11-wk old hardly sleeps!

[Anonymous]

I've read that infants this age need to sleep 14 hours a day, but DS is nowhere near that! During the day, he'll nap for maybe 30 minutes at a stretch, tops. Generally, it's more like 10, if that. In the evening, he may fall asleep around 7 and can sometimes go until 9 or 10. But generally, during the night he 's up every 1.5 or 2 hours. Never a solid block of 3 hours of sleep. He doesn't cry a lot either. He's just up and most of the time cluster feeding during the day because he is up! I've noticed that he'll fall asleep in the lap, but will wake up as soon as he is set down. I haven't been able to get him to fall asleep on his own (he'll just stay up) or put him to sleep after he is lying in his bassinet.
Any ideas? Aside from the fact that there is no stretch of time to do anything else, I worry that he is not getting enough sleep. The ped hasn't been very helpful, btw.

[Anonymous]

I know it is hard on mommy not to get any sleep, but as for the child I think if he needed sleep, he would sleep. I have 6 week old, and we do have days when the baby sleeps 6-7 hours total in 30 minutes stretches.

[Anonymous]

My DS was doing the same thing around 11 weeks. It was cat naps all the time. Keep trying to put him down and don't be discourage by the cat naps. Somehow DS grew out of it starting at 4 months and began sleeping hours at a time.

[Anonymous]

Mine did the same thing. He started to change at 6 months. We also did CIO then. Hang in there!

[Anonymous]

Here are a couple things that come to mind - maybe something will help...

- is he eating a full meal at each feeding? An 11 week old is probably eating between 4 and 6 oz at a feeding. If you are BF it might be hard to tell but if he is just "snacking" he would get hungry every 1-2 hours. Will a full feeding he should be able to go 2.5 to 4 hours between feedings.

- do you swaddle? We use The Miracle Blanket for our 10 week old at night and although she fights it for the first few minutes she sleeps much better and longer. You can find it online - it is about $30 and worth every penny!

[Anonymous]

My daughter has been doing the same thing (she is 4 mo), and I had the same worry that she is not getting enough sleep. Now she occasionally takes an hour-long nap. But--I also have a much older first child and know that they do grow out of it eventually....

I also heard good things about The Miracle Blanket --and they are having a sale now!

[Anonymous]

I agree with everyone else that he will outgrow this, but I'd disagree with the PP who said that if he needed the sleep, he'd sleep. This isn't true; infants often can't settle themselves down and need you to rock them to sleep and even hold them through their sleep. Not all (or even most) infants, obviously -- it's about temperament, physiology, etc. But having had one child who needed to be held for most sleep as an infant and now a 5 wo who seems to be headed in the same direction, I know this to be true. I also know how big of a difference the right amount of sleep makes in terms of fussiness, etc.
Lest you think I'm advocating attachment parenting, etc., I'll note that we sleep-trained our first at 5 mos, so I understand the eventual need to let a baby learn to self-soothe, etc. But infants don't know how to do this. If he'll sleep in your lap at this point, let him sleep. Certainly don't expect an 11 wo to put himself to sleep in his crib. Some can do this, but many cannot.

And, by the way, my first became an amazing sleeper, so know that this does pass. It really does. It may be a difficult few months, and you may have to do some training at 5 or 6 mos, but in retrospect, it will seem like a very short period of time. Again -- I say this with a 5 wo asleep in my lap, so I'm in the middle of it right now! Good luck to you -- and if you're up for reading, I recommend Weissbluth; he does a really great job of explaining infant sleep patterns.

[Anonymous]

I second the Weissbluth recommendation. At 11 weeks, I rocked my son to sleep in his car seat all the time...I think I just let him sleep in there alot. Or a bouncy chair. He would never settle down in his crib for the first few weeks. (I did get him in his crib at night starting at about 4 months.)

[Anonymous]

I highly recommend Weissbluth too, although I found it hard to follow initially... lots of great information but not organized in the clearest of ways so it takes some patience to sort through.

My DD sounds very similar to your DS... cat-napping during the day and up every 2 hours or so at night. The more overtired she became, the worse it got so it was like a vicious cycle. Like PP said it gradually got better and we ultimately did CIO at 5-6 months and she has slept through the night with regular naps since. Hang in there and know that his current sleep patterns are no indication of what the future will bring.

[Anonymous]

PP here... Just wanted to add that although every sleep book I read recommended that baby be in the crib for naps, DD would only sleep well in the swing during the day. Around 5 months I napped DD in the swing around the same time each day so she became accustomed to that schedule. They weren't always long naps, but at least one would go beyond the 20-30 minutes I had formerly experienced. At 6 months I transitioned her to the crib and she has been in there ever since.

[Anonymous]

The nurse at our ped. office told us that when our DD reaches the 12lb. mark that we'll notice she'll start sleeping for longer stretches of time.

...just wanted to add that since it looks like you already have some good comments

Let's know how it goes OP

[Anonymous]

My son is 9 weeks and wasn't sleeping for more than 30 minutes at a time night or day (and he needed a lot of assistance to fall asleep). I had a lot of help the first eight weeks, so we ended up holding him or going for stroller rides for most naps and taking turns at night to soothe. This was my first week alone and since I have some physical issues that won't allow me to hold him all the time, we tried first to let him cry 5 minutes then 10 minutes before soothing. That was hard for me, although he did get in his longest stretch at night that way (six hours!). We gave up three days ago in favor of the car seat. What a great idea. If you haven't tried it, definitely see if it works for you. He sleeps about an hour to an hour and a half for naps and slept from 8pm to 7am, waking three times briefly to feed. I agree with PP that you might want to see if you are feeding him too frequently, too. I find that if I feed my son more than every two and a half hours, he tends to get a tummy ache and spit up more (making it hard to sleep). Check out the Baby Whisperer book if you haven't already. I was never able to get my son to sleep the way she describes, but everything else she suggests works great!

