Lending Money, What Would You Do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend asked for money. I have it but I don't want to give it. Should I? AITA for not sending it when she's in need?

My friend lives in South America. I lived in her country for a couple of years after college, studying and teaching English. That's how we met. We've stayed in touch for the last 15 years, visiting each other a few times over the years. We text weekly and facetime sometimes. Her country has been having economic problems , particularly high inflation, for a number of years. About 4 years ago, I lent her and her husband $5,000. She had lost her retail business and they had business loans in dollars, but their currency had been devalued. They needed money. They have not paid me back, which is fine. They are not in a position to be able to and I don't expect them to ever pay me back. Now, she's asked me for a $3,000 loan. I'm doing well and have a lot more than $3k in my personal short term savings, but I just don't want to send it. I have young children, we are saving for home renovations and anticipated medical expenses, and I like having a cushion. I know I should be generous. I come from low income background and while it's not at all like what my friend is going through, I can empathize with needing money for basics. My philosophy is to only lend money I don't mind losing and I would be upset losing this money. My friend is very worried and I'm not sure what they are going to do. What would you do?

What advice are you expecting from an individualistic forum full of stingy people?
You know what they are going to tell you: Don't give her money, use your money for yourself, etc...

My advice would be to help your friend. When a friend goes through hardship and I have money and I can help, I give what I can afford to help them.
I have often given more money to charity when I didn't even know if that money ended up being used to really help people (most of the time that money benefits the non-profit executives more). If that money was even used to actually help people, it would be stranger that I didn't even know.
That's why I have no problems being generous and help people that I care about. Do the same OP.

OP already gave her friend $5000. Perhaps you can give OP your contact information and she can send it to your friend since you have seem to have more money than sense.

I feel sorry for you if $5000 is a lot of money. For me it’s not.

DP. Prove it and make arrangements to help out OP’s friend.

[Anonymous]

Just say you’d love to help but are not in a financial position to do so right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend asked for money. I have it but I don't want to give it. Should I? AITA for not sending it when she's in need?

My friend lives in South America. I lived in her country for a couple of years after college, studying and teaching English. That's how we met. We've stayed in touch for the last 15 years, visiting each other a few times over the years. We text weekly and facetime sometimes. Her country has been having economic problems , particularly high inflation, for a number of years. About 4 years ago, I lent her and her husband $5,000. She had lost her retail business and they had business loans in dollars, but their currency had been devalued. They needed money. They have not paid me back, which is fine. They are not in a position to be able to and I don't expect them to ever pay me back. Now, she's asked me for a $3,000 loan. I'm doing well and have a lot more than $3k in my personal short term savings, but I just don't want to send it. I have young children, we are saving for home renovations and anticipated medical expenses, and I like having a cushion. I know I should be generous. I come from low income background and while it's not at all like what my friend is going through, I can empathize with needing money for basics. My philosophy is to only lend money I don't mind losing and I would be upset losing this money. My friend is very worried and I'm not sure what they are going to do. What would you do?

What advice are you expecting from an individualistic forum full of stingy people?
You know what they are going to tell you: Don't give her money, use your money for yourself, etc...

My advice would be to help your friend. When a friend goes through hardship and I have money and I can help, I give what I can afford to help them.
I have often given more money to charity when I didn't even know if that money ended up being used to really help people (most of the time that money benefits the non-profit executives more). If that money was even used to actually help people, it would be stranger that I didn't even know.
That's why I have no problems being generous and help people that I care about. Do the same OP.

OP already gave her friend $5000. Perhaps you can give OP your contact information and she can send it to your friend since you have seem to have more money than sense.

I feel sorry for you if $5000 is a lot of money. For me it’s not.

