Live in nanny M-F only

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My niece did this for awhile (not in the DC or NYC area). Basically on the weekends she stayed with her boyfriend who had his own apt, no roommates. Because she only stayed 2 days a week, it did not violate his lease terms regarding guests. She would hang out there a couple nights a week after work but sleep at her nanny's house.

I think she did it a little over a year and ended things on good terms with the family. She just matured out of the arrangement.

It's nice that it worked out for you niece, but it doesn't sound like an ideal situation. If a nanny is depending on staying at a boyfriend's house every weekend, it puts her in a vulnerable position. What if he becomes abusive, or starts using drugs? She'll feel obligated to still stay with him so she isn't homeless every weekend. Or what if they just break up, or he gets a new job opportunity and needs to move?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friends had Indian ladies who liked this setup. The aunties lived with their children permanently. This allowed them to have some income and their kids had their space. They typically did this once their own grandchildren were past the nanny stage.

So these nannies were quite old?

Depends. Some become grandparents at 50 at 55 the grandkids go to school and the grandmom can work as a nanny. We had one like that. She was 57, very energetic and spry and loved babies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friends had Indian ladies who liked this setup. The aunties lived with their children permanently. This allowed them to have some income and their kids had their space. They typically did this once their own grandchildren were past the nanny stage.

So these nannies were quite old?

In their fifties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My niece did this for awhile (not in the DC or NYC area). Basically on the weekends she stayed with her boyfriend who had his own apt, no roommates. Because she only stayed 2 days a week, it did not violate his lease terms regarding guests. She would hang out there a couple nights a week after work but sleep at her nanny's house.

I think she did it a little over a year and ended things on good terms with the family. She just matured out of the arrangement.

It's nice that it worked out for you niece, but it doesn't sound like an ideal situation. If a nanny is depending on staying at a boyfriend's house every weekend, it puts her in a vulnerable position. What if he becomes abusive, or starts using drugs? She'll feel obligated to still stay with him so she isn't homeless every weekend. Or what if they just break up, or he gets a new job opportunity and needs to move?

These “I once heard of” stories are so strange. No one is going to live at your place during the week and couch surf on weekends just to make op happy. If you want that, pay for a hotel on weekends.

[Anonymous]

OP, what is your rationale for wanting a nanny who disappears on the weekends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone been successful in hiring a live in nanny who lives in M-F? A number of our friends in Ny have this set up but we’ve been having a hard time figuring out how to find this in DC. Thanks in advance!

Very easy if you are paying "250,000/year. Why would anyone want a job where they live one place e 5 days a week and then have to pay for an apartment on weekends and holidays. What if there is a blizzard, are you going to expect her to leave on the weekend. Also, if there is a emergency are you going to expect her to change her plans and stay for the weekend.

This is a galactically stupid idea.

[Anonymous]

in many cultures, women have kids early on, thus they have grandkids in 50s, so they are not really "old", Not only India and Asia in general, eastern Europe too.

[Anonymous]

Where is OP? I’m so curious as to the why.

[Anonymous]

My BIL and his wife had two nannies who lived in only during the week. One had her own apartment that she escaped to on weekends. The other stayed with family and friends. You might find one of these when you advertise for a live-in. The key is finding someone social who doesn’t like to commute and is good about establishing boundaries within your home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:in many cultures, women have kids early on, thus they have grandkids in 50s, so they are not really "old", Not only India and Asia in general, eastern Europe too.

So what do the women do in these cultures if they don't move to the US? They are still in India, Asia, or eastern Europe--but they are only in their 50s and they grandkids are old enough to no longer need care-presumably everyone else in their area also has young grandmothers around so they don't need to hire out help?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my former life, I did this. I didn’t enjoy the commute and the family offered me comfortable, separate
quarters. Key thing is, I never offered discounts to live-in.

I know a family who offered this arrangement to a nanny they had been working with already. The nanny said fine, but she had to keep her same salary since she still had to pay rent. She also said she needed her own private space so they renovated the basement to add a kitchenette and full bathroom/bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Lots of people have family and friends they could crash with on weekends so I’m sure there are nannies open to this but it’s really going to narrow down your potential pool.

The reason that it’s so much more common in NYC is that there are so many more low income recent immigrants from cultures accustomed to multigenerational housing, who want to be nannies while carving out some freedom without really fully living on their own. While DC also has plenty of immigrants, we don’t have the name number of low income domestic labor type immigrants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone been successful in hiring a live in nanny who lives in M-F? A number of our friends in Ny have this set up but we’ve been having a hard time figuring out how to find this in DC. Thanks in advance!

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/nanny-forum/posts/list/375860.page

Is there a reason you crossposted?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friends had Indian ladies who liked this setup. The aunties lived with their children permanently. This allowed them to have some income and their kids had their space. They typically did this once their own grandchildren were past the nanny stage.

So these nannies were quite old?

If they had kids 18-25 and their kids had kids 18-25, they wouldn't be more than 55, maybe 60. Plenty of women nanny to 65.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone been successful in hiring a live in nanny who lives in M-F? A number of our friends in Ny have this set up but we’ve been having a hard time figuring out how to find this in DC. Thanks in advance!

Are you sure you're not misunderstanding the setup. The nanny is unavailable Sat/Sun but still lives on the premise.