MIL spoiling teen—wwyd?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Grandparents are gonna grandparent. I wouldn't return the gift. Just make sure you are communicating and imparting your values to your son. A discussion about the jacket and why you don't like the situation seems appropriate. He's 14, so he won't agree or even "get it." But it lays the foundation for more conversations about how you feel and think about money and spending and luxury brands and the desire to keep up with the Joneses -- conversations that will eventually help him get through life (well, hopefully).

Please don’t do this. Let him keep it or don’t (I probably would), but don’t let him keep it but try to make him feel bad about it.

it sounds like you didn’t set any guidelines or limits for grandma on what he could get. Now you know that in the future, you should have a conversation ahead of time about what you consider reasonable gift limits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would return it. I would not let my teen have an $800 jacket.

You do know that there is a risk of him being targeted and robbed of said jacket correct?

For a multitude of reasons, this jacket is a bad idea. I agree that kid can keep the jacket but not wear it around with friends etc. And I would have DH talk to MIL to set some limits for the future so you don’t have to deal with this all the time.

[Anonymous]

Maybe if you’re blasé about it, he won’t think $800 jackets are something special to covet? My DH has been mercilessly spoiled with expensive clothing and he could care less whether it’s a $1k sweater or a Walmart tshirt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would return it. I would not let my teen have an $800 jacket.

You do know that there is a risk of him being targeted and robbed of said jacket correct?

If you are at a private or wealthy school, maybe but big chance it will get stolen.

[Anonymous]

What kind of jacket is it? Just curious.

[Anonymous]

He’s 14 and it was a gift, stop being so controlling.

[Anonymous]

Let him be! Grandma can afford it and wanted to get him something he would truly love. And it was on sale. Back off and let him enjoy yet. You should let him know that if it gets damaged/lost/stolen you will not be buying another $800 coat, so he needs to take care of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a birthday gift from Grandma. Get over yourself.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grandparents are gonna grandparent. I wouldn't return the gift. Just make sure you are communicating and imparting your values to your son. A discussion about the jacket and why you don't like the situation seems appropriate. He's 14, so he won't agree or even "get it." But it lays the foundation for more conversations about how you feel and think about money and spending and luxury brands and the desire to keep up with the Joneses -- conversations that will eventually help him get through life (well, hopefully).

Please don’t do this. Let him keep it or don’t (I probably would), but don’t let him keep it but try to make him feel bad about it.

it sounds like you didn’t set any guidelines or limits for grandma on what he could get. Now you know that in the future, you should have a conversation ahead of time about what you consider reasonable gift limits.

This is wise. Very rarely do expensive things or cash gifts come with absolutely no strings attached. Grandma needs to respect your parenting regarding your children, not just do whatever she wants.

[Anonymous]

Let him keep it, and when it gets stolen lesson learned.

[Anonymous]

If you had any qualms or reservations about price or type of item, you should have opened your mouth BEFORE the shopping trip, OP! If you cared so much, why didn’t you employ *basic communication* techniques?

Now you say thank you and get on the same page with her BEFORE the next gift opportunity. Like an adult.

[Anonymous]

What is a $800 jacket a 14 year old boy would even want? My son is this age and he thinks of Patagonia as fancy. Like Moncler or something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is a $800 jacket a 14 year old boy would even want? My son is this age and he thinks of Patagonia as fancy. Like Moncler or something?

My boys would both love a Canada Goose puffer—that’s about $800.

[Anonymous]

My parents also like to spoil my teens with pricy gifts. They somewhat are making up for not being able to afford much when I was young. The price tags of those gifts don’t bother me as long as my parents aren’t skipping RX or mortgages to “show their love”. They have a comfortable and independent retirement. I do have regular discussions with my parents as well as my kids on this topic, sometimes when everyone is present. Kids don’t wear these expensive gifts to school (they tend to dress very casually during the school day). But they will dress up for family dinners, theatre or recitals. They have learned to take care of these items so they can last as long as possible. They respect the thought behind such gifts and hence are grateful for whatever they receive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is a $800 jacket a 14 year old boy would even want? My son is this age and he thinks of Patagonia as fancy. Like Moncler or something?

My boys would both love a Canada Goose puffer—that’s about $800.

I thought those were for girls. Like Uggs.