Plan with me your perfect IL/AL/Memory care/Nursing home for when the time comes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I would like to add another "component" for many families across the United States understanding that it would be expensive. Having a community where most likely one parent remaining could move into IL with an adult son or daughter who has a disability and who has needed a supportive housing situation throughout the years. The reality is that these likely "middle aged adults" attend the same adult day programs that older seniors need in the community. And they, too, need an option to move seamlessly as support services are needed.

Again, I know this is for those who have the ability to pay and also that CCRCs would need to have the ability to screen and set criteria for such "a couple" becoming a part of the community. Still if parents have thought ahead and have LTC insurance as well as funds, it could be a realistic option for at least some for a period in their life. It would also provide a realistic framework for a family (including siblings) to plan for the decline of three. Due to federal guidelines CCRCs are structured to serve those age 62 and older. One benchmark on an adult son/daughter also entering might be an age of 40 or 45.

You're so on it. My siblings and I faced this, but with no money to handle it. Some months after our dad died, our sister with a DD ended up moving into an adult group home - she was still able to participate in activities, but our mom was not able to take her to them or even track her attending them. For her it was great as she was reunited with many friends from childhood and young adulthood. Our mom soon after moved into a memory care unit. What would have been was the ability for our sister to come occasionally stay with our mom, etc. But the US system is just not set up for this. Just not at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A place like this would be ideal. But I don't think the United States would ever prioritize this kind of approach to long-term care.

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/07/03/realestate/dementia-villages-senior-living.html

Sadly never, it's never going to happen.

[Anonymous]

I have a relative that took a year long cruise (10 months actually. She spent a week several times a year with each of her kids). It was cheaper than a nursing home. She did transatlantic cruises and really went everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Dhs grandma’s city has elderly daycare. There’s a bus that goes to her house, picks her up, feeds her, they do activities and then she goes home at like 4pm. It’s been ideal for everyone. Her children don’t have the burden of round the clock care.

[Anonymous]

The closest I know of is Westminster Canterbury in Richmond.

[Anonymous]

I want buildings like in the TV show “waiting for god,” where the rooms have a rear door that opens into a common courtyard.

Much easier to socialize during a pandemic.

The pandemic has changed a lot of my “wants” - better ventilation, ability to open windows, outdoor eating areas…

[Anonymous]

My Dad’s AL is really nice. He has a two room apartment with kitchen and gorgeous bath. He has a balcony that overlooks the town square where the community has weekend concerts. There are two restaurants in the town square so he can get to them even using a walker. Pets allowed, spacious and beautifully decorated common areas. It has a bar and happy hour every day. Outside areas. I told him I would live there in a heartbeat!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Dad’s AL is really nice. He has a two room apartment with kitchen and gorgeous bath. He has a balcony that overlooks the town square where the community has weekend concerts. There are two restaurants in the town square so he can get to them even using a walker. Pets allowed, spacious and beautifully decorated common areas. It has a bar and happy hour every day. Outside areas. I told him I would live there in a heartbeat!

Where is this place? Sounds heavenly. My mom really wanted a balcony but I couldn’t find a place near me that offered them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My parent's CCRC had a medical clinic on site. It was such a godsend. There were a few specialists I still need to take them to, but 80% could be taken care of onsite

This is a feature where the details are real important. The level of care they can provide, onsite. PP, would they handle lab test? Would they take samples and send out for lab tests?

I am so tired of getting literature from retirement communities that don't address care details, just pictures of elders eating in the restaurant.

For $1700/year, we retain a great concierge doctor who’s office is 5 minutes away from her place and makes house calls if need be.