her any secrets!

[Anonymous]

No one’s marriage is your business.

Possibilities that aren’t finalized aren’t inevitable.

If this happens, it’s not YOUR news to share.

Get a life and stay in your lane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one’s marriage is your business.

Possibilities that aren’t finalized aren’t inevitable.

If this happens, it’s not YOUR news to share.

Get a life and stay in your lane.

But OP's marriage is her business - and it seems strange to keep such information from her own husband!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless you directly heard this I would keep mum. Don’t pass on gossip.

OP - this is about your marriage - and what you share with your DH and the level and intimacy and trust you have. You are not "spreading" gossip in this context ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would 100% tell my husband this.

Perhaps I shouldn't have found out, that is fine, but in this scenario, because SIL told you, there is a distinct possibility that your DH could find out you knew and didn't tell him (SIL tells BIL who tells DH that SIL told you).

Your loyalty in this situation is to your DH, no one else. You are a team. You tell him gently with compassion and follow his lead.

Do not allow your SIL's gossiping to allow you to keep a secret from your DH about his own family.

This is the only correct answer.

[Anonymous]

OP is relishing her role in this little soap opera.

[Anonymous]

100% put it out of your mind. It is not your business. The best rule of having in-laws is worry about your drama, not theirs.