DP. Prove it and make arrangements to help out OP’s friend.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Op already lend her friend $5000 and the friend never return it back

Op need the money for her family

I d say no. I d also remind her about the $5000 that she hasn’t return. I d said sorry, I love and I d love to help you that’s why I lend you $5000 and awaiting patiently for you to return it despite my need to have that money back. I put your need ahead of mine once. But at this time, I m not in the position todo that to my family. Our home is in desperate need to renovation/ repair. We need every pennie for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why you shouldn’t socialize outside your class

Kind of true, unless you are very generous. She thinks you are a rich American? Isn’t $3k a TON of money in South America?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend asked for money. I have it but I don't want to give it. Should I? AITA for not sending it when she's in need?

My friend lives in South America. I lived in her country for a couple of years after college, studying and teaching English. That's how we met. We've stayed in touch for the last 15 years, visiting each other a few times over the years. We text weekly and facetime sometimes. Her country has been having economic problems , particularly high inflation, for a number of years. About 4 years ago, I lent her and her husband $5,000. She had lost her retail business and they had business loans in dollars, but their currency had been devalued. They needed money. They have not paid me back, which is fine. They are not in a position to be able to and I don't expect them to ever pay me back. Now, she's asked me for a $3,000 loan. I'm doing well and have a lot more than $3k in my personal short term savings, but I just don't want to send it. I have young children, we are saving for home renovations and anticipated medical expenses, and I like having a cushion. I know I should be generous. I come from low income background and while it's not at all like what my friend is going through, I can empathize with needing money for basics. My philosophy is to only lend money I don't mind losing and I would be upset losing this money. My friend is very worried and I'm not sure what they are going to do. What would you do?

What advice are you expecting from an individualistic forum full of stingy people?
You know what they are going to tell you: Don't give her money, use your money for yourself, etc...

My advice would be to help your friend. When a friend goes through hardship and I have money and I can help, I give what I can afford to help them.
I have often given more money to charity when I didn't even know if that money ended up being used to really help people (most of the time that money benefits the non-profit executives more). If that money was even used to actually help people, it would be stranger that I didn't even know.
That's why I have no problems being generous and help people that I care about. Do the same OP.

OP already gave her friend $5000. Perhaps you can give OP your contact information and she can send it to your friend since you have seem to have more money than sense.

I feel sorry for you if $5000 is a lot of money. For me it’s not.

It’s not for me either, but friends don’t ask friends for loans.

[Anonymous]

I would loan money to a friend or family member but I would not loan again if they did not pay me back. When friends or family members start to view you as a bank with no qualifying requirements the relationship has been corrupted and there's not much you can do to bring it back to what it was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend asked for money. I have it but I don't want to give it. Should I? AITA for not sending it when she's in need?

My friend lives in South America. I lived in her country for a couple of years after college, studying and teaching English. That's how we met. We've stayed in touch for the last 15 years, visiting each other a few times over the years. We text weekly and facetime sometimes. Her country has been having economic problems , particularly high inflation, for a number of years. About 4 years ago, I lent her and her husband $5,000. She had lost her retail business and they had business loans in dollars, but their currency had been devalued. They needed money. They have not paid me back, which is fine. They are not in a position to be able to and I don't expect them to ever pay me back. Now, she's asked me for a $3,000 loan. I'm doing well and have a lot more than $3k in my personal short term savings, but I just don't want to send it. I have young children, we are saving for home renovations and anticipated medical expenses, and I like having a cushion. I know I should be generous. I come from low income background and while it's not at all like what my friend is going through, I can empathize with needing money for basics. My philosophy is to only lend money I don't mind losing and I would be upset losing this money. My friend is very worried and I'm not sure what they are going to do. What would you do?

What advice are you expecting from an individualistic forum full of stingy people?
You know what they are going to tell you: Don't give her money, use your money for yourself, etc...

My advice would be to help your friend. When a friend goes through hardship and I have money and I can help, I give what I can afford to help them.
I have often given more money to charity when I didn't even know if that money ended up being used to really help people (most of the time that money benefits the non-profit executives more). If that money was even used to actually help people, it would be stranger that I didn't even know.
That's why I have no problems being generous and help people that I care about. Do the same OP.

OP already gave her friend $5000. Perhaps you can give OP your contact information and she can send it to your friend since you have seem to have more money than sense.

