Workplace dynamic with women

[Anonymous]

The gyno stuff is weird but it could just be that you’re within listening zone of the women who wanted to discuss it and they decided to just include you rather than not say it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this situation unusual?

I work closely with a few women who share a lot with me (I am a middle aged married man). I know about things like:
* GYN topics (yeast infections, heavy flow, D&C procedures, painful endometrial biopsies, suspect mammo results)
* all sorts of topics about their spouses (gripes, their issues, etc),
* difficult issues in their pasts (abuse, divorces)

I listen and empathize as best as I can. It doesn't bother me. But this is a new experience for me. Is this unusual? Or is it just new for me?

There have always been men that are better listeners than others. Talking about their relationships - not unusual.
Gyne topics is weird though. Even, I as a woman, would not want to hear that stuff as a casual water cooler conversation.

[Anonymous]

I think the first two things on your GYN list are odd, but the last three are surgeries and a cancer scare. These are pretty typical things that friends talk about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:File a report with HR. If a man was talking about his vasectomy and "morning wood" in front of female colleagues, he'd get fired. Women should be held to the same standard.

These women aren't talking about sexual function or sex at all. They are talking about their health issues. Would you go to HR for someone complaining about their knee or a fungal infection?

[Anonymous]

what age are the women? Women under 40 in my office are much less repressed about talking about health issues anywhere in their body than my generation (genx). I think its fine no one hides if they have prostrate cancer (which i think is much more analogous than the example above)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:File a report with HR. If a man was talking about his vasectomy and "morning wood" in front of female colleagues, he'd get fired. Women should be held to the same standard.

These women aren't talking about sexual function or sex at all. They are talking about their health issues. Would you go to HR for someone complaining about their knee or a fungal infection?

Or prostate cancer, if we are talking about something that only affects men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:File a report with HR. If a man was talking about his vasectomy and "morning wood" in front of female colleagues, he'd get fired. Women should be held to the same standard.

These women aren't talking about sexual function or sex at all. They are talking about their health issues. Would you go to HR for someone complaining about their knee or a fungal infection?

This is OP. I hear their comments as health issues amd not sexual. I asked the question here because it's a new experience for me and I didn't know if it is an outlier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:File a report with HR. If a man was talking about his vasectomy and "morning wood" in front of female colleagues, he'd get fired. Women should be held to the same standard.

These women aren't talking about sexual function or sex at all. They are talking about their health issues. Would you go to HR for someone complaining about their knee or a fungal infection?

This is OP. I hear their comments as health issues amd not sexual. I asked the question here because it's a new experience for me and I didn't know if it is an outlier.

I'm the PP. I was replying to the person who compared this to a man talking about "morning wood". That's only a fair comparison if you believe womens' bodies only exist as sexual objects for men.

[Anonymous]

These women are dull, and completely lacking in social grace or intellect. That's why they tell you about their yeast infections.

I'd get a new job.

[Anonymous]

The yeast infections and heavy flow are weird, the rest is not. If you’re uncomfortable with those two things I think it’s fine to pipe up and say something like ‘hey guy, I’m still here, I don’t know if you meant for me to hear that’. The rest seem normal to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you speak up and let them know these subjects are not appropriate?

If you did this, you’d be labeled sexist.

[Anonymous]

My ex is a dentist with an all female staff. He has heard it all. Nothing bothers him anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you speak up and let them know these subjects are not appropriate?

If you did this, you’d be labeled sexist.

Disagree. Record their comments, file a lawsuit for harassment, and get millions.

[Anonymous]

NP. This sounds like a woman I know. In fact she told me that at a previous job, HR talked to her about over-sharing about her genital issues in the workplace. Yet she still continues doing it, with me at least, and I'm not that closer to her.

Yes, it's totally inappropriate, in the workplace or outside with people you don't know very well. I don't think age is relevant as to whether it's appropriate or not in the workplace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you speak up and let them know these subjects are not appropriate?

If you did this, you’d be labeled sexist.

Disagree. Record their comments, file a lawsuit for harassment, and get millions.

For talking about medical issues at work? Oh I see- it's because it's lady parts. Therefore it has to be sexual. Because women are just sex objects.