Any Parents Privately Disappointed with College Placement?

[Anonymous]

Oops, 8:22 here -- nevermind -- misread. Shouldn't post before coffee!! Missed the "if" before only a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I couldn't agree with 13:37 more. My goal for my kids was to send them to a school where they would learn how to *learn,* to learn how to study; to think critically and to be exposed to great teaching in a stimulating environment. From the list of college acceptances at our school, I assume my kids will do just fine. I think there's a better shot of getting into a very good school from private when you're not necessarily at the top of your class then if you're in the middle at a big public. I could care less about the Ivy League - there are so many first-rate colleges and universities in this country and great grad schools also. In addition, I assume that my kids will be very well prepared for college as a result of their education in high school, unlike their dear old mom.

But a kid who is in the middle of his class at an academically competitive private perhaps would have been at the top of the class at a public.

That's an ignorant statement.

Nothing ignorant about my statement if you read the "perhaps" in it.

[Anonymous]

"Ignorant" was harsh (I'm not the PP who said that), but statements like this (especially from parents wondering what could have been which was the scenario OP presented) generally strike me as wishful thinking.

The average just isn't THAT strong at local privates; nor is the top that weak at most local publics (except consistently low-performing ones).

I am willing to believe that sometimes the valedictorian of a good local public would only have been top 10 of a top local private (or vice versa). Realistically, the trade-offs are more incremental AND which private vs. which public is the crucial question.

[Anonymous]

It is not the school which they attend that will set them up for success; it is their peers that they choose to hang out with and their internal motivation.

[Anonymous]

Of course the school you attend may well affect which peer you can choose from among and how well-motivated you are (and wrt what).

Obviously, HS isn't the only factor that determines where you go to college. But it plays a role both in where you go and how well you do once there.

[Anonymous]

In Montgomery County, Blair had 53 national merit scholarship finalists last year, and Richard Montgomery had 28. That's intense competition for the top at these schools.

My kids have done public and private, and I just can't accept the notion that public kids are somehow "less" in terms of ability. What the have less of is money, for sure.

In terms of quality of education, there may be a point about many (not all) privates being superior to most publics. But you can't even make sweeping generalizations about that. One of my kids did immersion, is now fluent, and is in a math/science magnet - I wouldn't switch that for any DC private, even the best ones.

[Anonymous]

It's OK, gals, your kids really are smarter than those public school slugs! If you kids moved to public schools, not only would they capture all the valedectorian slots, the schools would have to create new grades above an "A"!

[Anonymous]

Yes it is true. The applicant gets themselves into colleges not the private hs. Are kids better prepared from some of the top privates than top public. Maybe yes for writing and languages and not for math and science.

[Anonymous]

My kids are too young to know what kind of students they will be in high school. However, I do know that what I want for their pre-college education is lots of experiences in a variety of subjects (including art, music, etc.), the development of good work/study habits, and a love of learning. They are at a rigorous academic school right now, and one thing for which we will watch is whether their schools become too much of a pressure cooker at some point. If it does, we will make a change. Based on where things stand currently, it likely would not be a public school, but who knows where school budgets and classes in things like the arts will be at that point?

When it comes to college placement, I want them to go to the colleges that best suit them depending on their interests at that time. I don't care if it is a top 25 school - and I went to one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes it is true. The applicant gets themselves into colleges not the private hs. Are kids better prepared from some of the top privates than top public. Maybe yes for writing and languages and not for math and science.

I so agree. And it's the applicants and their legacy status at some colleges that get them into the colleges. Most legacy applicants would get into mom's or dad's college no matter what high school the applicants attend.

[Anonymous]

Privates do have much better college guidance counselors than big public high school counselors. The latter may know their way around the local community colleges, UMD, UVA and UDC. But they can't pick up the phone to their colleague at Yale's admissions office and advocate for your kid.

That doesn't have anything to do with your kid's abilities, or the quality of his education, of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I couldn't agree with 13:37 more. My goal for my kids was to send them to a school where they would learn how to *learn,* to learn how to study; to think critically and to be exposed to great teaching in a stimulating environment. From the list of college acceptances at our school, I assume my kids will do just fine. I think there's a better shot of getting into a very good school from private when you're not necessarily at the top of your class then if you're in the middle at a big public. I could care less about the Ivy League - there are so many first-rate colleges and universities in this country and great grad schools also. In addition, I assume that my kids will be very well prepared for college as a result of their education in high school, unlike their dear old mom.

But a kid who is in the middle of his class at an academically competitive private perhaps would have been at the top of the class at a public.

That's an ignorant statement.

Nothing ignorant about my statement if you read the "perhaps" in it.

Qualifying the statement with "perhaps" doesn't take away its sting. It's still incredibly ignorant. Private schools are for the parents. You pay; you can make demands. So students aren't necessarily more resourceful or intelligent. They are, however, often catered to. After all, it's much easier to reach a destination with a GPS system instead of relying upon a map and some road signs, eh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are too young to know what kind of students they will be in high school. However, I do know that what I want for their pre-college education is lots of experiences in a variety of subjects (including art, music, etc.), the development of good work/study habits, and a love of learning. They are at a rigorous academic school right now, and one thing for which we will watch is whether their schools become too much of a pressure cooker at some point. If it does, we will make a change. Based on where things stand currently, it likely would not be a public school, but who knows where school budgets and classes in things like the arts will be at that point?

When it comes to college placement, I want them to go to the colleges that best suit them depending on their interests at that time. I don't care if it is a top 25 school - and I went to one.

You could do public and spend the money on extra-curriculars. If you want your kid to be any good at music, theater or the like you will do extra-curriculars anyway. My kids' private did recorder lessons and cute musicals, but there really are limits to that.

Work and study habits come from you. It's a lot of hooey that public school kids have bad study habits.

Love of learning may be a case for private - some publics do drill and kill. Some have great teachers, though.

I guess what I'm saying is, there is a casefor private, and especially for certain kids. But some of you are painting a cozy picture of privates being a refuge from the generally barbaric publics with their dumb, low-achieving, generally déclassé public kids, and this is just hooey.

[Anonymous]

To answer OP's question, there have been threads on this. A Sidwell kid who was rejected from UMD's honors program. A Maret kid who got into only one school, Wisconsin State. Both fine schools (and UMD honors is actually pretty tough to get into) but apparently not what the parents were expecting. Are these outliers or routine? I have no idea.

You may also find threads about how the private kids who go to Ivies and other top schools are legacies, come from connected families, or would have been recruited for sports from any school they attended. Other posters dispute this. Read the old threads and form your own opinion. There are also books, like The Price of Admission.

But search the DCUM archives if you want to avoid more drivel about how private kids are intrinsically better than public kids....

[Anonymous]

Go to Holton ... great college placement