[Anonymous]

OP here: Let me start by saying that DS actually got some sleep last night! Needless to say, he doesn't sleep through the night, but the pattern last night was much much better. Hallelujah! Having said that, I appreciate everyone's advice. I will give Weissbluth a shot, but in the meantime, I've been reading about CIO and it seems that one first needs to figure out whether 1) your baby is the type who uses crying to *release* tension 2) uses crying as a way to get stressed out. DS is one of those who likes to be held a lot and rocked to sleep etc. and I think the crying stresses him out. I have never seen him be able to self soothe. He is generally a pretty happy baby and can gurgle and play for awhile before getting fussy for food, or, I assume, at some point, for sleep. He is also never cranky when he wakes up from sleep.

The rocking always helps, as do car rides. Nursing is another good sleep inducer, but then I read about dissociating eating and sleeping and it confuses the heck out of me! At this point, I'd just like him to nap for more than 10 minutes at a stretch during the day. One thing that we've noticed, and I don't know if others have had the same experience, he'll fall asleep in the car and pretty much stay asleep if we are in a restaurant. The noise there doesn't seem to bother him in the least. He is fine in the car seat. It's just that when he is taken out and set down, that he wakes up. Same deal if he's fallen asleep in the lap and one sets him down. I have no qualms about holding my baby all the time, but I worry that it might be a problem once he starts daycare, which, with any luck, will be in late June.

Last night, we actually took him for a long drive on the Interstate (stop lights on the back roads were bugging him and he'd start crying every_single_time the car stopped!), and it worked. He fell asleep around 8:30pm and literally stayed asleep till 2:00am through diaper changes, clothes changes, being moved from the car seat to the bassinet etc. I even gave him a bottle while he was asleep, which he gladly finished off, burped, and continued sleeping. To the PP who asked if I was BFing, I am. Both nursing and the bottle, although, the nursing gets him to fall asleep faster than the bottle, usually. Oh, and he hates being swaddled! I have been blessed with Baby Houdini! He started busting out of the swaddle after about 3 weeks and has hated it ever since. Pacifiers are another thing he hates. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..................

Generally, the nights are not a huge problem. It's napping during the day that's an issue.

Sorry for the novel. I look forward to hearing about other experiences.

[Anonymous]

I'm not the PP who has an older child and a 5 week old, but it could have been me...

I have a two year old and a 5 week old and I have to echo what she said -- not all babies will sleep when they are sleepy.

My toddler was a very, very tough napper. The good news -- now, at 2, he takes a very regular 2 hour nap a day. The bad news -- it was 9 months before he settled into a good routine of long crib naps. I did a lot to encourage them, but I think he really didn't work things out for himself until he started to crawl a lot and I think all that activity tired him out enough to encourage real napping.

My advice -- you can't do two things at once. You need to work on one issue at a time. I'd recommend you first encourage long stretches of sleep, but don't try to get him down in the crib while you do it. I held my son for many, many naps. You could also encourage long naps in the stroller, car or swing -- anything that can get you 1.5 hour or 2 hours stretches. Then, once his body has settled into the routine of regular daytime sleep, start trying for naps in the crib -- starting with one a day so that even if that one doesn't work out well, he has two or three other good naps. Start a naptime routine for your naps now if you can. It's totally a PITA, but worth it in the long run. I stayed home many, many days with my 3-4 month old, because I really wanted the napping routine to settle in rather than messing up his sleep schedule out and about doing errands or activities.

I thought I couldn't possibly have another child with similar tendencies, but, yes, my 5 week old will not settle down for naps -- in the crib, bassinet, carseat, etc... (or at night for that matter). The only thing working well at the moment is sometimes the swing or stroller, and mostly the Moby wrap or bjorn - and I hold her most of the night (which does allow her to sleep well between feedings). I'm going with this for the moment, while trying to get her down in the crib once or twice a day (no real luck yet) because I know she needs quality sleep. Once she's 3 months or so, I'll have to try even harder.

Like the PP, I'm not an attachment parenting advocate, but here I find myself co-sleeping and babywearing. Sometimes, you have to do what works for your child's temperment. It can be frustrating to talk to other moms who haven't experienced this, by the way. If you haven't had this situation, I think a lot of people assume you are doing something wrong when you say your child won't sleep in the crib. I have read all the major sleep books (worth perusing to understand sleep and get ideas, but none of them had the magic answer for me in one fell swoop).

Re: CIO -- I agree that it may not work well with some kids. I always had that sense with my toddler. We never did CIO -- just a lot of routine, consistency and time went into working on his sleep. It DID work out in the end. More work than many parents have go through, but we got there and I'm hoping I will again with the new baby.

[Anonymous]

PP again -- yes, this means you can't ever get anything done around the house...it's very frustrating when friends talk about how easy it is to have an infant who sleeps all the time and they've finished organizing their closets and their scrapbooks. I just gave in to the situation, though -- get a lot of magazines and books to read while baby sleeps on you.

While I don't really like Weissbluth's recommendations for encouraging sleep, I think he is right on with the descriptions of sleep physiology. I truly believe sleep is very important for babies. I should add that my toddler is an extremely happy kid and has been since we really started focusing on the daytime sleep at 3 months or so. I think it makes all the difference in the world.