Pulling 13 year old from travel sport

[Anonymous]

He is 13 years old and this is a decision he can make for himself. Talk to him about what he wants to do.

[Anonymous]

I would pull him now. One season could be enough to get him more influenced by this peer group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is 13 years old and this is a decision he can make for himself. Talk to him about what he wants to do.

+1 I’d have a frank discussion with him about how he’s thinking about the year ahead. If your kid likes the activity and is willingly participating in all aspects of the team, I would wait it out. Not being the best on the team and not having a body type for long-term success aren’t reasons to pull a 13-year old out of an activity they enjoy.

FWIW, my teen decided to leave an all-consuming pastime to focus on high school sports. It was close to a year after I saw it coming, but I’m really glad it was my teen’s decision, not a decision mom made for them.

[Anonymous]

Those “fast” type of kids are everywhere, and will be for years to come…no? I have 14yo twins and those kids seem to be everywhere- sports, school, neighborhood etc. Not entirely avoidable. Id talk to him about expected standards of behavior (don’t ever accept excuses- HE alone is responsible for his behavior) and work on his self esteem.

As for the travel sport- I’d let him make the decision if the time/$ spent on it is not an issue for you. Surely he does not enjoy sitting…but I have btdt and let my DS stay on a team like that (his choice) even though we preferred he leave. He eventually tired of it and decided himself to move to a different team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a skeptical of this story as a veteran of club sports in multiple sports — the details don’t add up — but if it’s true, OP needs to either switch to a different club or play rec. This can be done without drama (which probably would not serve OP). “This isn’t a good fit and here are some better options. What do you want to do?”

Which part are you skeptical of?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait so every player that is better than your son is getting shamed? Wtf does all of them being in the fast crowd mean?

You moms are so condescending towards other kids it’s insane.

Can’t wait until this “shame” trendy word goes away.

I don’t think being the best athlete equals the fast crowd. But it sounds like his team has players that are a clique and part of a fast crowd. He’s desperate to fit in so he will accept the alcohol and weed and whatever to fit in with the crowd he travels with. He will join in on some behavior that might be considered cruel. In other words he’s in with the wrong crowd. Recreation will be less pressure and less pressure to join in bad behavior.

[Anonymous]

We had a similar situation with our 12 yr old DD. She played on her travel team for 3 years and it became apparent that it wasn’t the right fit anymore. Hard to walk away but in the end moving to rec was the best thing for her performance-wise and socially. Trust your gut.

[Anonymous]

Travel sports are a huge time and money suck. If my kid wasn't completely obsessed with it and super talented no way would I bother doing any of it. Leaving aside the "fast crowd." Why would you continue? Rec league sounds more his and your speed. I'd just steer him that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait so every player that is better than your son is getting shamed? Wtf does all of them being in the fast crowd mean?

You moms are so condescending towards other kids it’s insane.

Since apparently you aren't very smart or just dense, I'll spell it out for you.

The faster crowd at age 13 is already dabbling in shoplifting, vaping, drinking, and getting blow jobs from girls.

You're welcome.

You forgot porn on computers and online bullying

NP and sorry but those were years ago. Unfortunately the drinking, drugs, sex and shoplifting for fun are real and rampant. I didn’t believe it until my kid started telling stories and got caught up in some of this at 14. Yes, through his sports team.

If this is what you mean by a fast crowd then do your best to encourage other activities but it’s going to have to come from your son. The advice about laying out facts and seeing if he’s willing to switch teams (maybe rec) or focus on other sports for more playing time is good advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait so every player that is better than your son is getting shamed? Wtf does all of them being in the fast crowd mean?

You moms are so condescending towards other kids it’s insane.

Since apparently you aren't very smart or just dense, I'll spell it out for you.

The faster crowd at age 13 is already dabbling in shoplifting, vaping, drinking, and getting blow jobs from girls.

You're welcome.

You forgot porn on computers and online bullying

NP and sorry but those were years ago. Unfortunately the drinking, drugs, sex and shoplifting for fun are real and rampant. I didn’t believe it until my kid started telling stories and got caught up in some of this at 14. Yes, through his sports team.

If this is what you mean by a fast crowd then do your best to encourage other activities but it’s going to have to come from your son. The advice about laying out facts and seeing if he’s willing to switch teams (maybe rec) or focus on other sports for more playing time is good advice.

He doesn't need to be "willing" to switch teams. They are his parents, they get to decide.

[Anonymous]

The whole travel league thing is a joke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait so every player that is better than your son is getting shamed? Wtf does all of them being in the fast crowd mean?

You moms are so condescending towards other kids it’s insane.

Since apparently you aren't very smart or just dense, I'll spell it out for you.

The faster crowd at age 13 is already dabbling in shoplifting, vaping, drinking, and getting blow jobs from girls.

You're welcome.

You forgot porn on computers and online bullying

NP and sorry but those were years ago. Unfortunately the drinking, drugs, sex and shoplifting for fun are real and rampant. I didn’t believe it until my kid started telling stories and got caught up in some of this at 14. Yes, through his sports team.

If this is what you mean by a fast crowd then do your best to encourage other activities but it’s going to have to come from your son. The advice about laying out facts and seeing if he’s willing to switch teams (maybe rec) or focus on other sports for more playing time is good advice.

He doesn't need to be "willing" to switch teams. They are his parents, they get to decide.

That’s true but it’s a lot easier if you have his buy in and can convince him with the idea of more playing time rather than getting away from “those kids.”

[Anonymous]

He doesn't need to be "willing" to switch teams. They are his parents, they get to decide.


That’s true but it’s a lot easier if you have his buy in and can convince him with the idea of more playing time rather than getting away from “those kids.”

That's technically true, but unless you have the kid's buy in, there is a good chance that he will decide to drop the sport. You can't force a 13 year old to do a sport with a group of people he doesn't want to be with. Ask me how I know - I encouraged my kid to switch travel teams, and as a result, he dropped the travel sport and switched to a no cut school sport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The whole travel league thing is a joke.

I mean, yes it’s a shame that Rec leagues can’t have A teams and B teams but my kids (who are just average players who care) got really tired of kids showing up to Rec having never played, missing half the practices and games, not paying attention, not hustling on the field, especially past the age of 11 or so. The only way to get away from this sadly is travel.

[Anonymous]

Well it’s hard to give advice bc OP just says the kids are “a bit faster.” Who knows what she means exactly.

OP really seems to be saying that her kid is the worst on the team and that’s embarrassing for her to watch so she wants to pull him.

She says the kids enjoys it.