Pulling 13 year old from travel sport

[Anonymous]

My DS was the last kid to get selected for the travel basketball team. We don't love the other kids on the team- they move in a bit of a faster crowd. DS is trying to emulate their behaviors to fit in and has low social status since he's the worst player. DS usually only gets played for a few minutes per game since he is the low man on the totem pole. We are super short so he will probably be lucky if he eventually reaches 5'8- so his future is probably not in this sport. He does enjoy it though...would you discourage him or not have him try out again knowing all this? He does have other sports he enjoys and gets a lot more time playing when he does the rec league.

[Anonymous]

I would do the rec league

[Anonymous]

I would not try out next year, but do not make it about his perceived low status, destiny of being short, or the other kids being too fast. I would just say "travel league is a huge time and money commitment, and you seem to have more fun playing X sport and get more court time doing rec league basketball. Which one do you want to focus on next year, or do you want to try something different?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not try out next year, but do not make it about his perceived low status, destiny of being short, or the other kids being too fast. I would just say "travel league is a huge time and money commitment, and you seem to have more fun playing X sport and get more court time doing rec league basketball. Which one do you want to focus on next year, or do you want to try something different?"

As someone who has been through a similar situation with my DS as OP, I like this advice.

[Anonymous]

Definitely do Rec league.

[Anonymous]

Never a bad move to distance your kid from a fast crowd.

[Anonymous]

Wait so every player that is better than your son is getting shamed? Wtf does all of them being in the fast crowd mean?

You moms are so condescending towards other kids it’s insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait so every player that is better than your son is getting shamed? Wtf does all of them being in the fast crowd mean?

You moms are so condescending towards other kids it’s insane.

Sensitive much? People are responding top OP's observations about her son's behavior with his teammates.

[Anonymous]

Trust your gut. If the travel team has a bad crowd, get him out of there ASAP.

[Anonymous]

Ask him what he wants.

[Anonymous]

at 13 your child is old enough to talk to about the behaviors (his and others) you see that you do not like or accept in your household. if you pull him out for more nebulous reasons, what has he learned, about himself and others, and wont he be confused? he is too old to be lied to IMO.

work with him think critically about what he is doing, and why, and how does that make him feel? have him think about how he feels when he plays rec and other sports vs being on this team. his feelings are already being hurt by the team, which is making him act the way he is - don't gloss over that. this a perfect opportunity for you to help him learn to value himself.

then, pull him or tell him you are uncomfortable with this team and give him other options. but make him part of the conversation.

[Anonymous]

WhT does your kid think? At this age you need to start to transition to allowing him some autonomy over himself. None of this sound like dramatic enough reason to implement Authoritarian parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait so every player that is better than your son is getting shamed? Wtf does all of them being in the fast crowd mean?

You moms are so condescending towards other kids it’s insane.

Since apparently you aren't very smart or just dense, I'll spell it out for you.

The faster crowd at age 13 is already dabbling in shoplifting, vaping, drinking, and getting blow jobs from girls.

You're welcome.

[Anonymous]

I’m a skeptical of this story as a veteran of club sports in multiple sports — the details don’t add up — but if it’s true, OP needs to either switch to a different club or play rec. This can be done without drama (which probably would not serve OP). “This isn’t a good fit and here are some better options. What do you want to do?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait so every player that is better than your son is getting shamed? Wtf does all of them being in the fast crowd mean?

You moms are so condescending towards other kids it’s insane.

Since apparently you aren't very smart or just dense, I'll spell it out for you.

The faster crowd at age 13 is already dabbling in shoplifting, vaping, drinking, and getting blow jobs from girls.

You're welcome.

You forgot porn on computers and online bullying