I feel sorry for you if $5000 is a lot of money. For me it’s not.

DP. Prove it and make arrangements to help out OP’s friend.

+1
Let’s see you put your money where your mouth is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend asked for money. I have it but I don't want to give it. Should I? AITA for not sending it when she's in need?

My friend lives in South America. I lived in her country for a couple of years after college, studying and teaching English. That's how we met. We've stayed in touch for the last 15 years, visiting each other a few times over the years. We text weekly and facetime sometimes. Her country has been having economic problems , particularly high inflation, for a number of years. About 4 years ago, I lent her and her husband $5,000. She had lost her retail business and they had business loans in dollars, but their currency had been devalued. They needed money. They have not paid me back, which is fine. They are not in a position to be able to and I don't expect them to ever pay me back. Now, she's asked me for a $3,000 loan. I'm doing well and have a lot more than $3k in my personal short term savings, but I just don't want to send it. I have young children, we are saving for home renovations and anticipated medical expenses, and I like having a cushion. I know I should be generous. I come from low income background and while it's not at all like what my friend is going through, I can empathize with needing money for basics. My philosophy is to only lend money I don't mind losing and I would be upset losing this money. My friend is very worried and I'm not sure what they are going to do. What would you do?

What advice are you expecting from an individualistic forum full of stingy people?
You know what they are going to tell you: Don't give her money, use your money for yourself, etc...

My advice would be to help your friend. When a friend goes through hardship and I have money and I can help, I give what I can afford to help them.
I have often given more money to charity when I didn't even know if that money ended up being used to really help people (most of the time that money benefits the non-profit executives more). If that money was even used to actually help people, it would be stranger that I didn't even know.
That's why I have no problems being generous and help people that I care about. Do the same OP.

OP already gave her friend $5000. Perhaps you can give OP your contact information and she can send it to your friend since you have seem to have more money than sense.

I feel sorry for you if $5000 is a lot of money. For me it’s not.

DP When you say thing like that you are proving that you have more money than sense. Very tone deaf and tactless. There are actually many of us out here for whom $5000 is a lot of money, but don't feel sorry for us, probably most of us are better off than you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend asked for money. I have it but I don't want to give it. Should I? AITA for not sending it when she's in need?

My friend lives in South America. I lived in her country for a couple of years after college, studying and teaching English. That's how we met. We've stayed in touch for the last 15 years, visiting each other a few times over the years. We text weekly and facetime sometimes. Her country has been having economic problems , particularly high inflation, for a number of years. About 4 years ago, I lent her and her husband $5,000. She had lost her retail business and they had business loans in dollars, but their currency had been devalued. They needed money. They have not paid me back, which is fine. They are not in a position to be able to and I don't expect them to ever pay me back. Now, she's asked me for a $3,000 loan. I'm doing well and have a lot more than $3k in my personal short term savings, but I just don't want to send it. I have young children, we are saving for home renovations and anticipated medical expenses, and I like having a cushion. I know I should be generous. I come from low income background and while it's not at all like what my friend is going through, I can empathize with needing money for basics. My philosophy is to only lend money I don't mind losing and I would be upset losing this money. My friend is very worried and I'm not sure what they are going to do. What would you do?

What advice are you expecting from an individualistic forum full of stingy people?
You know what they are going to tell you: Don't give her money, use your money for yourself, etc...

My advice would be to help your friend. When a friend goes through hardship and I have money and I can help, I give what I can afford to help them.
I have often given more money to charity when I didn't even know if that money ended up being used to really help people (most of the time that money benefits the non-profit executives more). If that money was even used to actually help people, it would be stranger that I didn't even know.
That's why I have no problems being generous and help people that I care about. Do the same OP.

Hey, I could use $2000. Please send it (after you send $3K to OP's friend), since you aren't individualistic and stingy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think that this is a question where the input of others is helpful as everyone’s financial situation is different. You need to do what is comfortable for you here.

That said, we are wealthy. I wouldn’t notice $5k and I’d give it.

