Tween at camp has no friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Former camp counselor. It will get better.

Former camper who spent a miserable month at a bad-fit camp that I still remember painfully 40 years later: it does not always get better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Former camp counselor. It will get better.

Yeah, no. Not always. Parents delude themselves about this.

OP - I would speak to his counselor or another adult to ask about the situation before asking to speak with him. When I was at camp we were 100% never allowed to speak to parents. Not sure if it is the same now.

[Anonymous]

^^ former counselor -- I agree with the above. Ask for a quick check-in with camp admin or a counselor, say you got the letter, you understand that things change quickly--what are they seeing currently? If it seems like it's still tough going, you can ask if there are any ways for him to connect with kids outside his cabin that might be more on his wavelength. Hopefully, the staff will be noticing it and concerned too, and might even ask your help in learning about what works.

Sorry about the letter; that seems rough. I hope the situation has shifted to a more positive direction.

[Anonymous]

I went to one 8 week camp that I did not like and did not click with anyone. I survived and switched to another camp the next summer. I don't think switching to another bunk would help since kids normally have the chance to make friends in other bunks. In my case the camp was just not a good fit.

But I agree that it would make sense to call the camp and see what they think is going on. As a camp director told me "I can solve more problems in July than I can [after the fact] in October."

[Anonymous]

Op, you aren't there. You don't know.

[Anonymous]

My daughters are overnight camp counselors. Often kids write home they hate it, have no friends. Then the parents call/email. And most of the time the counselors are shocked to hear this his what they are saying because the kids seems perfectly fine. So take with grain of salt.

[Anonymous]

FWIW, my experience as tween girl:

Year 1: 4 weeks. Went with BF from home. Happy as a clam. Signed up right away for Year 2.

Year 2: 8 weeks. BF didn't go with. At 2.5 weeks wrote parents the letter and asked to go home with them visiting day. Parents didn't swoop in but asked me to keep them informed if things didn't get better. Things did get better quickly and stayed the full 8 weeks. Signed up for Year 3. Letters back and forth with new camp friends.

Year 3: 8 weeks. Awful almost from the start. A lot of physical and emotional changes between 11 and 12. Cliques formed almost immediately. Wrote the same letter. Parents got the message somehow that it wasn't going to get better this time and let me come home with them visiting day.

I guess the takeaway for parents is to try to see the whole picture -- like is your kid developing at a different rate than his/her peers?

[Anonymous]

Maybe it will get better, maybe not. But unless they are being bullied, or something terrible, they should stick it out. It’s a few weeks, not the end of the world. It will have them form good life skills. Maybe they will work a job where they don’t really gel with their coworkers.