My SIL overheard my MIL telling her best friend that she's asked for a divorce multiple times from FIL and she told me..
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
Do I tell my DH? SIL is DH's brother's wife for context, not DH's sister.
SIL and BIL are on vacation with FIL and MIL and some close family friends. SIL was going to sleep last night with the window open and MIL and her best friend were talking. MIL told friend that she is so unhappy and wants a divorce and keeps bringing it up with FIL, but he says no. It's their 40th anniversary this month and over the last two years they've had a total breakdown of communication and have gotten really passive aggressive with each other. I've known them for 20 years and they were always the happy go lucky, fun loving couple I aspired to be until the stress of their parents getting sick and dying shortly followed by disagreeing on retirement plans (and still do even though they are 3+ years into retirement). Ugh now that I know this information, do I tell DH? He would be SHOCKED to hear this, but it doesn't feel right to know something about his parents he doesn't. |
Anonymous
| Nope, not your info to share. You don't know to what degree MIL was venting to the extreme or if she is ready to share. |
Anonymous
| I would tell him so he's not blindsided. |
Anonymous
| Nope. You don't know anything. You know what one person claims they overheard. |
Anonymous
|
No clues or any lead up to their issues 24 mos ago and onward.
If that’s true it seems like some acute issue happened? Maybe therapy could help? But if it’s issue(s) that we’re building for years and decades, that’s more difficult to come back from. I’d assume SIl will tell her spouse, the brother of yours? Is she sure of what she overheard? I’d heavily caveat anything I’d repeat to others. Lots of people complain and throw this out and go to lawyers and full circle into not divorcing. |
Anonymous
| I would talk to MIL privately. I would explain that I heard what she said to her friend about wanting a divorce from FIL. I would explain that you can't keep secrets from DH but that you think that he would received the information better coming from her. You'll give her X amount of time before you tell him what you know, so she has that long to tell him first or leave it to you to tell him. |
Anonymous
| I’d stay clued in to how retirement is going and current issues. That’s all. |
Anonymous
Drama llama |
Anonymous
Don't do this, OP. You know their rx is not in a great place right now. Your DH should know that too, if paying attention. Stay out of it. |
Anonymous
|
No. You say nothing. You didn't hear this. Your SIL did. And guess what - if the MIL REALLY wanted to get divorced she COULD. She doesnt need her husband's permission. Maybe she was making the point that she's broached divorce when her DH seems unhappy and he has said, no, he wants to work on things.
Stay out of it |
Anonymous
omg no dont do this |
Anonymous
...if anyone ever gave me an ultimatum about airing my business they eavesdropped, they would be permanently out of my favor. People have a right to talk things out with a friend that doesn't involve informing their children. |
Anonymous
|
There is a moral obligation to tell him. If roles were reversed, I would want to know. Given what you've described, it wouldn't be an enormous surprise. |
Anonymous
| Of course, I would tell my husband! |
Anonymous
|
I would 100% tell my husband this.
Perhaps I shouldn't have found out, that is fine, but in this scenario, because SIL told you, there is a distinct possibility that your DH could find out you knew and didn't tell him (SIL tells BIL who tells DH that SIL told you). Your loyalty in this situation is to your DH, no one else. You are a team. You tell him gently with compassion and follow his lead. Do not allow your SIL's gossiping to allow you to keep a secret from your DH about his own family. |