11-wk old hardly sleeps!

[Anonymous]

OP here: To all PPs: I am all for having the little guy sleep in the lap to encourage him to sleep. Question: And this is based on stuff I've read in books or on the Internet, will getting accustomed to sleeping in the lap make it harder for him to transition to another sleep surface eventually? I may be a particularly clingy new mom, but I can't hold my kid enough! I take every opportunity to have him in my lap or hold him. During the day he is home with my mom while I am at work, but I hold him a LOT when I get home. I know there is no such thing as spoiling a newborn, but as he outgrows the newborn stage, will he have trouble adjusting to not being in the lap when he is asleep? Although, I have noticed that in the evening, when he really is fast asleep and you set him down, he'll continue sleeping. Again, my apologies for asking 50 million questions. I just worry that this kid isn't getting enough sleep. So if it means sitting with him in our laps to have him stay asleep, I guess that's what needs to be done. And it's nice to know I'm not the only one with an awake kid.

[Anonymous]

PP again (I have a lot of online time while the little one sleeps in the front carrier ) - to answer your question, I think, to some extent, you're right that it creates habits, but in my experience, sometimes you have no choice. That's what I meant about doing one thing at a time -- first, encourage concentrated periods of daytime sleep, second, work on transitioning to the crib. All babies are different, but in my experience, I think my son went more readily to the crib when he was older and could turn himself over and back, sleep on his tummy if he wanted, have some soft animals in the crib, etc...That said, I would continue to try to put your baby down -- as I mentioned, I might try one nap a day so even if that nap kind of gets blown, you have two more opportunities for good sleep.

My frustration with so many of the books is that they say things like, try to put the baby down awake and encourage him to fall asleep on his own...um, yeah -- but what if your baby just isn't going for it ever and you don't want to CIO?

[Anonymous]

As a nanny who's worked with many infants, I highly recommend "12 Hours by 12 Weeks", by Suzy Giordano, aka The Baby Coach. She actually lives/works in the area, too.
I'm currently working with a 5-month-old whose parents, up until about three weeks ago, were attachment parenting. VERY frustrating for me; the baby was fussy more often than not, could NOT be put down anywhere, and was hungry (took 5-6 ounces of formula) even when his mother had just breastfed him. He was using breastfeeding as snacking and/or just soothing. All in all, a very unpredictable baby.
The change within the last 2 weeks is unbelievable. I am now an even bigger fan of scheduling than I was before! Even if you don't follow the entire method, it basically says that by this age, you can achieve 12 hours of sleep at night (in the crib), a 1 hour nap in the morning (anywhere), and a 2 hour nap in the afternoon (again, anywhere), if you start to:
1) stretch the time between feedings, until there are no night feedings and four day feedings, four hours apart
2) increase the amount at each feeding
It is soooo helpful to know at what times he's going to be hungry, and tired. By the time his afternoon nap approaches, he's getting fussy, or rubbing his eyes, and is asleep as soon as I lay him down. One day, he fell asleep sitting on my lap, reading a book, and transferred to the stroller without moving!
I think he would sleep longer than 2 hours on some days, also, if he wasn't woken up. Of course, other days he'll wake up, happily, after 1 1/2 or 2 hours.
Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: Let me start by saying that DS actually got some sleep last night! Needless to say, he doesn't sleep through the night, but the pattern last night was much much better. Hallelujah! Having said that, I appreciate everyone's advice. I will give Weissbluth a shot, but in the meantime, I've been reading about CIO and it seems that one first needs to figure out whether 1) your baby is the type who uses crying to *release* tension 2) uses crying as a way to get stressed out. DS is one of those who likes to be held a lot and rocked to sleep etc. and I think the crying stresses him out. I have never seen him be able to self soothe. He is generally a pretty happy baby and can gurgle and play for awhile before getting fussy for food, or, I assume, at some point, for sleep. He is also never cranky when he wakes up from sleep.

The rocking always helps, as do car rides. Nursing is another good sleep inducer, but then I read about dissociating eating and sleeping and it confuses the heck out of me! At this point, I'd just like him to nap for more than 10 minutes at a stretch during the day. One thing that we've noticed, and I don't know if others have had the same experience, he'll fall asleep in the car and pretty much stay asleep if we are in a restaurant. The noise there doesn't seem to bother him in the least. He is fine in the car seat. It's just that when he is taken out and set down, that he wakes up. Same deal if he's fallen asleep in the lap and one sets him down. I have no qualms about holding my baby all the time, but I worry that it might be a problem once he starts daycare, which, with any luck, will be in late June.

Last night, we actually took him for a long drive on the Interstate (stop lights on the back roads were bugging him and he'd start crying every_single_time the car stopped!), and it worked. He fell asleep around 8:30pm and literally stayed asleep till 2:00am through diaper changes, clothes changes, being moved from the car seat to the bassinet etc. I even gave him a bottle while he was asleep, which he gladly finished off, burped, and continued sleeping. To the PP who asked if I was BFing, I am. Both nursing and the bottle, although, the nursing gets him to fall asleep faster than the bottle, usually. Oh, and he hates being swaddled! I have been blessed with Baby Houdini! He started busting out of the swaddle after about 3 weeks and has hated it ever since. Pacifiers are another thing he hates. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..................

Generally, the nights are not a huge problem. It's napping during the day that's an issue.

Sorry for the novel. I look forward to hearing about other experiences.

COI should be out of the question at this age. I am not sure any baby sleeps (although there are a few moms that may say the differ) thru the night or day or any time, They wake up to eat, poop, be held what ever. They eat a lot, every 2-4 hours. They have to poop during that time too and get love. One day your baby will sleep. Keep loving and holding him. Good luck

[Anonymous]

First PP with older child and 5 wo here (funny that there are two of us -- I also am relying on the Bjorn and Moby for naps. We're clearly on the same wavelength)....

OP, I really wouldn't worry about creating habits right now. I agree with the other poster that you have to work on one thing at a time, and right now just ensuring that your baby gets sleep is the most important thing. Again, Weissbluth is great for explaining this.

I'm also going to take exception to 16:35's posting. Not all babies are able to sleep 12 hours in their crib at night by 12 weeks -- in fact, I'd say that most aren't able to do this, particularly breastfed babies. Don't stress a schedule at this point (although I'm with the other PP that gently introducing a routine at this point is a great idea); in fact, the kind of schedule this poster is advocating actually might result in an overtired baby. Infants shouldn't be awake for more than 2 hours straight, so two naps a day isn't enough. (Also, stretching out feedings before 12 weeks isn't a great idea if you're bfing -- supply is still being established at this point.) And you should be attempting to get the baby back to sleep before he or she displays tired signs -- when they're rubbing their eyes, they're overtired. If you start following the two-hour rule now, soothing your bay back to sleep within two hours of waking, you'll lay the foundation for a routine that will turn into 3 naps (morning, mid-day, late afternoon) at about 4 mos. At that point, a schedule becomes much more realistic and useful.

Again -- good luck!

[Anonymous]

Thank you, all! I'll let you know how it turns out.

[Anonymous]

PP with the other toddler and 5 (now 6) week old --

Good luck to the OP and to the PP who also has the babies that don't sleep I felt so much better reading your posts. I've been somewhat demoralized having a second child with these sleep issues and I've wondered if I'm doing something wrong. You seem to be very much on the same wavelength re: sleep as me though with looking for sleep cues, the 2 hour window and getting to a 3 nap schedule.

Oh well, none of the babies will still be unwilling to sleep by the time they leave for college...