*Do* you give money when people ask?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend asked for money. I have it but I don't want to give it. Should I? AITA for not sending it when she's in need?

My friend lives in South America. I lived in her country for a couple of years after college, studying and teaching English. That's how we met. We've stayed in touch for the last 15 years, visiting each other a few times over the years. We text weekly and facetime sometimes. Her country has been having economic problems , particularly high inflation, for a number of years. About 4 years ago, I lent her and her husband $5,000. She had lost her retail business and they had business loans in dollars, but their currency had been devalued. They needed money. They have not paid me back, which is fine. They are not in a position to be able to and I don't expect them to ever pay me back. Now, she's asked me for a $3,000 loan. I'm doing well and have a lot more than $3k in my personal short term savings, but I just don't want to send it. I have young children, we are saving for home renovations and anticipated medical expenses, and I like having a cushion. I know I should be generous. I come from low income background and while it's not at all like what my friend is going through, I can empathize with needing money for basics. My philosophy is to only lend money I don't mind losing and I would be upset losing this money. My friend is very worried and I'm not sure what they are going to do. What would you do?

What advice are you expecting from an individualistic forum full of stingy people?
You know what they are going to tell you: Don't give her money, use your money for yourself, etc...

My advice would be to help your friend. When a friend goes through hardship and I have money and I can help, I give what I can afford to help them.
I have often given more money to charity when I didn't even know if that money ended up being used to really help people (most of the time that money benefits the non-profit executives more). If that money was even used to actually help people, it would be stranger that I didn't even know.
That's why I have no problems being generous and help people that I care about. Do the same OP.

OP already gave her friend $5000. Perhaps you can give OP your contact information and she can send it to your friend since you have seem to have more money than sense.

I feel sorry for you if $5000 is a lot of money. For me it’s not.

NP - That’s nice troll. 5k for me isn’t even a mortgage payment but that’s because my mindset is to be smart with money. Not give it away to every pan handler like you.

[Anonymous]

Only what you feel comfortable as a gift.
Loan between friends rarely work out, especially when she’s defaulted on one already

[Anonymous]

Don't do it. If they're always broke and never have any money, how are they ever going to have enough cash to pay you back?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend asked for money. I have it but I don't want to give it. Should I? AITA for not sending it when she's in need?

My friend lives in South America. I lived in her country for a couple of years after college, studying and teaching English. That's how we met. We've stayed in touch for the last 15 years, visiting each other a few times over the years. We text weekly and facetime sometimes. Her country has been having economic problems , particularly high inflation, for a number of years. About 4 years ago, I lent her and her husband $5,000. She had lost her retail business and they had business loans in dollars, but their currency had been devalued. They needed money. They have not paid me back, which is fine. They are not in a position to be able to and I don't expect them to ever pay me back. Now, she's asked me for a $3,000 loan. I'm doing well and have a lot more than $3k in my personal short term savings, but I just don't want to send it. I have young children, we are saving for home renovations and anticipated medical expenses, and I like having a cushion. I know I should be generous. I come from low income background and while it's not at all like what my friend is going through, I can empathize with needing money for basics. My philosophy is to only lend money I don't mind losing and I would be upset losing this money. My friend is very worried and I'm not sure what they are going to do. What would you do?

What advice are you expecting from an individualistic forum full of stingy people?
You know what they are going to tell you: Don't give her money, use your money for yourself, etc...

My advice would be to help your friend. When a friend goes through hardship and I have money and I can help, I give what I can afford to help them.
I have often given more money to charity when I didn't even know if that money ended up being used to really help people (most of the time that money benefits the non-profit executives more). If that money was even used to actually help people, it would be stranger that I didn't even know.
That's why I have no problems being generous and help people that I care about. Do the same OP.

OP already gave her friend $5000. Perhaps you can give OP your contact information and she can send it to your friend since you have seem to have more money than sense.

I feel sorry for you if $5000 is a lot of money. For me it’s not.

$5000 is a lot of money.