Taking all of your minor children on vacation together

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LOL! I'm OP. Yes, I posted yesterday. But a bunch of people didn't read my post carefully enough and thought I was talking about multi-family vacations, or that I was talking about adult children. I clarified this in the follow up comments but it seems people don't read those any more than they read the OP before responding. I was hoping to get responses to my question this time. It's funny, but in this thread somebody already disregarded the fact that I specifically stated MINOR children in the title.

I'm not trying to judge. I'm genuinely curious about whether I have a warped image of what middle class and UMC families do. I grew up on the lower end of lower middle class. My notions about how the other half lives are often based on watching too much Brady Bunch and Dirty Dancing instead of reality.

A PP noted that the activity examples I gave are very niche and aren't likely to be things that an entire family would want to do together, and I agree. My question is really whether most families with kids under 18 and still living at home would prioritize an all-family trip together over travel for just one family member and/or subgroups of the family. Obviously, if you have enough time and money you can do it all. But what do you do when you don't have tons of time and money?

Wow, no wonder you have so much time to post. Everyone IRL probably shuns you.

[Anonymous]

My kids were little during the pandemic, so this has just started to be something we’re trying to do.

But I can’t lie, I am not paying attention to how often everyone else is taking big family all together trips…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How important is it to you, or should it be, to take all of your children together on a trip for fun at least once a year? This is a high priority for me, but that's probably because I had such positive experiences doing this as a child. But I notice now that I'm an adult that my peer parents don't all do this even when they have plenty of money for travel. (I say they have plenty of travel money because they do travel a lot, and to expensive places, just not together. For example, one child might do a $8K music camp for a few weeks, and one parent and a teen might do mountain climbing in Nepal. The other parent might spend two weeks in Sedona at a yoga retreat that same year.)

I grew up lower middle class and I always associated the ability to do at least a modest trip together as a family with something everyone who is not "dirt poor" does every summer. I'm now wondering if my view of how the other half lives was warped by too much Brady Bunch, and in reality it isn't a norm for parents and all their children to vacation together annually.

These aren't weird. Kids are going to go to different camps sometimes. Parents are allowed to take trips without their family.

Even the middle example isn't odd - presumably only the teen is old enough to do the climbing trip.

Are you so sure these people NEVER travel together as a family? Maybe they didn't do it one year, so what?

[Anonymous]

Why has OP started a second thread in 2 days on this exact same topic?

[Anonymous]

We do both- I know you asked which we prioritize but I would say that we always do one family trip but we also do individual trips and different combinations- so it may seem we so that more. Heading to NYC with one kid soon- other kid hates NY and doesn’t want to come- of course I offered…

[Anonymous]

We have done all sorts of combinations, depending on the year. Most years we prioritized a family vacation. For the past few we have had lots of travel come up with our own parents getting older and having health issues. It could appear to someone like we each take the kids on separate vacations. In reality, the other spouse is traveling to help a sick parent.

This year we took a 4 day family vacation during spring break. My husband and I will each take them separately on a small vacation this summer while the other one helps our parents. That might not be obvious if you didn’t know us. We are also taking the kids, now teens, on weekend or day trips alone with a parent. It’s really nice to have one on one time with them.

[Anonymous]

My mom got sick so DH and kids went without me.

DH had a huge work commitment so I took the kids on vacation during the summer instead of no vacation.

Older kid went to sleep away camp so did a long weekend away so younger kid felt like they had something to look forward to also.

Ideally, we want to vacation all together, but… OP, doesn’t life get in the way? If not yet, it will.

[Anonymous]

Different people are different. Don't be so judgy. MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Yes I think it would be really weird and sad if the family never vacations all together.

But an occasional trip with a parent and just one kid is not a concern I think (so long as it balances). I went with DD on a trip when she turned old enough to do certain things; DH and younger DS did not come. Normally we all vacation as a family though and even that year we still all did a trip together. At some point it would be great to do a trip with me and DS but we haven’t gotten there yet.

[Anonymous]

Why do you care what other families do or don’t do? Do whatever you want. Don’t do what you don’t want to do. There ya go, OP. Why do you need the world to think of vacations the same way you do? People have different circumstances. My dad’s a surgeon and didn’t always get to go on every day of every vacation with us. Ooooooh, guess he didn’t prioritize family.

[Anonymous]

I can't think of a family I know who doesn't take at least one trip with all their kids every year. Going away for a week in the summer and often winter or spring break is definitely the norm.

The only time I've traveled with one kid and not the other is when I was going to visit my mom for a few days and one kid wanted to go and the other had other plans.

DH and I did not come from families where annual trips were the norm. DH's parents ran a small retail business and never took time off. My family typically took a trip every 2-3 years but they were long trips to spend a lot of time with out-of-state family. I would guess my dad spread them out to save up vacation time.

[Anonymous]

Wow, I wish that had been my family’s MO when I was young! How cool to be able to tailor vacations to the individual child.

We only have one child, but often will do trips with just dad/kid or mom/kid depending on which parent has vacation time or is passionate about the place. We do plenty of “all 3 of us” trips too, but the flexibility of not feeling like everyone always has to go has opened a lot more options.

[Anonymous]

We do both. My youngest is five and not ready for long travels. So currently I’m in Turkey with DS1 (12) and DD2 (8) while husband is home with our third. A few years ago I took my oldest to Russia and Armenia while the younger two stayed home.

We do do family trips but they are usually car trips.

[Anonymous]

We take trips together every year, but also do a one parent + one kid trip at least twice before they turn 18 (switching parents) and I typically do a longer trip with kids and no DH every summer bc my summer schedule is more flexible. Most aren’t fancy, but I love traveling and sharing new experiences with my kids.

Growing up my family was UMC but we rarely did trips with all 6 of us - just a few ski weekends and one big family trip when the oldest graduated high school.

[Anonymous]

We enjoy it and find it important for OUR family. Many of our peers don't. If they're sending the kid to music camp or hiking in Nepal, no doubt those will have an impact on their lives too. I leaned long ago that we can all turn out ok making different decisions along the way. Keep doing what works for your family.